Thursday, February 2, 2023

MAKING VALENTINES WITH GRANDKIDS---START WITH PROZAC-END WITH WINE

I wrote this a long time ago

but I think it deserves a repeat~


 Grab something with caffeine because

you will be tired when you are done reading this.

Step One:
First you must hang a banner inside 
so the grandkids
will know which holiday they 
are celebrating.

Just a word of caution..
If you hang one
that looks like
the one below..
SOMEONE
(who shall remain nameless)
will be sure to ask..
IS HIMS NAKED?

Your reply should be
Absolutely..
That is why he is
carrying an envelope.
This is sure to produce
a giggle from at
least 2 of the 3 grandkids.
The third one doesn't giggle.

She doesn't giggle 
because she doesn't
"get it".  
She is trying to figure out 
where HIMS got that big of an envelope.


Step Two:
You must lay out supplies.
These will cost somewhere
in the neighborhood
of $459.00...and....
after you buy
ALL THAT STUFF,
you will realize that you have
forgotten at least one or
two crucial supplies..
Like...
Elmer's WASHABLE glue. 
Lord help you if you buy the 
regular Elmer's glue
because it will NOT be pretty!


Now that you have
your supplies home
and have signed the bank loan
to cover the expense..
you must lay out the goodies...
Lay them out nice and neatly..
Sigh over the paper-Oh So Sweet

Step Three:
HANG A FLAG OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR.

A cute little cherub flag
to greet them with a smile.
Isn't it perfect?
Love Mary Englebriet's flags.
Then they arrive bringing presents.
Bringing PRESENTS?
PRESENTS FOR ME?
Yep-these are for Nana..
and they made them all by themselves.

Inside are beautiful little
hearts made with love..
One from Ria.
Two from Lulu...
and one from SweetCheeks.
Of course I must put them all on..
I pick up SweetCheeks...
What does this say, SweetCheeks?
That's jus' sumbuddy ehlse's name
on there...Doan't pay eny
attenshun to the name...
just putt it on..
Whereupon I am informed
by Lulu that
"I told SweetCheeks
NOT to give you that one".
Whereupon SweetCheeks says
NOAH.YOHU.DIDN'T.LULU
an' I dohn't care cuz I am ghiving
it to her enyways! PFFFFFT!
I start the legal paperwork
to change my name to Allison.
Great.. We are off
to a nice, calm start...

Now where were we?
Okay..girls..
Let's get started...
WHO WANTS TO MAKE A VALENTINE?

Everyone's hand shoots into the air.

In short order everything
 looks like this.....
All three girls are
Busy-Busy-Busy
Lulu made this-
 Ria loved the self-stick hearts...

SweetCheeks has changed into 
her 3rd Princess outfit and has busied herself
making th...........
Oh, Dear Lord In Heaven...
While I was refilling my coffee cup,
pray tell WHO handed HER 
the glitter?

There is glitter glitter everywhere..
On the floor and on the chair..
In her mouth and on her hair....
I could go on and on with the
rhyming thingy but I'm afraid
the Dr. Suess police will get me.


An especially nice touch? 


The globs of
glue that dropped here and there
and shine brightly up
from the chair...and the table...
and the floor...and the countertop...
Did I say floor? Ah..yes...
and back to the glitter...
Nothing like glitter on the floor
that can be tracked from
room to room..
Leave NO ROOM untouched
seems to have been the motto
of the day.
I decide I need a bathroom break
to dispose of the 3 gallons of coffee
that I have downed in an effort
to keep up with this
CRAFT DAY WITH THE KIDS.
Lo and behold,
in the small reading nook
(where the old steps used to be)
I SEE THIS!!!
How did all these books get off
the shelf and on the floor?
I ask ever-so-sweetly-
between slightly gritted teeth.
Uh-oh---Here it comes...

Welllll...says SweetCheeks..
Ria toohk a few books off
the shellf and then I helped her
and taked the rest offf..and
we jus' put 'em there for now.

Yeah? Where do you think
you're gonna put them later?

Wellll...It was Ria's idea.
I dunno how they gonna
get bahck on the shelfs.

Hmmmm...I dunno where YOU'RE
gonna go either if you guys don't put
these books back.
All too soon-
hahahahahahahaha
the day ends and we clean up the
mess, they put on their matching
dresses that Nana bought them
 and they get ready to go home.
As you can plainly see 
SOMEONE has been so overworked
she has collapsed in a heap
using her sisters as pillows.
These little girls are big girls now...
but I love them as much as I did 
when they were little like this...
even more...

Kind of bittersweet to look back on 
these special times.

I may invite them over to
do this again this weekend. 

If you don't see me by Monday
I will be glued to a seat somewhere
in the house.
I hope it is in a chair in front of
the computer.

Edited to add:
MyHero reads my blog and says:
 You SPENT $459 ON THIS STUFF?
(Sheeez...don't ya know a joke when you read one?;>)

And -just in case you are wondering-
I don't use prozac or wine-
I just suffer quietly instead.
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Friday, January 20, 2023

I AM NOT A WISCONSIN NATIVE-HERE IS WHAT I LEARNED THE HARD WAY

 

When we got married and moved to
WISCONSIN (from Florida)
MyHero told me that there was 
NO PLACE QUITE LIKE WI!
Lord love us, he was right!
It is one of the few times in our 
married life when he was
(unquestionably) right.

ON WISCONSIN
is the state song...
that's good-

Here are a few WI facts for you.
I will start out on the positive-

Wisconsin does have
some pretty farms & great people
and we have Door County-
one of the prettiest places on earth-bar none-

BUT-
We also have Milwaukee.
Milwaukee's claim to fame is the 
highest number of alcoholics per capita 
of any city in the states.
Congratulations! Great Win!!
No- these are NOT relatives-
thanks for asking.

Where else (in a retail store) 
have you ever seen
a sign giving away
You have to wonder about the
dummies that took them~

And-
How 'bout those Packers?
You can throw that sentence
 out any time of year-
no need to wait for football season--
and the "discussion" is on!
Apparently, there is only ONE PACKER
everyone talks about.
If you know WHO he is you are 
IN FOR THE WIN
in the conversation.

Only in Wisconsin is a water fountain
called a "bubbler". 
It's true I am NOT making this up.
The first time someone asked me
where the bubbler was located 
I thought they were talking about the
kid down the street that blew
snot bubbles out his nose.

State Animal?
A badger! 
That's right- the meanest rodent
God ever put on earth and
Wisconsin claimed him as its own
to honor and adore.
The even named him-
Bucky Badger!
Why not a nice little rabbit
 or prairie dog?
Nope!  We gotta have a badger!

It is mid January and we still have
MONTHS OF SNOW AND COLD
ahead of us.
I can't tell you how excited I am about that!
It is snowing now,
and we have MORE SNOW COMING!

I am as excited as I was the day
MyHero ran into the house with a forklift.
I can't tell you 
THAT STORY
or I will be history.....hmmm..
might be worth it....nah...

That being said-
Wisconsin is now home to me.
My kids, grandkids, hubby
and wonderful friends are here.

What else could a person ask for?
Oh...yeah...
Starbucks. 
I am going to go get one now.

Never mind-
I just looked out and there is a 
BLIZZARD happening here!
I am returning to my fireplace
and my book and dreaming about 
being somewhere else....
My body is in Wisconsin
but my heart is in Florida!

Health Update:
I am feeling much better.
Barely coughing at all and getting 
my energy back.
I spent EIGHTEEN DAYS in bed.
It gave me a whole new appreciation
for people that suffer long-term illnesses
and spend a lot of time in bed.
God bless them!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
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Friday, January 13, 2023

FRIDAY THE 13TH-MY ONLY SUPERSTITION-AND A HEALTH UPDATE

 Are you scared of

PARASKAVEDEKATRIAPHOBIA?

Are you scared that you 
MIGHT HAVE A DISEASE
with such a long, weird name?

Maybe you have it and don't even know it.
I do!
I have it to some extent!
I might have a touch of
PARASKAVEDEKATRIAPHOBIA!
I do NOT like Friday the 13th!
No, indeedy!

Are you superstitious?
Are there certain things you avoid doing?

Do you spill salt and throw some over
your left shoulder to avoid bad luck?

Do you avoid walking
UNDER A LADDER?

Does a rocking chair rocking with no one in it
means there will be a death in the family?
Do you believe bad luck and deaths
comes in threes?

Do you think it will bring you 
bad luck if a black cat crosses your path?
Nope! Me either.
HOWEVER-
I DO NOT LIKE THE NUMBER 13!

I won't buy a house 
(and we have had 16 of them)
with a THIRTEEN in the address.
I won't buy a house that has
THIRTEEN STEPS.
Nope!  No. I . Won't.

Did you know that when they hang people
there are 
THIRTEEN STEPS
leading up to the gallows?

Do you think those being hung
count them?
Is their last thought-
WOW!  They were RIGHT
13 IS an UNLUCKY NUMBER!
(yes-I know I am wicked-thanks for the reminder)

Did you know:
Most hotels don't have a 13th floor?
There are many bible references to 13?
There were 13 people at the Last Supper-

There is a 40%+  decline in houses that 
close on Friday the 13th.

Places offer discounts to couples that will
book their wedding on a Friday the 13th.

And-perhaps the most important thing of all?
It takes 13 Witches to form a Coven?
Well, I won't be joining the other
TWELVE OF YOU TODAY.
This old witch will be staying home,
sucking down coffee
and watching old movies today
cuz ya just never know what 
danger lurks outside on
FRIDAY THE 13TH!

I AM FEELING BETTER!
Coughing less.
I have been in bed since Dec 28th.
My Christmas decorations are still up-darn it!
I have a lab appt on Monday and a 
follow up with a doctor on Thursday.
I am hoping that this coming week
sees a real turnaround for me.
I NEED to be well and get back
to my usual nonsense.
However, because today is 
FRIDAY THE 13TH
I will stay in bed!

How about you?
Do YOU have any superstitions?
I bet you do---even if it is a simple one--
like always kissing someone goodbye--
---just in case---

Here's a little 
GOOD LUCK KISS
for you today!
Pucker up, baby!
Have a great weekend--
just in case I don't make it back here-----
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Saturday, January 7, 2023

FOLLOW UP -SATURDAY HEALTH SESSION

 GOOD MORNING~

Just thought I would do a bit of

follow up health-wise.

I was the first one in the door

for the walk-in urgent care this morning.



Within a few minutes a PA saw me,

I had an x-ray and results.

I have pneumonia.

No wonder I have been coughing!

I have 3 new prescriptions

and am going to spend more

QUALITY TIME

with my little boyfriend in bed.




Trust me-This is not the fun time one

usually has with a boyfriend in bed.

Just sayin-----

A few more days and I should be 

feeling a whole lot better.

Take care of yourselves

and get thee to a doctor

if you suspect anything!

Send some good wishes my way

so I can spend some time with

my Little Lulu before she 

heads off for the 

Disney College Program again.



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Wednesday, January 4, 2023

HAPPY VIRAL NEW YEAR---NOT A HAPPY VIRUS

 In case you wonder where I have been.

You would find me in bed!

Eight days today with my 

very best friend.



His loyalty is amazing.

He is by my side 90% of the time.

He has dragged all his treasures

all over the bedroom hoping

I would enjoy them as much as he does.

Sometimes he gets tired of my pillow and

changes positions.

                      Other times he just sits and looks at me

with a toy hanging out of his mouth.


               

All in all he has been my best medicine.

I came home from my daughter's house

a week ago last Tuesday.

On Wednesday morning I woke up coughing so hard

I could not get a deep breath.

I went  the next day

and was tested for Covid and Influenza.

Thankfully, I had/have neither.

I do have a nasty virus.  

Today is Day 8 in bed.

I think I turned a corner yesterday

and am coughing a lot less.

The meds have helped and my old stand-by

Thera-Flu

works well for me.

It is compatible with the prescribed meds

so that's a good thing.

I NEVER get sick like this.

I am NOT a good patient.

I just want to be left alone and ignored. 

and that works well in this house.

However, Scruffy is the welcomed exclusion.

So, I may be away a while longer.

I haven't been on the computer much.

Just wanted to send out an update.

See you all in a 

New Healthy Year.

That's the promise I am claiming.





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