Tuesday, February 11, 2014

MY YEARLY EXAM- NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH

Yesterday 
My Hero and I had our annual physicals.
I don't know about you but I would rather go to the dentist
than the doctor.
At least I can keep my clothes on in the dentist's office.
Even if I happened to be  young and cute and the dentist was super handsome I would leave my clothes on...yes-I-would.

I go through all the normal procedures...
Vampires suck my blood out into a tube.
Then they put me through the mental torture test
by asking
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WEIGH?

I want to tell them that I weigh their IQ but then
they would think they were REALLY smart...
I mean like SUPER HUMAN SMART.

I am ushered into the 
NAKED ROOM.
There are things to look at here.
I want to reach in and squeeze the cotton balls
but I resist the temptation.
Nurse Jeannie (who is darling)
asks me 3,658 questions.
I answer NO to almost all of them...
except the one that asks me
DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?

Finally, I get to see my Doctor,
Doctor Sabina Singh
I want to SING her praises.
(Sing-Singh-get it? They sound alike)
She is hands-down the best doctor I have EVER had.
She takes her time and really listens and 
asks questions.
If you are in the Green Bay area and looking 
for a doctor CALL HER.

Anyway,
She asks- Are you having trouble hearing?
I ask- WHAT?
She repeats: Are you having trouble hearing?
I ask again- WHAT?
She starts-Are you having......
Then she catches what I am doing and laughs.
I like a doctor that laughs.

She asks if I am having any pains.
I want to tell her "just the one I live with"
but behave myself instead.
Finally, it is time for 
THE GOWN
You know the ones-The ONE SIZE FITS ALL
and NEVER DOES
And, once you don the gown you 
lay down in submission.

I endure the pinch, poke, palpitate,
press, push routine with my
standard good humor.

I get two quick jabs and I am out the door.
My Hero is in the doctor's office just down the 
hall from me.
When we are both fully inspected
we meet in the lobby.

How'd it go? I ask.
Fine! He answers.
Did you giggle at any time? I ask.
Very funny! He answers.
I ask him if he REMEMBERED to tell the Doctor
that he was getting forgetful.
I am NOT getting forgetful! He grumps.

Hmmmm...
I guess an intruder came in  and fried up some
eggs (which someone said they disposed of)
AND  Hmmmmmm......
I guess the burner turned itself on and went
to take a nap.
My Hero says he will tell him "next time"
Liar-Liar- Pants on fire-

After this wonderful experience
I treat myself to a Starbucks!
All done!  Yep- all done!
Well, ALMOST all done. I do have
ONE MORE WONDERFUL TEST.
Guess I better get studying for my quiz!

I have a little boyo here today that is not feeling 
well.  Mama & Daddy are both working so he is
HANGING OUT WITH NANA.

I'll check in as I can today.

your photo name

66 comments:

Japolina said...

I'm prepping for my colonoscopy on Sunday. Ugh

Nancy's Notes said...

No fun going to the doctor, that is for sure! But glad you did. I'm up to date on mine, good luck with the last test! Poor little guy, staying with Nana will make him feel so much better!

Linda said...

I wish I would not have read your post today, because I have those 2 events coming up soon in my life too. They only difference is they don't torture me with the question "how much do you think you weigh?". Hope you passed with flying colors!

JoAnne said...

Oh yes, I experienced my annual fun exam a few weeks ago. It just so happens that my doctor's office is very close to Home Goods so my annual reward is a fun shopping trip afterwards!

Musings from Kim K. said...

All my modesty went out the window with my recent hysterectomy. It's a good thing I love my OBGYN. I'm sure you'll take good care of your little guy today.

Boopnut said...

I don't mind going to the doctor except for the pap test! Is anyone else cold at the doctor's office?
Deb

Beth said...

LOL!! I know exactly what you are talking about. My primary care is a lady doctor too; they are the best. Getting ready for the big C is worse than the actual thing.

Karen thisoldhouse2.com said...

I hate going to the Dr. too... procrastinate often. BUT... I guess we should be thankful that we have the ability to get these things done, right? That's what I keep telling myself... over... and over... and over... *sigh*

And I hate the Dentist just as much. I, like you, also happen to LIKE both of them, so that makes it doable. We can laugh at each others happenings as we do the less than fun stuff.. and i like that.

Barbara @ 21 Rosemary Lane said...

I am with you Diana...definitely dentist over doctor's visit any day! Hope all went well and the tests all come back A-Okay for both of you! My mom recently had a check up and they asked her to say the alphabet. She did and they were all impressed (she is 85). I laughed and told her she should have asked the doctor if she wanted it said forwards or backwards. (when my mom was a little girl she and her sisters would practice saying the alphabet backwards.) That would have really impressed the office!
Hope your little guy is feeling better soon...he is so lucky to have his Nana to take care of him.
XO Barbara

Jettie said...

Yeah, I have to prepare for that last test, afere I get over the How to prepare for your Hip surgery one.

The Tuscan Home said...

Oh my goodness, you make me laugh girl! Your sense of humor is hilarious, but that's what I love about you! Glad all went well at the doc's office. :) xo, Liz

Susie said...

Diana, Hope your little boy is getting better. You kill me teasing your Hero like you do. :) I am about due for my yearly check up. LOL. I have had really good health since last Spring...so I do not go to the drs. ...when ever I go I take a list...I try to ask as many questions as I can, to get my money's worth. Take care, xoxo,Susie

Kim said...

I don't like the doctor or the dentist~ I'm a giant baby when it comes to both! I go, but I don't like it!

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

Annual check ups are just one of those things ya gotta do, Diana! I don't look forward to mine either and the word "colonoscopy" was thrown around at my last one because I had my 50th coming up. Well, now I am 50 and I'm thinking, if it ain't broke don't go poking around! I suppose I will do what I am supposed to {at some point}, but I can't help thinking about the stuff that Ricky Gervais had to drink in Ghost Town the night before his exam.

Pondside said...

An annual check-up is a whole lot easier if you like your doctor, isn't it? I'd rather see my doctor than the dentist - but then, I'm still dealing with the dislocated jaw I got from the dentist in January! Why am I not following you? I thought I was. I will remedy that right now.

Lisa @ Texas Decor said...

Oh Diana...can I just tell you how glad I am that I found your blog? You crack me up on a daily basis. :) So glad the visits went well. Hope your little boy is feeling better soon. :)

Thistle Cove Farm said...

I'd rather go to the movies than the doctor OR the dentist. But, to each their own.
'giggle'

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

OMG, you crack me up!! I hate physicals, too. I bet you are one paint in the butt patient. :)

Pam Kessler said...

So nice the kids can go to Nana's house when they're sick. Hope the little guy is feeling better soon!

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

Oh my! You even made this sound funny. Thanks for the laughs. That's definitely one of those things you are happy you've done....when it's all over! Enjoy your day my friend! Sweet hugs!

sweetvintageofmine said...

Hi Diana, Glad you had a good visit with Dr. SING! I had a visit last Aug., and they were running way behind. I was on a schedule.....the longest yard sale started that day! Sooooooo, I wasn't a happy patient when I ended up spending an extra hour there and I told the Dr. about it.......I will never forget the look on her face when I said.........I am missing out on some great finds on the longest yard sale! I won't be scheduling my appt. next year at this time. I think she thought I was NUTS! Hope your day is good and little guy is feeling better! Roxie

Patty Patterson said...

Enjoy the time you get to spend with that boy! And I do hate doctors appointments. I don't like the dentist, either. But it is good to get a good check up and have a clean bill of health. I hope the colostomy goes well.

Sharon @ Elizabeth & Co. said...

Not my favorite thing to do either, but it feels good when it's done. And having a good doctor makes all the difference! ... Now go snuggle with that little one, just don't catch anything!

Our Hopeful Home said...

You made me smile this morning, thank you! I don't like either the doc or dentist, these days it's the periodontist especially (just had gum surgery number 2). Glad all looks good for you and hubby. You'll have to share your colonoscopy experience, I'm not that far away! Have a great day!
xoKathleen

Nellie said...

Oh my, Diana! You are really "going through the mill," aren't you? Had my annual physical in December just before Christmas, then one with the ob/gyn last week. The prep for that colonostomy is awful!:-) Yuck! Sending along wishes that everything goes well. Sounds like someone at your house needs an extra dose of hugs today. xo Nellie

Sylvia said...

Diana, you always make my day, I just giggle and giggled! I have to go next Wednesday for my annual mamogram,,and I am should I say.."large breasted" and I hate "taking my top off". Good luck on the colonostomy, I have a couple years before my next one...or is it next year,,,oh my!

Donna said...

Sounds like you had too much fun at the dr, Diana! I hate going to the dr, and rarely do. I promised myself that I would get my first colonoscopy this year, too, ugh!

Sunny Simple Life said...

The worst thing about the colonoscopy is the pre-clean out.

Vee said...

If only I could make my doctor visits this much fun. I used to think that I wouldn't visit a doctor because I dislike them so, but who does enjoy that kind of treatment? No one I know. Well done. Both of you! Hope that the little boyo will be feeling better soon.

Penny @ Penny's Vintage Home said...

I agree...I'd rather go to the dentist! At least my dentist "caters to cowards" and will give me "a little something" The only thing you get for a pap or a mamo is a "suck it up....or don't act like a baby" from the doc! Have a wonderful Valentines day....hugs, Penny

Ruth Kelly said...

Many of the doctors that I see now, don't make you weigh nor put on a gown but there is always the exception of the one that wants to know your weight - is it awful that we dread that scale which always weighs me more than mine at home?

Anonymous said...

If not for the coffee we reward ourselves with after the torture (physical) I doubt we would ever get one!
Hope the little one feels better soon.

Simply LKJ said...

You crack me up! My mother hates going to the doctor with my dad because he is ALWAYS cutting up!! He figures, if he HAS to go, he might as well enjoy himself (and make his doctor uncomfortable in the process). LOL The sleet, ice and snow have returned. Oh joy!!

Tete said...

I am glad you have a good doctor and one that you love. That's half the battle, right there. I am surprised that you let John go on his own. You know better than that. You need to be in there to tell his doctor that he's losing the battle of the minds.

Kelly said...

I had my physical recently too! They always have me get bloodwork done in advance of the appt though so they can review their findings with me during the physical. I ended up getting a DTap vaccine too. Glad that's over. Now, I'm trying to improve my diet (per dr's orders) to improve my cholesterol and tryglicerides. No fun! I need to have another colonoscopy too. Hate those! Glad you're taking care of your health. It's so important.

living from glory to glory said...

I do not like the Dr visit either!! They always want to give me something or do something, I usually say no thank you!!!!!
Did you you know that women who have high cholesterol levels live longer? I have left the burner on myself while my Hubby will say, hey are you done with that burner?? Why, I was just thinking maybe I might use it again tonight during supper.....
Big Hugs to YOU and Your Hero..Roxy

Preppy Empty Nester said...

Oh Diana... you can even make a doctor's visit adorable!! I've been putting off my colonoscopy for a while now. Good luck!!!

Blessed Serendipity said...

Oh poor you. At least you are keeping your sense of humor through it all. I hope it isn't too awful and you muster through it.

xo Danielle

cards4ubylouise and other treasures said...

Nope....I am not my Doctor's greatest fan, and he knows that!! I don't like him mentioning the "C" word around me. He does take my blood on a regular basis though, just like the mosquitos, must be sweet to drink (hahahaha) I try to stay away from mosquitos too!! What am I saying, my blood pressure always goes up when I see the Doctor as does my blood sugars.....stress and the "white coat syndrome" Nope, nope, nope not my favorite place to go to. I am glad you were brave enough to go though. Wish you could go for me.

Unknown said...

Diana, I hate going to the doctor too!! But it is so much better when you have a doctor you like. I have thyroid disease so I get vials of blood drawn quite often :( But I am used to it. I had five of my six kids completely natural and I always say I would rather give birth than go to the dentist, lol. I HATE it, lol!! Hope your little guy feels much better soon!
Hugs,
Amy

Debby said...

Sounds like the checkups went well. Why did you have to have shots? Nosey, you don't have to answer. Tell your hubby I am right there with him. Things I have done lately scare me. I am contemplating calling the doctor.
You are always a funny one.
Hope the little guy feels better soon. xo

My Garden Diaries said...

Oh friend! I have my yearly next Monday and I am not looking forward to it at all! You crack me up! But hey it is good to get it done and done! And how wonderful that you can cuddle with your sweetie today...no fun when they are sick! They are lucky to have you as a grandma! Good luck with that colonoscopy and most importantly have a wonderful week! Nicole xoxo

J said...

Diana, who but you could make an annual visit a topic of fun?! I'm sure your doc loves to see you coming in too - so many grumpy ones with not a pleasant thing to say are probably the norm! The best part is walking out of there and knowing you won't need to go back for a year!

NanaNor's said...

Girl, You crack me up! Love this; you made it look so very easy; wish mine were so easy. I have to have blood tests every four months or they won't renew my meds-imagine that, I have to take my meds or could be in serious trouble. I hate doctors and dentists are high on my list either. So glad you treated yourself to a treat afterward. Hope your boy feels better soon.
Hugs, Noreen

Leslie Anne Tarabella said...

I take my own fuzzy robe to the GYN every year for my exam. She always tells me how clever I am and the she should get fuzzy robes for all her patients, but she never does.

Hope you pass all your tests with flying colors!

Diana LaMarre said...

LOL, Diana. I HATE physicals! I hope you do well on all of your tests!

Cheryl @ TFD said...

You are so funny. I have to say tho, that I'd rather get a pap than go to the dentist! I've even had to have several endo biopsies and a D&C, but I'd still rather get a pap than sit in a dentist chair and have my teeth scraped, cleaned, drilled on, etc. My GYN is very good and quick and I'm outta there in like 5 minutes. Now I'm due for a colonoscopy and I dread that! It's the prep that is the worst part. I hope all your results come back good!

joanne said...

I've been putting that test off for so long now that my doc doesn't even ask when I'm going to have it done, she just shakes her head at me. *sigh* I've been busy ya know.

Junkchiccottage said...

Too funny Diana. Glad it all went well with the doctor. I am over due for a colonoscopy and have been putting it off and I need to get that done too. I think the worse part is only the prep then the procedure is not bad. Have a great evening so happy it is all over for you and you got a good bill of health.
Kris

Debbie said...

It's such a relief to get that over with, isn't it? I'm due for mine soon. I don't mind the physical anymore. There are worse things in life.
How fun...you get to have the royal flush! I hope everything comes out alright.
Hope your little boy feels better soon.
Love you.
xo

Gypsy Heart said...

Sounds like an ok physical. What I hate, besides the gowns that make such a fashion statement, are the stirrups! Colonoscopies are certainly no fun...I have 2 more years before I have to have another. The "good stuff" they give you for the procedure is great...wish they could change the prep.

xo
Pat

Deb @ Frugal Little Bungalow said...

You are such a hoot that anyone that visits here should never need a doctor since laughter is good medicine :) What a joy you are! :)

Babs said...

Glad your check up was a fun one. :) Thanks for the giggles.
Sorry your little grand isn't feeling well. Hope he's better soon.

Anonymous said...

Your Doctor must be still smiling! You always have the best sense of humor! I can count on you for a chuckle! The colonoscopy- such fun! I was so scared and it was really nothing. I felt so silly for putting it off for a year or two. I'm almost ready for another one too. Hoping your little one is better soon! What a blessing he can be with his Nana!

Lucille said...

Good luck with the colonoscopy! I had one recently. I hate them! It's not the test itself that's so bad, it's the preparation and swallowing that liquid!

Cottage and Broome said...

You are too funny! Glad things went so well. Good luck with the colonoscopy, not a bad test could save your life! Stay healthy, Laura

Sew a Fine Seam said...

Diana you are so funny! I had to read this post to my hubby so he could laugh with me!

Mary A said...

The worst part of a colonoscopy is the prep. I swear they would get a lot more response if they could come up with something better tasting than go-lytely. You sleep through the test and I can do that well.....

Mary@mydogsmygardenandmary said...

You are such a great person - always having a great laugh no matter what. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall. You probably had that Dr. laughing the whole time she was giving you your exam.
Hopefully everything turned out okay and good luck on your colon test. Hope your Hero had a good one also.
Mary

Holly @ Down to Earth Style said...

I think doctors can appreciate a little humor. I joke sometimes too. You are making me laugh about your hero's forgetfulness- but I have to be honest, I skipped the colonoscopy movie. My doctor keeps telling me to go in for a mammogram now that I am 40. =/

Jan said...

Great post! I just had a physical and went through almost the exact same procedures. Isn't it wonderful having a doctor you like? Hope all of your test results come out A-okay and the little one feels better soon.

Anonymous said...

Great one!! But i don't like to visit doctors. Let all your results come good.

SImple and Serene Living said...

Oh boy, I hate going to the doctor. I do love mine even though her name is Dr, Kudimotri and I can never spell it right. Good luck with the colonoscopy. Hope your little grandson feels better quickly. xo Laura

White Lace and Promises said...

You are too funny! The colonoscopy will be a breeze and you'll never remember that your put was in the air. That baby is adorable. Makes me miss mine:(

Chatty Crone said...

Well the physical went good - but I don't envy the colon test! Good luck. sandie

Amy at Ms. Toody Goo Shoes said...

I'm always happy when my annual physical is over for another year, but then it always comes around so fast -- funny how that happens. UGH - the dreaded colonoscopy. Mine is coming up in the fall. Blech.