Friday, April 29, 2011

SweetCheeks Visits Lowes-I Can't Go Back

I picked SweetCheeks up
to give her Mom time
to do their taxes
a couple of weeks ago
uninterrrupted.
Imagine that!

I told my daughter that
I had to go to Lowes
but I would take
SweetCheeks with me.

SweetCheeks immediately'
informed me that she
hated Lowes.
I think her exact words were~
I HAHTE LOWES, NANA!

Too bad!
Do you want to go with Nana
or stay with Mom and
stay quiet so she
can work on taxes?

*big sigh*
I'hll go witth yohu
but I stihll hate Lowes!
She brightened a bit
when I told her they had
flowers and we would find
something to do with
gardening that she could have
to "help me" come summer.

Immediately upon walking
in we found it..
the perfect thing..
a DorathuExplhoharh
watering can.
She smiled sweetly
and was a very good girl
while I found what I needed.

 Of course, before I left the
store I had to go to the bathroom.
I don't know why because
I only drank about 4 cups of
coffee and had
ONE STARBUCKS LATTE.
~Do you think they will ever
pay me for all the free advertising I
give them~

Anyway..
IN THE BATHROOM
the conversation goes something like
this....
I dohn't haffta go.
Well, I do..
There is noone in here so just
sit tight and look at
your cute self in the mirror
while Nana goes potty.
Oh-kay...

I close Door#1 behind me.
I hear footsteps coming in..
and peek through the crack
(why are we all so paranoid)
to make sure SweetCheeks is
still right where I can see her.
She is still looking at herself in
the mirror.

I uh...ummm..you know- tinkle-
for lack of a more technical term-
and go out to wash my hands.
I get my camera out to
take a pic of SweetCheeks
making faces at herself in the mirror.

Nana?
Yes, honey?
Did yohu see that wooman?
(Oh dear Lord in Heaven...
please...please...please...
it is echo-y in here and the
water is too quiet to drown
out any "secrets")
Nana?
Are we ready to go, SweetCheeks?
Noh...NANA!?
What?
Did you see that lady?
No..I can't help myself..
I am taking pictures.
Her looks like this...

Lord...please..please...please
don't let me start to laugh...
Her dusn't haff eny teeth..
her looks like this...

My face starts burning..
SweetCheeks is smiling happily...
like she has uncovered a nice
big secret.
Shhhhh...I whisper..That's
not nice....
Let's go..

Okay..Nana...
But you know whut else?
(silently to myself...I am NOT asking)
Yohu know how come I knohw that...
cuz hers smiled at me.
I think hers smiled at me cuz
hers liked my
Dorha the Explorah
water can.

I hear rustling..
I hear flushing..
but I am OUT THE DOOR..
before I have to
see the poor soul
that was locked behind
Door Number Two.

SweetCheeks last words?
Nana~WHY arhe yohu ahlways
is such a hurrhy?
It could be because I
don't want to get
"the look"...
you know..
"the look"
the one reserved for people
that can't keep their
kids "in tow".
I'll take my chances with
letting the chatter flow
because you never know
what pearls of wisdom
will drop from the mouths of babes.
Of course, you gotta take the good
with the bad...
If they say the wrong thing....
Just look at them like they belong to
someone else and pretend you
are babysitting.
It worked with my own kids
and it works even  better
with grandkids!
your photo name

16 comments:

Debbiedoos said...

Oh gosh how funny! She was just telling the truth..the woman needs to get some chompers!

Anonymous said...

Thats a good thing to start my morning with,I always have a smile after reading your posts,, sweet cheeks is a sweetheart.

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

So funny. I remember my son embarrassing us to death a couple of times saying things out loud that the persons could hear. One was she is FAT! The other one was why does he have hair in his nose? Yikes!

Jettie said...

I am laughing because i remember those days.
My neighbor and I swore we were going to leave the country when our kids started school.

Debi WeeFaerie said...

I just love her words of wisdom lol! You must laugh constantly... or run from strangers lol!

Patty Patterson said...

Oh, I know those moments! But, I was never good at pretending they were someone else's and always got the looks. *LOL* You must be a talented actress. Maybe you should go with Sweet Cheeks when she goes to Hollywood. She can sing, and you can act!

Suzanne@Meridian Road said...

My daughter asked me once, while we were in line, why the clerk had so many bumps on her face. (she was covered in warts) There were too many people behind me to leave!
And here I was thinking those days were over. It's going to start again once the grandkids are born.

Blessed Serendipity said...

Oh the sweet honesty of children. When my daughter was two an older lady with long straggly dyed black hair, red lipstick and quite wrinkled stepped onto the elevator that we were in and I saw my angel looking at this woman up and down. I tried to distract her before she said anything out loud but the word "witch" came out. I was so embarrassed. The lady bent down and smiled at her and sweetly said what did you say? And of course she said quite loudly WITCH! The lady laughed and agreed that yes children might think she resembled a witch. I couldn't wait to get off the longest elevator ride in history.

Danielle

Rebecca Nelson said...

I just LOVE YOU! ahahahahha Eternally sweet!

PS: It is Winslow, Arizona that is struggling because of I40 (abandoned by Old Route 66) and not Flagstaff. Flag is wonderful and busy!

Love you girly~

Rebecca

Cindy Adkins said...

Oh wow, Diana, this is toooo funny!!! And I love the pics of Sweet Cheeks!
XO
Cindy

Bella's Rose Cottage said...

Hi Daina,
Telling the truth will be a good trait when shes older, just quieter :-) Quiet gossip is fun... haha!
I very much remember being little and talking loudly about a mans lack of hair, my dad was mortified, and I remember, now I just use my inside voice :-)) haha!!
Hugs,
Bella

Donna said...

I bet you had to run back into the bathroom after all of that laughing, Diana! That poor toothless woman will never be the same again! Too funny!!

Cheryl ~ ZanyMayd said...

So Funny, you know they always say "Outta the Mouths of Babes!" So Sweet, I am sure the toothless grin was thinking it was sorta funny too! Love that I am now able to catch up on Everything & Everyone, Especially Sweet Cheeks ~ Love the Jello!

Dawna said...

Wayyy to cute!!! Gotta love em! I am coming over from Gina's, have a great day and thanks for the chuckle.

Anonymous said...

I definitely think it's worth the risk of them saying something and doing something dodgy to get the funny shots. Love that you think to take photo's of these moments.

x

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

She may have spoken the blunt truth as kids usually do, but at least she added that sweet comment at the end that made me say ahh. That's sweetcheeks for ya.