The last two days I told you about MamasBoy slapping himself with MrT's colonge and then giving away all the Christmas watches.-You did read those, right? Because if you didn't you are going to be lost now. If you read the previous two posts I know that you are wondering....What else can this kid take to school, aren't you? You KNOW you are! Well, I will tell you!What do most men need to get a girl (besides a sweet, adorable personality, good looks and a nice car)? Come on-you know the answer~it's MONEY~ Of course it is. Oh-you can lie and say that you loved the poorest boy you ever dated because he was poor...but if he was too poor to buy underwear I will bet you that you went on to date someone else. There is just something about a man with no underwear that....oh never mind...glad I am not the laundress of one of THOSE guys!
Ok- forget day one and day two of our little miracle's school tales. We are now on Story #3! I drop by the school on the dot of 3 to pick my mini-hero up. His teacher meets me at the door with an envelope. MamasBoy has worn Mrs. Long's patience just a tad thin on this particular day. She hands me the envelope. I start silently praying, "Please, please God, don't let them kick him out of pre-school. He is just a little boy. I know he's a bit naughty but then so was I (er-I mean-I never got in any trouble) I KNOW he is a good boy so, please, please God let his teacher be patient with him." As I end my selfish prayer I see that Mrs. Long has a sparkle in her eyes. Whew! Dodged another bullet. Dare I ask?
"So, Sue (we are on a first name basis by now)~How was MamasBoy today? Did he cause any problems?" Out of the corner of my eye I see The Boy's head shaking violently back and forth...and I am thinking....liar...liar...pants on fire! "No! No problems", Sue says. "But", she continues, "Are you missing any credit cards?" Huh? What? Uh...noooooo-I don't think so...
"Why?" I foolishly ask, falling into the trap that has been set for me. "Well", Sue says with her nicest little I'm-a-wonderful-teacher-smile, "Because MamasBoy brought a dozen of them to school and handed them out TO THE GIRLS!" WHAT? I want to laugh but I don't quite dare because now she has her "stern teacher" face on. "I'll take care of it", I tell her as I take the envelope and haul my precious bundle of enthusiasm out the door.
Picture this-a hot car-a hot kid- and a hot Mom rifling through a sticky envelope finding 2 or 3 credit cards, 2 gas cards, a diner's card, a Publix check cashing card, 2 or 3 store cards, etc.. "What's this?" I ask. "Cwedit Cawds", comes the answer. "And WHY did you hand out credit cards to all the girls in class?" "I told them to buy yourselfs sumthin nice gurlhs". And WHY would you do that I asked him....."Cuz gurlhs like nice things!" Well, of course they do...why did I even ask! After telling MyHero what happened he said...and I quote...."That's my boy!"...and so it is!
2 comments:
Obviously this is WWWAAAAAYYYY before Starbucks. Do you know how I know that? Because if you had gone to SBUX that morning (as you now do EVERY morning, and sometime TWICE a morning), you would have quickly discovered your missing SBUX Gold Card and probably would have thrown a fit and started swearing and trying to figure out where you left your precious, most prized possession (the Gold Card, that is).
Liar-Liar-Pants on fire- I do not go TWICE in a MORNING!
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