I know that not all of you visit
where I do updates on John's cancer journey.
I am copying and pasting my morning post here.
You don't need to comment-
although you are welcome to do so.
However, if you only have time to read and run
that is just fine, too.
Good Morning!
We feel like we are crossing a bridge. It's an old rickety bridge that spans the Cancer Chasm; a bridge that has weak spots in the floorboards that could let one plunge through with a misstep. The guardrails on the sides are ineffective at best - no longer offering security as they once did. There is nothing tangible to grab and hold onto. It is a bridge that is not longer car worthy so you can't drive across it. You have to walk slowly and skirt all the dangerous spots. Sometimes you have to step on the weak spots even though you don't want to do so. You carefully test that area before you put your full weight on it, breath a sigh of relief when it holds up under your weight, and then you carefully move forward to the next safe spot. You don't look down because you don't want to know how far you have to fall--so you look straight ahead to the goal on the other side and you look up to the heavens for help.
We feel like we are crossing a bridge. It's an old rickety bridge that spans the Cancer Chasm; a bridge that has weak spots in the floorboards that could let one plunge through with a misstep. The guardrails on the sides are ineffective at best - no longer offering security as they once did. There is nothing tangible to grab and hold onto. It is a bridge that is not longer car worthy so you can't drive across it. You have to walk slowly and skirt all the dangerous spots. Sometimes you have to step on the weak spots even though you don't want to do so. You carefully test that area before you put your full weight on it, breath a sigh of relief when it holds up under your weight, and then you carefully move forward to the next safe spot. You don't look down because you don't want to know how far you have to fall--so you look straight ahead to the goal on the other side and you look up to the heavens for help.
John has worked his way almost all the way across the bridge. He has dealt with nausea, pain, burning, anxiety, fear, insomnia, exhaustion, weight loss, inability to swallow, frustration and all around discomfort.
He has dealt with all those pitfalls admirably with determination and resolve. He has been able to manage his nausea and pain with medications (most of the time). He has learned to let me feed him and not complain about having to take 'one more Liquid Refreshment' (which most of you would call Ensure or something similar). At this point he sleeps quite a bit of the time. It is hard for him to talk and concentrate so he is no longer visiting with people. He has chemo brain (which he will deny so then you KNOW he has it)
His biggest strength, of course, comes from the Lord. He is in constant prayer-not only for himself but for others around him. He prays for our kids and grandkids so that they can deal with the changes in Dad/Papa. He prays for me (that I won't poison him when he is in a snit). I have told him he is not allowed to touch the attendant during feeding time (me)-no matter how bad the jokes are. Sometimes I can still get a smile out of him.
He prays for the people we see at Bellin Cancer Center. Some of the people we see there will not be cured and it is heartbreaking. When this is all over he hopes to return to his position as a chaplain. Although he has always prayed for people in the hospital, and felt sympathy for them, he now has a whole new understanding of the full range of emotions they experience.
We are on the COUNTDOWN TO THE CURE here. We have one more week and one more day of treatment. We feel like we can see the safe ground on the other side of that rickety old bridge.
We thank you for all your prayers and good thoughts. They have bolstered us on this journey.
Have a wonderful weekend- Diana ps. When I hit safe ground I am getting into a convertible and speeding away...and if MyHero is NICE to me I MAY take him with me! Anyone got one of those police radar devices I can borrow?
88 comments:
Diana, I have held my tears and breathe till now...Sorry, I could not hold them any longer. I am still holding all of you up in prayer, but I am crying as I do it.Ok? May God be there for you, John and your family.Love all of you, Susie
Sending hugs to both of you.
Diana I pray you both find the safe spots and that the last days go by with some ease. I know many people are praying for you and your family xox ♡
Its what is waiting for you at the end of the rickity old bridge that makes the journey across it worthwhile . MAY GOD BLESS YOU BOTH AS YOU MAKE THE JOURNEY ACROSS.
Its what is waiting for you at the end of the rickity old bridge that makes the journey across it worthwhile . MAY GOD BLESS YOU BOTH AS YOU MAKE THE JOURNEY ACROSS.
Beautifully written, Diana. Continued prayers for John and for you.
Love,
Jackie
Beautiful, Diana! You are such a light, so full of positive zip! God bless you both. John is such a cool guy as I have been discovering while reading the bridge posts.
You're both my Heroes today, and your light is shining way over here.
As you take these remaining steps on that necessary, scary bridge, I know you can feel the prayers, so you're both Lifted and Carried to healing and strength.
r
You are both an inspiration. Prayers and hugs to you and your dearest.
Beautiful, Diana! May God Bless you both as John's healing journey continues.
You are a wonderful writer, Diana! I love the analogy between this cancer journey and the wooden bridge! - xo Nellie
Beautiful written, Diana. Hugs to you and prayers for both of you.
You are so wonderfully brave, my Dear.
Best wishes for your husband.
And many, many gentle hugs, for you....
Hugs and I am glad to see you taking one day at a time. Prayers being sent.
Not long now and you will be safely through the treatment with your Hero. Such a journey. Prayers for the two of you.
This is so beautifully written Diana and it made me cry for all you two have been through. I want you to know how I think of you in this care-giving stage you're in and hope that you are caring for yourself as well. It takes so much out of a person and I know that many care-givers go through their own let-down and can become depressed or anxious from the stress of it...so please take care of yourself my dear friend.
Still praying...
Your description of John's cancer journey in crossing the crickety old bridge makes us understand even more. What a visual. God bless you and John, Diana! Hugs and prayers, still! I don't have a police radar device, but I can run decoy for you. You know how the HP likes to stop me.
I am walking the bridge with Linda, but I am not ready to reach the other side. You know what I am talking about. Hope John is using Aquaphor or something similar on his burn. I am so glad your journey is nearing the end.
Hugs,
Deb
A beautiful post. I am keeping you both in my prayers! xo
Diana, I prayer for you two every day. I know what you are both going through, to a degree as I have been there. I do hope that this will be over soon and that John will be back to normal. :) If you are referring to the burns from radiation, I used alevra gel. I didn't spell that right. Non alcohol non scented. I worked great.
Please make sure that you take care of yourself. When you can come by here to pick me up when you get your convertible , ok? I could use a break....a longggggg one. :)
Prayes and hugs, Janet W
Well, dear Diana and your wonderful husband John, your words brought back SO many memories from my time with cancer and chemo and radiation. I am so grateful for your words describing your NOW time because the end of the chemo journey seems to last so long. It takes a couple of months after treatments finish to regain a sense of feeling somewhat better and then it does happen gradually, one can enjoy meals with some appetite, can take easy walks, use the bathroom (that is a big deal) without thinking about it and start to pull one's life back together. I noticed that I was not the same person as I was before (ruler of the roost, only person who could ... etc), I am more selective on what I plan to do, I do conserve my energy for essentials and I rest and relax and nap more than before. I let others help or take over too. Sending prayers for John and yourself and all those who work with you both and sending love too.
Joy
As a cancer survivor, what I want to say to you is that the caregivers are the blessed. I was so grateful for all my caregivers, the nasty things they had to do and endure, the endless, thankless jobs. I am praying for all of you right now, in this place, for peace and comfort. Hugs.
A perfect description! I am so proud of both of you ~ you've been amazing in this journey. It's never easy and it's one day at a time ~ sometimes 10 minutes at a time! God has heard our prayers and is watching over you. He will provide strength and healing for John and a FL vacation for you. j/k :) If he chooses not to run away with you when all of this is over, I'll ride shotgun!
Seriously, I pray for his healing daily and strength for the both of you.
Much love,
Pat
My dear Diana, Girl I hope you know how much I love you, but really you had to title the post Crossing the Bridge-I want to smack you upside the head. Crossing the Bridge to many of us(especially pet owners)means passing away and you scared the whits out of me. I'm so thankful your man is just going across the Cancer Bridge-not that I'm happy about that, but you get my meaning. It's almost over and before you know it, he'll be up and around chasing you around the room. Sending love your way and warning to not scare me like this again!
Noreen
Beautifully written, Diana! It brought tears to my eyes. You're so strong and a constant through all of this. Your convertible is there waiting for the two of you. It won't be too much longer! Blessings!
I understand what you are writing, your words touch my heart. I know cancer touches so many families, as it has yours and mine also. Our son 16 years ago this month, at age 34, was not able to reach the end of the bridge. I pray that John will, and I pray for you and the strength that you both need at this time. May God continue to watch over you and John.
Oh, Diana! Bless John's heart and I'm so glad he's nearing the end of all the treatments and each day I'm praying for strength and complete healing. I'm praying for his nurse too! :) I'll be waiting for a post on the convertible ride!
Blessings,
Shelia ;)
Bless you both! I just feel that all will be well. My continued prayers. Don't take the time to reply to me. Just catch your breath instead. ❤️ Sheila
My husband and I are just starting over that bridge. He had a cancerous tumor removed from his bladder, had 3 transfusions and now is going to have more surgery to make sure the cancer is out of his bladder. He is going to have more test on other things that are to be removed soon and I pray that they won't be cancerous because he will then lose a kidney. I pray for your husband and will remember your family in my prayers.
What a beautiful post, Diana. Sending prayers to you both and if I had a convertible, I would send that along, too, my friend. xoxo
The description of what your dear husband is going through/has gone through is so poignant. The tears flowed but then my smiles came as well. You have such a great writing style that I'm sure is a mirror of your personality.
God bless you both and continue to hold you close.
Oh Diana, I'm sending prayers for you all and pray that your husband will be healed!
Thank you for the update and continued prayers for your beloved, you and the family! Your posts are a blessing to me.
warmly,
deb
I got the convertible and the newest radar machine:) ya'll are welcome to borrow both~!!!
prayers and love headed your way..
Hi Diana
I'm glad that the end of that ol' bridge is near. You both are such troupers and deserve a nice getaway in your convertible! Better yet, how about if you and I take off in it?? Take care, keeping you in my prayers. Love you!
I am glad this was filled with some good news, at first I was holding my breath! We can all chip in to get one of those radar things, but the car might have to be a Barbie mobile LOL
Hugs, Roxy
I am so glad that you are almost through the treatments. He is a good man that always thinks of others. We have gotten to see that through your posts. I think we need to have a party when he is finished. Hugs and love to you both.
I will personally tell every law enforcement officer that it is YOU and honey, it will be HANDS OFF and let that sweet woman get down that road!! Continued prayers for your sweet husband. xx
Diana...so eloquently said....my thoughts and prayers are with you through this difficult journey. Your Hero is lucky to have you by his side...I am sure that your added strength, comfort, and amazing humor in this very difficult time is such a blessing.
Continuing to pray John and Diana! I'd be happy to vouch for your 'sanity' if you do get stopped - LOL! Itg will be a great getaway!! Blessings, Cindy xo
I am so sorry that John has suffered so much....a true battle that he is fighting. You both continue to be in my prayers every day, and I'm so thankful the finish line is in sight. I've just started my radiation, 4 down, 16 to go! No issues so far!
Warm hugs to both of you,
Carol
I am so glad that you both are seeing an end to the treatments. Prayers continue for you both and your family.
Thanks for keeping us in the loop, Diana. I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending prayers for healing and complete recovery for your husband, Diana. And prayers for you and yours who are there for him every step of the way.
You described the cancer journey just beautifully. Take care, Diana, the road on the other side might be bumpy but it is solid ground. My best to you and your hero.
As I read through blogs everyday, I think of you and your husband and your whole extended family. I can understand why he prays for other people right now. Sometimes it is easier to think of / worry about others than it is do to that for yourself.
About that ride in the convertible, you'll need a snazzy scarf to control your hair and a pair of glamorous sunglasses, too. Better start looking. -Jenn
Praying sweet lady.
You do have a way with words. Wonderful news! Keep up the good, hard, crazy, love filled days!
Diana I always have you and John in my prayers and respect your strength.
xoxo,
Vera
Beautiful post. Keeping you both in my prayers. xoxo
Diana I know I haven't been around to make comments as much as I normally have done in the past, but I want you to know that I am keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. Stay the course my friend and soon that old bridge will be miles behind you!
XO Barbara
Still praying for you all. It is good he is so near the end of the treatment. The chemo brain will get better.
Oh Di, when you two love birds hit that highway in the convertible, I hope the sun shines big and bright and washes away all your worries and you're left with only joy. And when that happens, just breathe...just breathe, remember to breathe again.
I'm still praying for you and your hubby. It's good to know the end of "the bridge" is within sight. I hope both of you get to speed away in that convertible, soon :)
Kathy (from Reflections by Kathy)
Hi Diana! You and John must be so relieved that the end of his treatment is near. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for the both of you, each in a different way. So many are praying and will keep on praying for as long as prayers are needed. Hang in there, Diana! I would love to see you driving away in the convertible with John by your side!
Dear Diana
This was a hard read...Tim wanted me to read it aloud so he too could know how John is, but I had a hard time getting through it...
I do appreciate the updates, Diana. And I'm so glad that John is finally on the down side of the treatments. No one can ever really know the suffering a person is going through with this battle, but your writing does help to make it real to us. As you say this will certainly add a new dimension to John's ministry. God has a plan for him yet! We continue to pray for you both and send our love in Christ. Kimberly
Diana, glad to know that you are almost at the end of that rickety bridge. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Your idea of speeding down the road in a convertible with your Hero is a great goal to aim for. This is a tough road and I admire both of you and pray for his healing and your strength.
Hugs and prayers for you both, Diana. God will continue to bless you and further the healing, I just know it. And if John decides not to take the risk of going in that convertible with you, have you thopught about maybe pulling a Thelma and Louise? I can be free at a moment's notice :) Blessings, Kathleen
Yep, I can so see you two speeding off into the wide blue yonder..!
As for the bridge, now you are almost across it must be tempting to just scramble to safety...but just keep putting one foot in front of the other, steady as you have been; you will get there.
Continued prayers and hugs,
Xx
I am keeping you and John in my prayers. I want to hear about you and your Hero speeding down the highway together soon! Hugs, Cheryl
You and your hero have a lot of courage, and I thank God that He is your confidence. (I think the pink convertible is just the thing for you when this ordeal is behind you!) Love and prayers
I think of you often, and I hold you and John in my heart always ... hoping the the prayers and support coming your way will lift your up and fuel this journey for the two of you.
What a powerful analogy. Prayers going up; may blessings be coming down. You are loved with an everlasting love...
You keep on going, glad to hear you are near the other end of that bridge. Your husband is courageous, a real trooper! as are you. Sending prayers and hope for better days ahead, minus the speeding tickets.
Thinking of you both often and keeping you in my prayers. I can not imagine this journey you are on, it scares me so. I know you are a much stronger person than I would be. Keep heading towards firmer ground.
Almost to the end. Yippee!
I am praying for a strong finish.
Love to all!
Carla
I've not walked that bridge . . . but I've watched others walk it. It isn't easy, but you are not alone and neither is John. Our God who promises to never leave us or forsake us is there every step of the way. I do not know what people do who don't know our Lord? When the times are good, I guess it's easy. But when times are hard and there is no other comfort than knowing one day He will wipe away every tear . . . well, I can't imagine facing the hard days alone. I'm praying for you both, and I will rejoice when the bridge is crossed and his health is improving. I know what you mean about that car ride! Hang in there friend. Jesus never fails.
I'm so happy for both of you that his treatment is going so well. I know that does not mean fun but it means a light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully all of our prayers and the doctors care will get him there.
I will keep you all in my prayers. They say that when you sleep that the body can repair itself more, so hopefully that is what it is doing. Just take one day at a time. It is hard to see our loved ones in pain, but it is harder for them to go through this when all their life they have been the stronger one.
Your analogy of the bridge was amazing, so astute. I keep you both in my thoughts and prayers - will the convertible be a cherry red vintage mustang? Xo
Oh sweetie, I know you two can get across that rickety old bridge! You have been through so much, but you both still manage to think and pray for others. That's just the wonderful people you are! Keeping you in my prayers.
hugs,
Jann
I am so glad the the treatments are nearly over.
I am a firm believer in the power of one's attitude in kicking cancer. My next door neighbor was told 15 years ago that it was over. We tease that she is just too ornery because she has kicked cancer 4 times and is going strong.
Hang in there! I know that you and John will RUN off that bridge soon.
Hopefully that one week and one day will go so swiftly! Prayers for healing and comfort.
hang in there, both of you.....
Nancy
Diane, I know that I e-mailed you already, but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you on this first day of March. :) Praying for your husband.
love, ~Sheri
Ooooops, I hit the e key instead of the a on Diana. :)
You're all still in my prayers and will continue to be.
Thanks for the update.
Love,
Lily
Sending love and prayers. Love your analogy of the bridge - it really is just like that.....My Mom beat lymphoma and lived to old age. Hang in there. Hugs xo Karen
So thankful to hear the good reports coming in Diana... and you both are always in our prayers! I loved your analogy of the rickety ole' bridge, and life can be like that too! You are always one misstep away from disaster sometimes, it seems, lol! I hope you get to hop in that car and zoom away for a lovely getaway after all that you've been through! Much love to you my friend!!!!
Prayers for you and your husband Diana.
So thankful to hear Diana, I think of you both and always glad to read your reports.
Hugs Diane
Blessings to you both as you take firm steps together over that rickety bridge to safe ground.
Faith and love will carry yall over that big ole bridge my friend! Besides, remember the old german painting.....ive always heard ANGELS hanG out on bridges!!!
What a heartfelt post, full of love, hope & faith.
Love, hugs & prayers for you both ~ FlowerLady
I was talking about you with a friend last night. Still in my prayers.
Sweet little lady with your heart of gold. Sending love and prayers to you, your dear husband and all of the family.
xo
Jemma
Peace and Love to you both.
Teresa
Hi Diana! I am so sorry that John is going through such a difficult recuperating period. Hope his discomfort disappears soon so that he can find a measure of comfort. I am very relieved that your dentist came through his surgery and is now recuperating. Still praying for you and John and I would like to wish you and John a lovely Easter with your family.
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