Thursday, March 31, 2011

Magazine Mockery- The Dancers

Good Lord, Mrytle!
If you can sway with the

choir on Sunday

surely you can get

this down before the

talent show..

Now watch...

Arms out..

Left foot up..

Up! I said UP!

What's the matter with you?

Both your feet are

planted firmly on the ground!


Besides that,

you silly woman,

look at your scarf..

all the rest of us

have ours tied nice and neat..

and look at yours..

your ends are just

flying out there

for everyone to see..

AND your shirt

is unbuttoned so you

are starting to look like

a hussy!


Listen, Myrtle...

I don't want our group to get a bad name

before we even get started..

It doesn't matter to

me if we

ARE

Quintuplets...

Why do you

ALWAYS

ALWAYS

haveto be

the odd one out?


What??? I don't care if

Marlyss is turned

to one side and not in

step..

At least she has her

knee up and is

trying!


Okay- we are

gonna try this one more

time and if you don't get

it you are OUT!

You hear me?

OUT!

And don't go running

to Mama crying like

a baby like you

usually do either..

because this

time she is gonna

agree with me.

After all,

the name of our

group is

Mama Martha's Girls

and she is NOT

going to want to

be ashamed of our

performance.


Ready?

HIT IT!!!

To the advertiser-if you would like your image removed please notify me~

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

SweetCheeks And The Race

SweetCheeks!

Slow down!

Look at Baby E.

He's behind you and

he's trying to keep up

with you!I ahm slohwing dowhn..

cuz I cahn ruhn rweally, rweally fast

when I wahnt tooo..

Lookit me..

Cohme on, BabyEeefan..

I betcha cahn't catch me now. Awww...SweetCheeks..

Look~

You made BabyE feel bad

cuz he thinks you are

running away from him..

Poor little guy...

Wellll, I ahm jus' running

lihke I alwhays do and

hims can run behind me

and catch me or sumthin'.

When I wus a bay-bee I

could ruhn really fast then too..

Cuz I runned awahy frum

my sistahs..*BIG SIGH*


OhKAY! I gonna

rhun backwawrds an'

then hims cahn catch me.


Okay...that's a great idea

SweetCheeks.


Cohme ON BABY E..

I will ruhn backwawrds.. Hey! It doesn't look

like you are running backwards

to me, SweetCheeks!


Yeah- I wus jus' foolin' abhout that

parht.

I dohn't know HOW to run

backwawrds! Okay- time for BabyE to

go to bed now anyway,

SweetCheeks!

Ohkay...

Now that hims has hims

pajahamas on I'hll read

hims a bedtime sthory,

ohkay?


Yeah-

(I can only imagine the

nightmares he will have now) Time for nighty-night.

Say good night to BabyE,

SweetCheeks

and give him a kiss,

okay?


NOOO- I cahn't give

hims a kiss.

Why not?

Cuz hims a

boy and I will get boy gherms..

Just blhow me a kiss

BabyEee..

And so he did!

Another day gone...

Another piece of childhood

memory stacked for keeping...

Another day to

love these precious

children of God!


And now to get SweetCheeks

in bed..

but that is a story for

another day!

Amen.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Magazine Mockery-The Prosperous Pup

When Connie's mother

died she left

most of her fortune

to the one she

loved most....

Her dog,

Doris.


To ensure that

Doris would live a

long, and healthy,

life she selected

someone she felt

would be the perfect

companion for Doris.

Her name was

Fluffy.

Fluffy did everything

she could to please

Doris and

consulted her

on every household matter.


Personally, Fluffy did

not think the

green gingham checked

bench went with the

striped shades at all..

but it was, after all,

Doris's money now.


She has bent over

backwards to make

Doris happy.


Today she has

asked the all important

question concerning

the matter at hand..

If Doris dies first

who gets the rest

of Connie's Mother's fortune?


It was a question that

often burned in

Connie's mind too. To be continued.....

NOT!

Thank You Jayme & Nostalgic Press

Jayme over at


had a give away...

and I won!

Yes! I! Did!

If you have never visited Jayme you need to

do it NOW.

She is hysterical..

.well, I think she

is hysterical.

I think MOST people think she

is hysterical.

Ever watched someone open up

a bee hive?

Ever watched someone make a pie?

No? Well, head over to Jayme's place..

.I hope those

were supposed to be

funny videos, Jayme ,

cuz I was laughing

near about to pee my pants!


Anyway, below you will see

the lovely cards

that Nostalgic Press produces.

They are lovely.

They are on fine quality paper

and the colors are

bright and beautiful.

Because I won

I got to pick a package of note cards..

big decision considering

all the choices I had!I finally settled on

a sweet little card

that just says

HELLO!

Now, I must say

I scanned these

in and the scanner

washed all the color out...but

they are bright and beautiful.

Just click on the

cards above and

it will take you to their site.

Thank you ladies! I love them!



They had me at


Hello!;>)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

SweetCheeks And MamasBoy

Nana~

Lookit Uncle MamasBoy..

Hims got hims glasses on

in the house!

Why does hims have

them on inside?

Cuz he's crazy, SweetCheeks,

that's why!

Yeah..

Hims ISS crahzy!


Hey..

Uncle MamasBoy~

Yohu arhe crahzy yohu know..

eefvan Nana sayed you arhe crazy..

And, Uncle MamasBoy...

How's youhr wiife?

You mean your AuntieA?

Yeah...

Youhr wife

you silly head!

He's just carazhy,

isn't hims, Nana?

(Uncle MamasBoy is staring

at her cuz she has struck his

funny bone- She IS HIM

at that age-Two peas in a pod)

The he notices something

kind of scary~

Holy Cow! SweetCheeks!

How did you get that great

big bruise on your arm?

That looks awful!

Nana- Tehll him thass a


TATT TOOO.


And isss a REAL TATT TOOO!


Hims thinks itss a bruise...pfffttt!This makes MamasBoy


laugh at his funny little niece.


Issss not funnneee, Uncle MamasBoy!


I doan't like it when you laff at me!


Nana-


Tell him to go hohme nhow


cuz he makes my head hurrtt!!


Yeah...SweetCheeks!


He made my head hurt for 18 years....


and now I can send him home to


make his wife's head hurt...


God bless my daughter-in-law.


And God bless MamasBoy


who brings as much joy to


others as an adult


as SweetCheeks does


in her childhood innocence.


I am beyond blessed~


~Amen~

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Magazine Mockery- He Cut Her Off

The last magic act
that Roger and Connie
performed together
did not go well.
It did not go well
at all.
Now Connie,
who had been the
perfect magician's assistant,
was only half the woman
she used to be.
When he started the
act she tried to tell him
that she wasn't
ready but he had
already started sawing..
It made her sick
just to think
about it.
Feeling guilty,
he had sent her
to all the specialists
in the world
to no avail.
Now,
she preferred to spend
her time in the
healing waters of
Maugoo-Maugoo Bay.
The locals
claimed
this waterfall pool
produced many miracles.
Sometimes when she
looked down
she could almost
swear she saw legs..
but then would realize
that it was only a
mirage.
She was certainly hoping
for a miracle
because she was getting
tired of pushing herself
around on the skateboard
that Roger had rigged
up for her.
The worst part was that
he had a new
assistant and
she was sure
there was a whole
different type of
magic happening
while she was
away.

To the advertiser-if you would like your ad removed please notify me

Friday, March 25, 2011

SweetCheeks Is Full....

She's full all right-
full of blarney..
and other
devilish tricks..
But, today,
we are talking about
FOOD~
As you can see
SweetCheeks
ate her meatballs first
and then worked on her
(the best ever)
and green beans..Lulu, on the other hand,
ate her green beans
first and then,
methodically,
ate her mac and cheese
then her meatballs
in that order.

Ria, sweet little Ria,

doesn't eat much of anything.

She eats everything,

but not much of it.

I never make my grandkids

"clean their plates".

I find that most kids

know when they are full..

and making them eat

MORE THAN that

POSSIBLY

sets them up for

a love/hate relationship

with food....or......

eating disorders,

and makes them

dread mealtime.

Each, and every, girl

announced that they

were too full to eat

another bite.

We cleaned up after

our meal and the girls

dressed for the evening....

2 brides and

the Princess...

They said they were

TOO FULL!

However, when Papa

pulled out his

secret stash

of these....

3 sets of eyes

brightened up.

Hey...SweetCheeks..

I thought you were

FULL????

I ahm full..but Ih'm full

of reggyoular food

but nott doughnuts...

cuz doughnuts are my

fhavorhite.

Ih'll share mine with Lulu....Look...we cahn each

haff ouhr owhn cuz therhe are

threehe donuts and

threehe gurls...

Look...we arhe so fhull

they arhe cohming right outta

our moufths!

Seerreeusly, Nana!

Seriously? Hmmmm...

Maybe we should just put them

away if you are so full?

Noh...Ih'm jusss' kiddin'..

Hey...Nana..

What?

Arhe there eny more lefft~

Cuz that one sinked down

to my toes and I cahn

haff another one now.

Really?

Seereeeously, Nana!

Let me check...

Nope-all gone!

Seereeeusly, Nana...

yohu are nott effen funny!

(pffft...maybe I'm not funny

but I know someone who IS~

and I'll let you guess who that might be)

Did you pick out SweetCheeks favorite

new word? Seeerreeeusly, did you?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Magazine Mockery-A Different Kind Of Birthday

Connie's mother tried
to warn her the
night before the
wedding that once
she married into
the
Jolly Green Giant
family things would
be different ...
especially
once they had kids.
Connie's
Mother-in-law,
Grenella Sprout
took right over
soon after the
first baby boy was born.
For his third birthday
they had
corn on the cob,
brussel sprouts,
green beans and
peas.
This delicious meal
was followed up by
the most
spectacular cupcakes
Connie had ever seen.
After dinner,
Connie excused herself from
the festivities and
called her Mother,
sobbing softly,
to apologize for
not believing her
the day of her wedding.

WOW!!! Wisconsin Welcomes Spring!!!

Today is March 23, 2011
Spring Has Sprung!
Here is the street that
I take to get to
STARBUCKS
after work....
This is what it looked like today~
Beautiful huh?
Don't you just love
Spring In Wisconsin?
Huh?
Do you have anything that
looks like this at
YOUR HOUSE?
At dusk last night
the playhouse looked
like this...
Now at 4pm CST
it looks like this...
I guess we won't be playing out
there today, will we?
No?

Well, then...

How about a bit of alfresco dining

on the patio off the dining room?

Would you like iced tea or coffee?

Your choice!

Mind you don't put
your mukluks up
on the good chairs-
I just recovered them.
Happy, Happy
Spring!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

SweetCheeks-American Idol-Second TryOut

As you know...
Earlier on
SweetCheeks made it
through the first round
If you missed it..
well..you missed
a smile!

She called herself
Rose
and sang her way
to a ticket to
Hollywood.

Now, she must
do her best to try
and make it through to
the Final Round.
Her "story" has
changed a bit from
Round One.
I think I like this one
even better.
Hello...Young Lady..
Tell us your name
and tell us about yourself.
Wehlll...mhy name is
Rose!
(At least the name has
stayed the same)
and I liffve wiff my
Nana & my Papa..
My Papa is verrrrhy old
but him drived me all the way
heerh in his oldd buss
an we doan't haff enouff to eat
sumtimes and I doan't know
where my otther famley iss..
But I reeelly lovffe to sing!
What are you going to sing for
us today, Rose?
I haff my own liddle peeano and
I gonna play it and my
TWIN SISTAH, RAINBOW,
is gonna sing backup.
Ready?
HIT IT RAINBOW!OH NO!
Whatever is the matter, SweetCheeks?
I mean, uh, Rose?
My bhackup singarh is laying down
and hers woun't hellp me
wiff my addition!
Look...there she is jus' layin' therhe!!!
It's okay, Rose...
Your back up singer won't
be able to go to Hollywood
with you anyway...
So...just go ahead and sing..
I gonna drum too!
Great..
HIT IT-
(to the invisible back up band)
My Papa is oldd and hims just
sittin' here whatching me sing
dis song and hims drives
an old buss and him rubs
my Nana's feet sumtimes..
and yestuhday when hims
wus wurking and I sett next
to himmm...himms smelled
like an old farhm animal...
(and just for your own knowledge-
we do NOT live on a farm...
nor do we have animals-hmmm)
An' thass my song....

How'd I do, juddgess?
Hmmm...Well, you had kind
of a rough start because of
your back up singer..
but you overcame that and
did really good! It's a Yes
from me...(Nana)
Thanhk you!
Papa?
You got a yess from
me-even if you said I smelled bad..
you sang pretty good and
I love the way you played your drum...
Thanhk you!
Rainbow?
(who has moved from Twin sister
to judge-thru the magic of childhood)
Rainbow?
Hmmm...well, you sang off key
and I don't know that song..
You get a NO from me!
Dusn't matter! Dusn't matter!
I got
TWO YESSESSS
AN' I
AM THRU TO THE
FINAL SHOW
in HOLLEEWOOD!
YAAAYYY FOR ME!!!
I MADE IT TO HOLLEEWOOD!!!!
I can hardly wait
for the final show!
I'm thinking of filming it..
cuz I'm sure you won't believe it~
I don't know if I will
believe it myself!
Actually,
I am thinking of taking
the SweetCheeks act
on the road.
She is a one-woman show!

Monday, March 21, 2011

SweetCheeks-Starbucks-Swords

It was a half-day of
school for SweetCheek's sisters.
Her older sister, Lulu,
went home with a friend.
SweetCheeks dear little
voice on the phone
asked me if I was
working this day.
I wasn't..
Well, do youh wahnt to
cohme to Stahrbucks fohr
sum coffee er sumthin'?
I sure do!
I am on my way!
When I get there
Ria has her
Vanilla Steamer
and SweetCheeks
has her organic
chocolate milk.
SweetCheeks is shivering
because she took her
sweater off and the
milk is cold...just like the weather.
The girls are sharing
a breakfast sandwich
which is protected by
a pile of swords.
Now I know that looks like
a pile of paper shavings
to you---but those are
SWORDS-
Trust me on this....
You can read about WHY
we need swords in Starbucks
We tell SweetCheeks
NO MORE SWORDS..
It makes a mess...
Soon, we look over and
see this~
The Sword Gatherer

Never one to miss an

opportunity to tattle

on a sister, Ria, the

soft-spoken sweetheart

says..

Nana, Do you see what

SweetCheeks is doing?

She is getting more swords..

and, Nana...those aren't

REALLY SWORDS anyway!

You told her not to get anymore,

RIGHT? *sigh*

Right-o- I am now trapped into

discipline!!!

SweetCheeks...What are you doing?

Huh? What are you doing? NOTTHHING!

Really? You aren't getting more swords,

are you?

No...they iss nott swhords enyways, Nana..

They iss jus' sum old paphar or sumthin..

Well, leave them there!

I amhm leaffing them hehre!Who telled yohu I wuz gehtting morah swhords?

I thought you said you

WEREN'T getting more swords!?!

There is no response to that

statement/query...

Ria? Ria? Did youh tell Nana?

The quiet one knows when to stay quiet.

She just stares at SweetCheeks..

No????....Good..I knhew you wouldn't tehll

cuz youh are my best fwriend~See the eyes? The eyes say it all!

It is now MY secret...

MY SECRET to carry....

because how can you

let someone know that their

"best friend" has betrayed them...

I just can't do it because

there is nothing like

sisterly love, is there?

Sunday, March 20, 2011

A Little Irish- A Little Late

Do you ever wonder what
others see when they are
standing at their kitchen window?
As you know, I don't usually
do a post about "things".
I usually post about my
grandkids
or write a quick
Magazine Mockery..
cuz I like making fun
of all the ad men
campaigns.
But today,
as I was standing at my
kitchen window I looked
over and saw this....
and this....
which are both part of this.
This window faces dead West
so it is always bright here.
If you peek through the
glass you will see the
girls' playhouse
in the background.
Closed now for the winter,
it will soon be open
for Spring business...
the business of dress-up
and make-believe.

But for the moment,
I am content to look at
my
Shamrock plants..
because they remind me
of home and the Irish
heritage that came
from my father's side
of the family.

I am then inspired to bring
out my beautiful vase
that my daughter purchased while
she was in Ireland...
and the little
Irish music box..
Can it be a music box
if there is no box involved?
hmmmm..
Something to ponder~

And then there is my

compote dish...one of my

favorite pieces I have ever owned...She's a beauty, isn't she?

Covered with shamrocks and

kissed by gold accents...A piece that makes me

smile every time I look at her....Now- you tell me-

how is it that the French can

make such a beautifully inspired

IRISH piece? Huh?To the right of the kitchen

dinette is this little wall..

a place to hold a wee bit

of Irish canvas...

And I look past it-

out the window and I

see this!
I know it may look a bit

bleak to you...but to me

there is promise in this view.

Promise that Spring is coming..

because the snow has melted off

and there is lots of ice showing..

and soon it will melt and we will

have open water...

Open water! I can hardly wait!

And neither can SweetCheeks!