PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR DENTIST-The one that discovered John's cancer

Our dentist,

BOB WAGNER

is the one that discovered John's tumor.

Had Bob not called the house to follow up,

John would not have sought treatment

until it was too late to be curable.

We owe Bob a big debt of gratitude.

Yeah- I know he's not much to look at-bwhahahaha-

The disgusting thing is we have all aged and he has 

looked the same for about a hundred years.

Sadly, his wife has not aged either....

must be all that laughing gas they inhale after

office hours?

He is not only our dentist- he is our friend.

Our friendship dates back many years.

We have laughed and cried and 

prayed together over the years.

Bob is one of the most caring,

concerned people we know-

always there with a prayer 

for someone.

Now he needs prayers because

he is having some 

serious surgery tomorrow.

He went in for a calcium scoring-

a routine test to check for plaque 

in the veins and arteries.

Thank goodness he went because 

they discovered an aortic aneurysm.

He will have several weeks of recovery

after surgery.

That will probably be the hardest

part for Bob because he is not

prone to 'sitting'.

I was lucky enough 

to get in for a filling

earlier today.

Whew!

I'd hate having to look into a new face

while someone was 

drilling holes in my head teeth
plus no one can expound on 
politics quite like Bob
when you are a captive audience
and can't say a word.

Please pray for a successful surgery,
the hands of the surgeons and medical staff,

an uncomplicated recovery,

and a return to perfect health.

Also, pray for his wife and family

to have peace of mind and know

that Bob is in good hands-

on Earth and in Heaven.

If you are not inclined to pray,

please send him and his family

your best wishes.

Thanks so much.

I will have an update on MyHero

in a day or so.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIRTY GIRL---BEFORE AND AFTER!! Here's MUD in your eye!

I haven't been posting much

since MyHero was stricken with cancer.

However,

I HAVE TO SHARE THIS.

Remember the times you got your kids

all dressed up cute for a special occasion?

AND then let them play for just a few minutes!

So cute as she examines her well-used mower

in her special little smocked dress.

AND THEN

YOU RAN TO THE BATHROOM!

When you came out of the bathroom

THIS was standing against the garage door....

And once inside

it looked like 

THIS!

Happy Birthday,

Dirty Girl!

Your Nana loves you to the moon and back!

End of the first POST-TREATMENT WEEK & Happy Birthday Bright Eyes!!!!

I know not all of you follow me on

FB or are able to access

The Caring Bridge.

so I am going to copy and paste 

my journal entry here

for those of you 

that don't have access to that site.

Happy Friday!
John had a very long week.  His throat is raw inside and out and he feels miserable overall.

We had our final 'follow-up' visit with Dr. Kevin Mortara, the oncologist this morning.  Let me say here that he is a high-quality person.  An intelligent caring man that is encouraging while still bringing reality to the table  We like him for his optimism, but also for his honesty.  He did not say- You are going to be great in a couple of weeks.  He did tell John that he believes this is the "low point" post-treatment. 
 
John has a long, hard battle ahead of him.  While the treatments have ended, now comes the reality of recovery.  Dr. Mortara says 6 - 8 weeks--more like 12 weeks.  We were told that John has done exceptionally well during his treatment.  He followed directions just as they were given and, as a result, it appears that treatment has been successful.  We will know more in early June when they do a final PET scan.  Although John still has a couple of nodules on his lungs they do not feel they are anything to be concerned about at this point.  If they are---well, we will cross THAT bridge when we come to it.  At this point, we are believing there is not another bridge to cross....except the one to good health.

John does fight taking "drugs".  He is so opposed to taking anything that is opiate based that it was hard to get him to accept the fact that morphine might offer him the only relief possible.  Nothing else has worked.  When his pain level reached a 5 (on a scale of 1 to 10) he finally allowed me to administer morphine.  The results were almost immediate and he slept for 5+ hours.  It was the longest uninterrupted sleep he has had since this started last fall. I closed my eyes and thanked the DRUG PUSHERS (known as doctor and pharmacist) that enabled John to find relief-even for a finite amount of time.

We are continuing to go into the cancer center for hydration 2 or 3 times a week.  This will most likely continue for a while.  John has not been able to swallow and I can only put so much water into his feeding tube before he feels bloated and miserable.  IV hydration is the answer for him.  It is about a two hour session in a big comfortable chair with warm blankets and a bright window. 

See this cute little Irish colleen?

The bright spot today is that our little Anna Ireland is TWO YEARS OLD TODAY
Her mom put a sweet little birthday dress on her and she went out to mow the lawn.  That's my girl!  
What a blessing she is in our lives---as are all our grandkids.

I hope you all have a beautiful wonderful weekend. 
 
I will leave you with the last words Dr. Mortara said to us today---"I would encourage you to live each day to the fullest.  Look at each day as if it is the only day you might have because life is uncertain, and you never know what tomorrow might bring." 

 
That is one smart man!

AND THAT is my new mantra!

Blessings and love to you all- Diana

An Update On MyHero. His Last Radiation Treatment has been completed.

This is a copy and paste from The Caring Bridge.

I am posting it here for those of you that 

aren't able to access the Caring Bridge.

This has been a very rough few days for John.   

I think that he thought once the last radiation treatment was over that he would feel better.  The truth is he feels worse at this point.
      
Coming out of the last radiation treatment, his neck was openly bleeding.  We had seen bits of blood in the past but this was much more pronounced.   
It was like something 'broke loose' at this last session and the secretions he has been experiencing seemed to double. He is also coughing up a bit of blood from the trauma to his throat.  You can imagine how miserable that is with not being able to swallow.  He has also been very nauseous for the last several days.
     
Dr. Pan, the radiologist,  insisted that he have 2 hours of hydration after his treatment.  His weight, which had been holding pretty steady after the first big drop, took a dive and he dropped several more pounds in the past week.  Cancer is a calorie burner and it has exacted its toll.
     
He sleeps in snatches and wakes up in the middle of the night.  There is an 'aloness' in illness.  No matter how much someone cares for you they can observe, but not really enter, your realm.  It is a fight you have to claim and tackle yourself.  Outside support is great,  but the inner spirit is what needs to be stoked.  Once stoked it can burn through uncertainty, fear and anxiety.  John has called on God daily to see him through this battle. While his Bible has been a great comfort to him during trials and tribulations in his life, there are days when he is unable to read; unable to concentrate long enough for the words to make sense.  At that point, he relies on prayer and knows that God is protecting him in his lowest moments.
     
 Overall, he just feels ill and miserable. However, that being said, we are looking forward to days and weeks down the road. We hope that by next week this time he will feel a marked improvement and he will be able to smile when I put on my Nurse Ratched uniform and force feed him
.   
See this picture?  During these times you look forward to the small things that bring you joy.  This is our youngest son's little boy, CJK.  My son and his wife, along with his sister, her kids and a couple of cousins, attended the Shriner's Circus last weekend.  At the end of the show they announced that someone in the audience had a sticker inside their program for a special surprise.  Guess who it was?  Our little grandson!   He won a BIKE from Toys-R-Us.    He could pick out a bike of his choice and a matching helmet, training wheels, whatever he wanted.  He found a snazzy blue Schwinn bike with a matching helmet.  What a lucky little guy! 

We are lucky, too.  We are lucky to have family that is connected in our lives.
      
After this whole process is over I think we need to get a THREE WHEELER for MyHero  too.  One of those bikes like they use in Florida --I am thinking a little horn on the front with a basket for his groceries and a matching beanie would be nice!  I'll have to see if I can find one online.  Wouldn't that be a nice surprise for him?

Thank you for dropping in to read.  

If you don't have time to leave a comment, 

don't worry about it.  

We 'know' you care and love you for just being here.  

A Quck Update on MyHero- One More Day Of Treatment Left!

Hi Everyone~

This is short and sweet (or not so sweet).

I copied and pasted it from

The Caring Bridge site.

THIS is the SWEET!

This is the
NOT SO SWEET!

John has had a really rough week.  He is sick and sore.

The nausea medicine does not always work so he has had several days when he has been nauseated.  

Try to imagine vomiting when you can't swallow because your throat is so swollen and sore.

 

He is tired and sleeping quite a bit of the time.  

That is good because it is an escape from the reality of what he is going through.

The skin on his neck is burned and sloughing off.  There is a prescription salve that he puts on that helps keep the pain at bay.

The salve, combined with the fentanyl patch keeps his pain at a tolerable level.

We do have liquid morphine that I can administer for break-through pain if needed.

This upcoming Monday will be his last radiation treatment.   We will no longer have to make daily trips to the cancer center.

After Monday, we will go once a week to check -in for the next several weeks.

We found out this week that he may be on a feeding tube for several months because of the severity of the damage to his throat.

That means that Nurse Ratched (me)gets to stay 'on duty' for a while.  I am a good "pusher" (mentally AND physically).

image

Even as ill as he is-- he continues to reach out to others.  Yesterday, against my better judgement, he went to 'visit' someone.

He felt the need to minister to his friend and to encourage him in the battle he is facing.

He came home exhausted but also elated because he felt like he had accomplished something with the visit.

We are taking this one step at a time and looking forward to starting the healing process after next Monday's treatment.

We will not know until the first part of June whether the treatment worked. 

 

At that point they will do a PET scan to see if there is still cancer in his neck--or if there is cancer anywhere else in his body.

Keep us in your prayers.  We need them.

See that cute little face up there?  That is our youngest granddaughter, Anna Ireland.  

She is one reason MyHero keeps fighting to get well.  She is a pure delight.

As for me- I would run away from home but that feeding tube only extends about 2-1/2 feet. Yeah-there's that!   Diana

AN UPDATE on MyHero CROSSING THE BRIDGE

image

I know that not all of you visit 

The Caring Bridge

where I do updates on John's cancer journey.

I am copying and pasting my morning post here.

You don't need to comment-

although you are welcome to do so.

However, if you only have time to read and run

that is just fine, too.

Good Morning! 

We feel like we are crossing a bridge.  It's an old rickety bridge that spans the Cancer Chasm; a  bridge that has weak spots in the floorboards that could let one plunge through with a misstep. The guardrails on the sides are ineffective at best - no longer offering security as they once did.  There is nothing tangible to grab and hold onto.   It is a bridge that is not longer car worthy so you can't drive across it.  You have to walk slowly and skirt all the dangerous spots.  Sometimes you have to step on the weak spots even though you don't want to do so.  You carefully test that area before you put your full weight on it, breath a sigh of relief when it holds up under your weight, and then you carefully move forward to the next safe spot.  You don't look down because you don't want to know how far you have to fall--so you look straight ahead to the goal on the other side  and you look up to the heavens for help.

John has worked his way almost all the way across the bridge.  He has dealt with nausea, pain, burning, anxiety, fear, insomnia, exhaustion, weight loss, inability to swallow, frustration and all around discomfort. 

He has dealt with all those pitfalls admirably with determination and resolve.  He has been able to manage his nausea and pain with medications (most of the time).  He has learned to let me feed him and not complain about having to take 'one more Liquid Refreshment' (which most of you would call Ensure or something similar). At this point he sleeps quite a bit of the time.  It is hard for him to talk and concentrate so he is no longer visiting with people.  He has chemo brain (which he will deny so then you KNOW he has it) 

His biggest strength, of course, comes from the Lord.  He is in constant prayer-not only for himself but for others around him.  He prays for our kids and grandkids so that they can deal with the changes in Dad/Papa.  He prays for me (that I won't poison him when he is in a snit).  I have told him he is not allowed to touch the attendant during feeding time (me)-no matter how bad the jokes are.  Sometimes I can still get a smile out of him. 
  
He prays for the people we see at Bellin Cancer Center.  Some of the people we see there will not be cured and it is heartbreaking.  When this is all over he hopes to return to his position as a chaplain.  Although he has always prayed for people in the hospital, and felt sympathy for them, he now has a whole new understanding of the full range of emotions they experience. 

We are on the COUNTDOWN TO THE CURE here. We have one more week and one more day of treatment.  We feel like we can see the safe ground on the other side of that rickety old bridge. 

We thank you for all your prayers and good thoughts.  They have bolstered us on this journey. 

Have a wonderful weekend- Diana ps.  When I hit safe ground I am getting into a convertible and speeding away...and if MyHero is NICE to me I MAY take him with me!  Anyone got one of those police radar devices I can borrow? 

image

A VERY QUICK UPDATE ON MY HERO!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!!

THANK YOU!!!

Thank you for all your prayers!

His lung scan came back today.

 The small 'spots' are gone.

 The other spots remain unchanged

 so are most likely old scar tissue. 

 That is a huge relief

It means he can continue the treatment 

as it is outlined.

However, he has moved to 

a new stage of pain level.

 Please keep him in your prayers

 as we move to 

a stronger pain relief medication.

 He cannot take 

some of the more common ones and,

 because he cannot swallow,

 he can't take the time released ones.

 He will move to a pain relief patch 

at this point. 

Thanks again for all your prayers!

 We believe that miracles 

often come in small doses.

 There was a good chance

 that the cancer had metastasized 

to his lungs

and it appears that has not happened.

 

Praise the Lord!

SO- Y'all are

NOT FIRED

as pray-ers!

You did good!

Very, very good!

I will keep you posted!

Nurse Ratchett signing out

for the day!

PLEASE PRAY ABOUT THE CT SCAN SCHEDULED FOR TODAY

Good Morning!

Just wanted to share a picture of

MyHero with three of his granddaughters

at the annual

Daddy/Daughter Dance 

at their school

taken last Saturday night.

This will most likely 

be his last social outing

until his treatments are completed.

Sorry for the poor quality.

It was an Iphone in the entryway-

NO MOMS (or Nana) ALLOWED!

However,

that is not the real reason for this post.

I know- I know-

I feel like I am starting to sound like

A BROKEN RECORD!

We need some prayers here.

If you are not a pray-er, please

send us well wishes.

John has a CT scan scheduled today.

There were some small spots on his lungs

when he started this whole process.

They 'think' the spots may be from

something that he inhaled

when he had the severe infection

in his neck-

or a residual effect from that infection..

If that is the case,

the spots should either be gone-

or should have remained the same.

The spots were too small to biopsy

so the CT scan is the only way

they can track them.

Please pray there are no new spots

or that the ones that are there

have not enlarged--

or best case scenario--

the spots have disappeared!

I will let you know what happens

when we get the results back.

We are hoping to hear something

by Friday.

We need to get this old boy well

so he attend some more dances 

with these sweet girls..

Also, pray he can keep his weight steady 

and even gain a bit of weight.

I don't know about most of you,

but praying to gain weight 

is not something

I have ever done!

It just kind of goes 

against the grain, doesn't it?

Okay-Now that you all have been 

so patient with me and my requests,

I want to show you something pretty special.

This is my 13 year old granddaughter, Lulu,

dressed up for her last 

Daddy/Daughter Dance

at her school.

Isn't she a beauty?

I might be a little biased-lol

I can look at her here and picture

what she might look like as a bride someday!

Here she is with her two sisters.

Ria has 2 more years of 

Daddy/Daughter Dances

and SweetCheeks has 5 years to go!

Is there anything sweeter than sisters 

laughing together?

There you have it-

another dance step in our lives.

Hmmmm...maybe the old boy will take

ME dancing when his treatment is behind him.

I think there is a special event 

coming up at the 

VETERANS CLINIC 

where I volunteer.

I've got the perfect little number!

Won't MyHero be proud to be

seen with ME in THAT?!!??!!

Thanks in advance for your prayers!

Have a wonderful, blessed day!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY and A Health Update on My Hero

Valentine's Day!

I can't believe it is 

the middle of February already!

In some ways 

the past few weeks have flown past

and in some ways

they have dragged by 

hour after excruciating hour.

However,

One day while MyHero was up and about-

I got my sewing machine out.

I used to sew special things for 

Tara's little girls

so I thought it was time to sew 

SOMETHING SPECIAL

for little miss

BRIGHT EYES!

How cute is she?

The quality is not great.

It is an Iphone picture sent to me.

I guess she stole the show at her 

big brother's 

VALENTINE DAY at school!

Imagine that!!!!

She carries that 

BITTY BABY 

with her everywhere.

Of course, Bitty Baby had to have a 

MATCHING OUTFIT!

See the doll above?

SweetCheeks used to torture it by 

carrying it around with its head tucked

under her arm.

Only ONE EYE works!

Kinda scary looking 

when you lay her down flat!

(the doll-not SweetCheeks-lol)

Bright Eyes and Bitty Baby

both got matching underpants, too!

Sure do wish they lived closer

so we had more hands on

with her and her brothers.

That being said,

I am so thankful for kids 

that stay in touch

and that we can

FACETIME with them!

MyHero Update:

He is doing well.

Just finished Week 4!

He is halfway through at this point.

Our understanding is that each week will get

progressively harder on him.

We now have the feeding tube down to a science.

In the beginning he did it by himself.

It took at least an hour and was kind of a mess.

Working together 

we have a nice little game

we call

FEED THE ZOO ANIMAL!

We can do an entire meal for him in about 

fifteen minutes start to finish.

I do the cooking ahead of time and have it all

blended, pulverized and ready to 

HEAT AND EAT shove down the tube.

Hey!  At least he can't complain about my cooking.

Everything "tastes" the same to him.

I could feed him ANYTHING and he would

not know the difference!

Leftovers?  NO PROBLEM!

See--even in adversity there are bonuses!

He is feeling pretty good most of the time.

His throat is quite sore but he manages

the pain with just Tylenol at this point.

(that in itself is a blessing)

He has not suffered from nausea very often 

and that, too, is controlled by the medication.

All in all,

we are doing well.

We thank you for your prayers 

and good thoughts.

I hope you have a wonderful

VALENTINE'S DAY 

and that you have someone else in your life

so you can share the love that is in your heart!

As for me?

I won't be eating any chocolate today

in front of MyHero!

A QUICK REMINDER ABOUT FASTING--

This is for those of you that

asked for a reminder to

FAST TODAY.

Click HERE to read more.

I know the fast was started for

John (MyHero) and myself

BUT 

please add my friend, Gert, 

to your prayers.

She lost her dear husband, Tom,

 on Saturday

If you are not a pray-er-

please send your best wishes 

for those that are fasting.

Also, please add my friend, Laura,
to your prayers.
She is now seeking some alternate
treatments for her cancer
because the chemo has stopped working.

I believe in miracles!

Thanks to all of you

that participate in 

ANY WAY--

even just by sending good thoughts!