It's A Monkey Party!!!

The Invitation

Arrived quite a while ago.

I was wondering what kind of party

Mimi & TheIslandScout

would host for

BabyE's first

birthday!

The outside looked like this~

I opened the monkey's mouth

and saw this~

I called Mimi and asked what the party's theme was.

"Ha! Ha! Very funny"! was the response I got.

Well really!

She wanted to know if I had seen Martha Stewart's

Monkey Cake!

Nope!

Well, look it up!

I did!

See below~

Now how cute is that, I ask you?That means I have to go shopping...

I know that Mimi wants a gift card for pictures.

BabyE needs a one year picture taken.

(along about Baby #3-she will be lucky to get a 5 year old picture)

But, in time, she will know that.

Oh, drat!

That means I have to go to the MALL.

I am NOT a MALL person!

I like little independent shops...

And Resale Shops-

And Antique Shops-

But that's just me~

Anyway-

It's off to the Mall~

Here we are-

I give them money and they swipe a card

and off I go.

Wait! Wait! What is that I see right around the corner?
Ah...it's the Gymboree shop!

They might have a little something to add to

the gift card package.

I walk in and am greeted by THE CUTEST

sales clerk.

Isn't she a doll?

And..she was just as sweet as she looks!

Can I help you?

Nope~just looking!

I look and I see this...

Nope nothing there for

The Little Man.

Wait a minute!

WAIT A MINUTE!

What's that I see?

NO! It can't be!

MONKEY CLOTHES?

NO WAY!

I move closer!

Ohhh-How cute is that?

A monkey jumper!

~And~
OH MY!

A MONKEY HAT!

I am so excited I am grinning

from ear to ear

like a lunatic!

(Apologies to any lunatics reading this)

Can it get any better?

YES!

Yes it can!

We have MONKEY SOCKS!Sweet little salesgirls rings everything up.

You are only 27 cents away from a

$25.00 coupon!

WHAT?

Well...what can I find!

Aha!

Found something but...

I can't show you yet.

I'll bet you can't wait

to see it.

But you'll have to.

Because right now..

I am going to show you...

The cutest monkey of all~

Happy Birthday BabyE.

We are blessed to have you!

Oh! The Things They Will Say...

You remember our friend,

Father John?

Of course you do!

You just met him yesterday.

You would think that after a few family fiascos

he would learn to say,

Sorry! I can't make it.

However, when we moved back from Florida

he was anxious to see us

and made a trip to our house~

for dinner, of course ;>)

Before he got there we quickly put our dog, Sugar,

into the garage.

She was in heat. Nuff said.

Father John was quite fond of Oldest son.

Oldest son had just started dating

a very nice young lady

named THE GIRL.

We knew her parents and liked them a lot.
Oldest son started talking about THE GIRL.

He is proudly showing off pictures of THE GIRL to Father John.

MamasBoy is leaning against Father John.

Because he loved him AND

because he didn't want to miss a word.

He was listening to Oldest son wax eloquent about

THE GIRL.

Uh-Oh! SOMEONE has let Sugar

out of the garage and into the house!

MamasBoy is the only one that notices.

Father John is engrossed in the conversation

and looking at the pictures of THE GIRL

Hey! Father! MamasBoy quips.

Uh-oh...you gotta watch out for her

(he is talking about Sugar, the dog)

(the priest assumes he is talking about THE GIRL)

MamasBoy continues...

She's not supposed to come in here cuz....

She bleeds from the bottom, ya know?
The priest continues to dutifully study pictures of THE GIRL.

MamasBoy is on a roll now...
Yep! Ya gotta keep her away from a boy or she'll have babies!

I see a slow flush creeping up Father John's neck and onto his face.I decide this conversation needs some steering...

John! John! I tell him..

MamasBoy is talking about the dog...

The dog is in heat! (not knowing any other term to use at that particular moment in time)

OH MY! Says Father John,

relief flooding his voice.

I knew he was precocious but I thought that was a bit much

EVEN FOR HIM.

And so it was.

Amen &

Amen!

The Priest's Visit

(For my friend, Jettie, because she never forgets a dang thing you tell her)

Once upon a time in 1984,

Our wonderful friend,

Father John,

came to visit us.

We were living in Florida.

He had a purpose for his visit.

It was to see the beautiful church

just up the street from our house.

He was building a church

and looking for ideas.

He said he would be most delighted

to spend the evening and eat dinner

at our house.

The three little kids were spit polished and shined

for the occasion.

Oldest son disappeared as soon as the camera came out.

I set the table with my Pfalzgraf dishes,

I had the Yorktowne pattern-

blue & white-

The perfect dishes for the 1980's family

that liked to eat.

At any family dinner when we had guests,

either MyHero or I would make sure

that we sat next to MamasBoy.

This was purely for self-preservation

because you never knew WHAT he would say.

Especially when we had a priest at the table.

Lord love us.

We sat...

We saw...

We saw that MamasBoy was unfettered

and sitting between his two sisters

at the end of the table.

Across from MyHero.

Lord help us all.

The dinner started nicely enough.

Small talk all around.

Oldest son telling about his track record.

TPot & Mimi talking about dance school.

School? Did someone say SCHOOL?

MamasBoy's ear perked right up!

HE could talk about school!

He sure could!

DAD-he said..

DAD!

What? What son?

Do you know what me and Nicky wuz DISGUSTING today, Dad?

(I am shaking my eyes back and forth so violently I fear they will roll out)

Don't ask- I mouth.

Never one to catch the finer points of eye signals,

MyHero asks- WHAT?

What were you talking about?

MamasBoy's eyes took on a shiny gleam.

He very earnestly leaned forward,

TIPS! He shouted! We were disgusting (yep-disgusting-not discussing) TIPS!

(Only he didn't say TIPS- replace the P with a T)

(I am cleaning it up for Blogland).

OH NO! My face starts to burn!

Father John's eyes do a slow slide to MamasBoy's face.

I see a slight smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

MyHero, now confused, waits for the "rest of the story".

Yeah, Dad! We wus disgusting TIPS!

I just love TIPS, don't you Dad?

By now not a breath can be heard at the table.

Mimi chances a look at MamasBoy!

He looks at her.

Mimi, he says, ever so seriously.

You might never have TIPS

but you got the spots where they're supposed to be!

At this she started to giggle because

These two little sisters

Were known to

be caught

walking around

with oranges stuffed in their shirts

Looking like this.

And the conversation went downhill from there.

Uncle Clifford & The Girls

This Irish looking gentleman below is

My Uncle Clifford.

He was my father's younger brother

And they were connected by a deep, unspoken bond.

Clifford inherited the old family homestead

Where he proudly raised 3 daughters

that he adored.

A son, Stephen, came

late in his life.

He was well into his 50's

when Stephen was born.

Sadly, I don't have any pictures of Blanche (his wife)

or of Stephen.

Uncle Clifford,

Being an Irishman

Had the Irish temper that went with it.

And you never knew quite WHAT was going to

Set him off.

Smash his jeep up in the woods

While driving around?

No problem!

Drop a bottle of pop on the floor &

Let it smash & spill?

Holy Mary, Mother of God...

Pray for your life because you are going to

Get a tongue lashing like none you have ever heard.

I was privy to enjoy several of those

Verbal outbursts

For various offenses.

Some needless.

Most called for~

The difference between an outright accident

and a spill? Ah...One HAPPENS

And ONE is just pure goldurned foolishness...

Yep! You guessed it -

The spilled pop was an avoidable occurrence!

But one of the joys of my life

Was visiting their farm.

That's Judy in the back,

Glenda (left) & Phyllis.

They were allowed to do so many things

That I couldn't do.

They could make mud pies,

(I think we ate some)-ugh :<(

They shared a room.

They could change their bedrooms around

With other rooms in the house.

They were allowed to bake

Whenever & whatever

They wanted.

Oh Yes!

I loved going there!When we got a bit older we were allowed to go

All by ourselves,

To the Falls.

Sorry this is the only picture I have.

The Falls were on the very edge of

Clifford's farm.

It was cool there on the hottest summer day.

There was a series of 3 Falls.

The first one (shown here)

Was about 60' high.

We were warned to NEVER climb

the face of it.

We climbed it too many times

to count.

One time..

when I was being particularly naughty

I threw a shoe over that

belonged to

my cousin, Phyllis.

I also rolled under a fence one time

On the way to the Falls

In one of Aunt Blanche's good coats.

I was NEVER allowed to borrow anyone's coat

after that day.

I never understood that...

hmmmm...

You DO remember that I was

The Naughty One

Right?

Well, the final straw for all involved

Came one day during

Sheep Shearing!

Yep! That's the day I REALLY got in trouble!

Did you ever hear of

Sneezing Powder?

Uh-huh!

Do you know what happens

when you sprinkle

Sneezing Powder

on a sheep...

On a sheep that's being sheared?

Uh-huh!
Let's just say that the sheep doesn't sneeze.

Let's just say that the shearer does.

Let's just say that the perpetrator

Has to walk home

3 miles on long,

lonesome,

country

roads.

Yeah...let's just say that.....
Let's just say

My cousins missed me

for quite a while

that time!

Do I LOOK Naughty?

I promised my friend, Jettie,

(who never forgets ANYTHING apparently)

that I would tell the

"Rest of the story", as Paul Harvey was fond of saying.

The picture below is me myself!

A happy-go-lucky little Miss.

My Father thought everything I did was funny.

My Mother thought nothing I did was funny.

It made for some uneasy family meals.

ANYWAY..

Below you will see me standing next to my Aunt Erma.

One of my Father's sisters.

She is holding one of her pride & joy grandchildren.

She is happy.

That's her happy face.

Notice how she is ignoring me?

See how happy I am?

As a reference guide

Compare it to the picture above.

See what I mean?

I was NOT Aunt Erma's favorite niece.

As a matter of fact, I think I was on the bottom of her list.

Why? Why you ask?

Well, it started with a can of paint

(kinda like this one)

I think I was about 7 (or maybe 8)

I believe my age was

SHE.IS.OLD.ENOUGH.TO.KNOW.BETTER!

(Accompanied by a red face to match her red hair).

Anyway, the best I remember it..

I took her white house paint..

ummm..hmmm...

and I just stirred a wee bit of BLACK paint

into all the cans.

There were lots of cans.

There were enough cans to paint her whole house

and she had a BIG house.

My father asked me if I did it.

I said..YEP!

He asked WHY?

I said..Because I did.

My Auntie said that was

NOT! A! GOOD !ANSWER!!!

My Father suggested she paint the house grey.

She did NOT think that was funny.

She did NOT think I was cute.

My Father bought her new paint.

She got to keep the old paint too!

Now I ask you...

Was that fair?

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Once upon a time.....

MamasBoy & TheSecretAgent lived in a cute little house....
In a cute little neighborhood.
I am not posting any pictures of it because...
I don't want to make TheSecretAgent cry.

One day when Nana was driving along the Bay

She spotted an abandoned looking cottage.

Lo & behold, it had a ForSale sign in front of it.

Never one to pass up an opportunity

Nana called MamasBoy.

Come See! Come See What I Have Found!

He came-He saw-His eyes got all round and shiny.

Then he brought his wife, TheSecretAgent to see it.

I think, to the best of my recollection which might not be

all that great because I am getting old...

I THINK her words were....

Are. You. Guys. Nuts?!?!

What? What does she see that we don't?

Oh....could it be the sagging roof where the

chimney goes through?

OR...could it be the layout? ummm...yeah...

Not good....Hmmm...that can be fixed.

Could it be that the upstairs floors slope about

8" to one side?

hmmmm...that can be fixed too...right?

How about the fact that it doesn't have

real heating or cooling?

How about that a cat has-well, you know..

Hmmm...how about that?

Not to worry!

And, to add insult to injury,

Their beautiful little home had 3 buyers the first week

(Yes! In this market)

TheSecretAgent wanted to cry...

but she didn't...

if she did..

I didn't see her.

Nope! She got busy.

MamasBoy and her got everything picked out for their house.

They put in new windows and siding..

They put in new heating & air conditioning.

They were set to go...

Wait...wait...wait..

City says...Raise your house.

Owner says-We asked-you said we couldn't.

City says-We were just pulling your leg. Raise your house.

Owner says...You're kidding right?

City says...Nope! That inspector is gone..new one says.

RAISE THAT HOUSE!

(you know-kinda like Move That Bus on Extreme Makeover)

MamasBoy is NOT happy.

TheSecretAgent is NOT happy.

The city is finally happy.

My Hero comes over to inspect the situation.

Oh yes...and to offer advice.

Owner says...You go home now.

The final insult to injury?

TheSecretAgent says...

Please save the plants by the front foundation.

MamasBoy obligingly digs up and saves......

I think he was supposed to save this....

But we're not gonna talk about that today.

They're Off-

The upstairs hall is

eerily quiet

and empty.

Two little girls got up early

& made their beds

All by themselves

SweetCheeks sweet little "beddie"

(that she barely fits in-but insists is

"her own liddle beddie")

is empty and

awaiting her

return.

Even after they got up they rested....

& watched the Childrens' Channel

While waiting for something to eat..

(you will notice that SweetCheeks has dressed for the occassion)

All too soon they are dressed

And ready to say Good-bye to Papa~

And then hurry to get their sunglasses on

To head to the Sunshine State.

Have fun, Lulu-Have a good time, Ria!
And BE A GOOD GIRL, SWEETCHEEKS!
SweetCheeks reply?
I YAM a guud girhl...and...
I gonna be gone a hundredt yeears and....

Yoah gonna be cryhing & cryhing & cryhing
cuz yoah is gonna miss me!

Now...ain't THAT the truth!

Vacation? Already?

But there is SOO much to do

before we can leave!

We HAVE to spend the last night at

Nana & Papa's house!

We have to play with our

flying thingy!

We have to check to make sure our 4th of July flag is up!
We have to make sure that our hula hoop still works!
OH NO!
Are you sure it's time for bed, Nana?
I'm bathtime fresh AND
I've brushed my teeth!
And now I am snuggled down into sheets
Fresh from the clothesline-
With ironed pillowcases
sprayed with lavender water.
To sleep-
Perchance to dream~
To dream of tomorrow-
And our trip to DisneyWorld.
And, as SweetCheeks says-

(covered now with skeeter bites)
It's gonna be rweallly quiet arouhnd here, Nana!

It sure is!!!!

And all God's Children said, "GOOD NIGHT"~