Monkeys Monkeys Everywhere Except In The Ornament Department

What a day!

Let me repeat myself..please..

WHAT A DAY!

Now..y'all know I call the little

curtain climbers around here

monkeys.

There are four of them that

visit on a semi-regular basis.

And..

they are ALL monkeys to me.

Monday morning

finds 2 girls off to school

and you-know-who

left behind.

Quick as lightening we

shuck off our clothes in the

living room..

Well...ONE of us shucked off our

clothes in the living room

and it wasn't me.

Me? I dress in the

closet with the door closed.

When they say I'm coming

out of the closet they mean it

in the nicest way...like

OH! Nana got dressed today..

Yes, yes..I do get dressed

everyday..

thanks for asking.

Anyway..back to the shucking

of clothes..

The Princess That Reigns

has now donned her

normal attire and

is about to feed her baby.

Hey! Can I see your baby?

Dass not a baby..

Yoah know whut diss iss.

Diss is my muhnkey..An' I'm gonna feed hims

wiff hims own bottle.

Hmmm..

I see you got HIMS

dressed in HERS

dress.

I thought that was a boy

monkey, SweetCheeks.

Nope..Hims a gurhl.

Well, of course, hims is!As soon as I can muster

up the courage we get

dressed and head to the

store.

We are on the ultimate

ornament search..

The ultimate MONKEY

ornament search.

You can read all about

the sad tale

of the missing monkey here.

Today we are going

to a store that advertises

EVERY ornament

known to mankind.

I KNOW I can find

a monkey ornament there...

but...just to be on

the safe side...

I drop

SweetCheeks and her Mom

off at TJMaxx and head

next door to

PJ Collectibles..

(amazing store full

of collectibles and ornaments)

I confidently approach

the sales clerk.

I'm looking for a monkey

ornament...Nothing fancy

(I am sooo NOT paying $75.00

for a Radko monkey for

a four year old..I may

LOOK a bit daft but

I still have a few bolts

tightened in the old

nut factory)

Anyway, Ma'am

I'm looking for something

similar to this picture..

Do you have anything

like this?

Oh yeah...and, mentally

add a tutu and you

will get a close visual to what

SOMEONE

broke.

Ummmm...here let me take

you over to the zoo collection.

titter-titter-titter

I guess we don't have any

monkeys this year.

WHAT?

WHUT?

No monkeys?

No..not this year...

You have 50 gazillion ornaments

and not one flipping monkey

in the whole store?

(I said THAT whole conversation

in my head..

to myself ..

so I could pass for

a pleasant person).

Okay..Well,

Thanks anyway!

I meet Mom and SweetCheeks

and sadly shake my head.

My daughter looks at me.

Her mouth is hanging

agape in that

"You've GOT to be

kidding me" look.

Well, I say..let's head to

Target...we have already

checked out Shopko,

Walmart, Hallmark,

independents..

we are on to

Target.

Our last great,

white (and red)

hope.

SweetCheeks

settles herself into the

cart because I bribe

her with

bubblegum..

Where's that gum

I just gave you?

Welll, Nanneee..

yoah losteded it bhack

therh..

What?

I sayed yoah losteded it

bhack therh when

it dropped outta my mouff

and down through the

holes in the charrt

and yoah jus' keeped

whalkin'

OMG!

I am going to be arrested

for littering, by the

rent-a-cop..

cuz I see one coming

towards us and she

looks mean.

Hey, SweetCheeks calls.

My heart drops into my shoes.

Do yoah haff eny muhnkey

ORMANETS?

Try the Christmas aisle..

floats back..

It floats back...

because, honey, I am

moving myself right along

away from that

dreaded wad of gum

that is lying

SOMEWHERE

unknown waiting,

like a louse,

to attach itself to

a host foot.

We finally get to the

ORMANENT department.

When did Target get to

be the size of

a football stadium?

Lo and behold..

there it is..

The last one in the store.

Ohhh..

Sweetcheeks sighs..

Datt iss the one

I dreamed I wanted.

It isss 'zackly whut

I want.

SOLD!Hmmmm...

Doesn't look like a monkey

in a tutu to me...

just sayin'...