Little Lulu-Literally

Little Miss Literal was looking a bit sad and woe-be-gone the other day. "Lulu, are you blue today?" I asked her. "No, Nana-I’m human colored!" Okaaaayyy then.....I forgot how very literal this child is.

One day she is riding along with TPot who is cruising stations on the radio. If you have ever ridden with someone like this you know that you would like to beat them. Sadly, the law prevents it. Oooohhh..listen it’s a preacher on the radio....He intones at the end of his sermon (which we have been privy to catch the tail end of-thank you very much, TPot). He intones- "Without God we are but dust." We hear a stricken intake of breath in the backseat. "What’s the matter, Lulu?’ comes the unified question. "Oh no!" What? What is it? What is wrong...we are fearing the worst, of course...you know...wet pants....spilled milk....gum stuck in her hair....spilled milk....ink on the seat...spilled milk...oh, wait, I already said that, didn’t I?".. What’s wrong? Qaveringly she asks..."What is BUTT dust?" What? WHAT? What are you talking about? "Well, the guy on the radio says that without God we are BUTT dust!" I am stricken with laughter that bubbles up and flows out of my mouth before I can cover it up. TPot has spewed her Starbucks (oh-so-expensive -but-ever-so-good coffee out through her nose). Suspiciously, from the back seat, comes the dreaded (and oft repeated) question...."WHAT’S SO FUNNY?" TPot pretends she is coughing (which provides her with an excuse not to answer) As for me, my stomach aches from holding back the hysterical laughter that is trying to push it’s way up and out. . I give her the standard answer that every parent/grandparent uses to cover up every laugh at the child’s expense- "Nothing’s funny"- I start praying (quietly and to myself)...please, God, pleeeeease, don’t let her ask that again.

By now, however, she has become distracted by something out the window. "Hey look," she cries, Why is that dog walking that man?

You know what I think? I can’t wait until she starts dating and the first guy asks her for a kiss. Knowing her she will say, "Yes" and reach into her purse and pull out one of Hershey’s finest inventions ever-tinfoil covered and melt-in-your-mouth good- The Hershey Kiss~Yep- that’s what I am thinking~