Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Monkeys Monkeys Everywhere Except In The Ornament Department

What a day!
Let me repeat myself..please..
WHAT A DAY!
Now..y'all know I call the little
curtain climbers around here
monkeys.
There are four of them that
visit on a semi-regular basis.
And..
they are ALL monkeys to me.
Monday morning
finds 2 girls off to school
and you-know-who
left behind.
Quick as lightening we
shuck off our clothes in the
living room..
Well...ONE of us shucked off our
clothes in the living room
and it wasn't me.
Me? I dress in the
closet with the door closed.
When they say I'm coming
out of the closet they mean it
in the nicest way...like
OH! Nana got dressed today..
Yes, yes..I do get dressed
everyday..
thanks for asking.
Anyway..back to the shucking
of clothes..
The Princess That Reigns
has now donned her
normal attire and
is about to feed her baby.
Hey! Can I see your baby?
Dass not a baby..
Yoah know whut diss iss.
Diss is my muhnkey..An' I'm gonna feed hims
wiff hims own bottle.
Hmmm..
I see you got HIMS
dressed in HERS
dress.
I thought that was a boy
monkey, SweetCheeks.
Nope..Hims a gurhl.
Well, of course, hims is!As soon as I can muster
up the courage we get
dressed and head to the
store.
We are on the ultimate
ornament search..
The ultimate MONKEY
ornament search.
You can read all about
the sad tale
of the missing monkey here.
Today we are going
to a store that advertises
EVERY ornament
known to mankind.
I KNOW I can find
a monkey ornament there...
but...just to be on
the safe side...
I drop
SweetCheeks and her Mom
off at TJMaxx and head
next door to
PJ Collectibles..
(amazing store full
of collectibles and ornaments)
I confidently approach
the sales clerk.
I'm looking for a monkey
ornament...Nothing fancy
(I am sooo NOT paying $75.00
for a Radko monkey for
a four year old..I may
LOOK a bit daft but
I still have a few bolts
tightened in the old
nut factory)

Anyway, Ma'am
I'm looking for something
similar to this picture..
Do you have anything
like this?
Oh yeah...and, mentally
add a tutu and you
will get a close visual to what
SOMEONE
broke.
Ummmm...here let me take
you over to the zoo collection.
titter-titter-titter
I guess we don't have any
monkeys this year.
WHAT?
WHUT?
No monkeys?
No..not this year...
You have 50 gazillion ornaments
and not one flipping monkey
in the whole store?
(I said THAT whole conversation
in my head..
to myself ..
so I could pass for
a pleasant person).
Okay..Well,
Thanks anyway!
I meet Mom and SweetCheeks
and sadly shake my head.
My daughter looks at me.
Her mouth is hanging
agape in that
"You've GOT to be
kidding me" look.
Well, I say..let's head to
Target...we have already
checked out Shopko,
Walmart, Hallmark,
independents..
we are on to
Target.
Our last great,
white (and red)
hope.
SweetCheeks
settles herself into the
cart because I bribe
her with
bubblegum..
Where's that gum
I just gave you?
Welll, Nanneee..
yoah losteded it bhack
therh..
What?
I sayed yoah losteded it
bhack therh when
it dropped outta my mouff
and down through the
holes in the charrt
and yoah jus' keeped
whalkin'
OMG!
I am going to be arrested
for littering, by the
rent-a-cop..
cuz I see one coming
towards us and she
looks mean.
Hey, SweetCheeks calls.
My heart drops into my shoes.
Do yoah haff eny muhnkey
ORMANETS?
Try the Christmas aisle..
floats back..
It floats back...
because, honey, I am
moving myself right along
away from that
dreaded wad of gum
that is lying
SOMEWHERE
unknown waiting,
like a louse,
to attach itself to
a host foot.
We finally get to the
ORMANENT department.
When did Target get to
be the size of
a football stadium?
Lo and behold..
there it is..
The last one in the store.
Ohhh..
Sweetcheeks sighs..
Datt iss the one
I dreamed I wanted.
It isss 'zackly whut
I want.
SOLD!Hmmmm...
Doesn't look like a monkey
in a tutu to me...
just sayin'...
your photo name

12 comments:

Tete said...

Tutu- rubber duck- same concept. Thank goodness she had dreamed of it. LOL
I wonder who found the gum?

Debi WeeFaerie said...

Awwww I like it, it's little feet are darling! So glad you were able to find another monkey!

Anonymous said...

Duck? You see a duck there? No way, that is a Tutu if I ever saw one, it is just a duck tootoo.
Love ya sis, hope this posts, I've been having isues again, with blogs...
This is AnonyaMouse by the way....

Patty Patterson said...

I'm kind of liking the rubber ducky! It looks more monkeyish.

Anyway, I'm glad you found something that satisfies Sweet Cheeks.

Pam Kessler said...

Yeah!!! I am so happy she found exactly what she was dreaming of. Wonder who found her gum? I'm picturing some kid walking past and picking it up and popping it in his mouth.

Karen thisoldhouse2.com said...

LOLOL... oooh boy. And he really is cute, tutu or not.

If SHE can figure it out.......... said...

Oh, Ethan would really like a monkey ornament this year. One wearing a shamrock would be great. See if you can find one, eh???

Lindy said...

Love the sweet story and the new monkey ornament. We looks for frogs round here!

Donna said...

Yipee! Tar-Jay saved the day! What a cute ornament, bet SweetCheecks is happy!

Unknown said...

Yes, SweetCheeks..there is a Santa Claus after all....
You really need to do a book...

Have a Happy and Merry Christmas...

Bella's Rose Cottage said...

Hi Diana, I have been thinking about you and that monkey:-)) I am so glad you were sucessful:-)
Have a great day!
Bella

Blooming Rose Musings said...

Well, I looked in two stores and there were no monkey ornaments to be found. Thank goodness she found the monkeyducky she had always been dreaming about!
You had me laughing with your closet story because I dress in the closet with the lights off too! Maybe it's a women of a certain age thing! Very cute post!