Sunday, February 5, 2017

REMEMBERING MY BROTHER, CHARLIE

Four years ago February 4th,
 my daughter, Mimi,
and I were driving through a blinding snow storm
trying to reach Pennsylvania before 
my brother, Charlie,
went into surgery.

 He had gone in a couple of days prior and thought 
he had a bladder infection.
This is a man that was never sick a day in his life.
As it turned out, they never did do surgery.
He had gone from hale and hearty to
desperately ill in a few days time.
We got there late February 4th  and he was
very ill.
The dreaded words came from the doctor-
Stage Four Cancer.
Incurable.
Rare.
Fast moving.
No treatment available for this type of cancer.
He died the next day.
February 5th, 2013.

Even now it is surreal.
Even now I think I will pick up the phone 
and hear his 
half-laugh saying,
"Hello, Sister- Dearest"
(a take off on Mommy Dearest- don't ask)
Even now, I can hear him telling me 
how happy he was,
how much he loved the girl he had married,
how much he loved his children and grandchildren.
He was one of the kindest souls I have ever known.

Right after that Mimi invited me 
to spend a couple of days
with her and her boys 
while her hubby was out of town
I thought it was fitting to go.
And, as we mourned losing Charlie, 
we celebrated the fact
that she was carrying another little life around.
Another little girl to love.
Charlie loved Mimi.
She reminded him of our side of the family
with her curly red hair and her blue eyes.
He would have loved this baby, too.
This sweet little baby turned out to be our own little
Anna Ireland (Bright Eyes)
Rarely a day goes by that I don't
think about him and remember
something funny he said or did.
Missing you today, Charlie, 
but know I will see you again
someday.

You know where to look for me-
I'll be in the
not-quite-perfect corner.
Miss ya, buddy!
your photo name

74 comments:

Sonny G said...

so sorry you lost him. Love lives on , I can see it in your words.

big hugs
Sonny

Liz@ HomeandGardeningWithLiz said...

Such a sad time for you and your family. I remember you sharing this back when it happened. Your little Anna Ireland is so precious- a blessing from God for sure!

Laura @ duke manor farm said...

what a beautiful tribute to your brother.His spirit shines through you with your kindness and heart....prayers and hugs to you on this day and everyday because we will always miss the ones who have gone before us and are waiting on us.

Anonymous said...

May the Lord bless you all today with sweet, cherished memories of Charlie. So comforting to know we will see our loved ones again in Heaven.

Lisa said...

So sad, ive never experienced the loss of a sibling. I can only emagine the pain. Just know you are blessed to be able take some joy in knowing your loved one is in heaven.
Lisa

Jen Kershner said...

Such a sweet tribute to your beloved brother. I can only imagine the shock but love that he lives on in your memory and stories.

Linda @ Life and Linda said...

What a touching tribute to your sweet brother, Charlie. I know he is missed greatly. Life doesn't seem far at times, taking loved ones from us so early. I hope you find comfort in his wonderful memories. Sweet little Bright eyes is a true blessing. xo

Maria Elena said...

Diana, it is so hard to believe it has been four years already. I remember it like it was yesterday.Sending you my love. xoxo Maria

Lori said...

Must have been such a shocker and very sad time. The memories live on and are helpful aren't they? Sounds like a great guy for sure.

Preppy Empty Nester said...

What a beautiful tribute to your bro. So sweet that he still, and will always live in your heart. Love the last pic of the Green Bay cheerleader!!

Jackie See said...

Diana your brother must have been a funny guy so sorry your time with him was shortened by that ugly word cancer. I'm sending you a virtual hug and pray that you find more love than pain when you think of him. God bless you sister.

Simply LKJ said...

Diana, will be thinking of you and the family today. Not a day goes by that you don't miss a loved one!

Susie said...

Diana, I know you still miss your wonderful brother. I can see a resemblance between you and Charlie's smiles. Hugs to all. Hope S.C. won her game. Blessings to all, xoxo, Susie

Linda @ A La Carte said...

I know the pain of that loss. My brother died a year ago at Christmas and it's been a big hole in my life. Hugs!

Pam Kessler said...

I can't imagine going from thinking you have a bladder infection to being gone in the matter of a few days. Life sucks sometimes. But I'm sure you'll be seeing each other again, even if you have to talk your way in :)

coffeeontheporchwithme said...

Oh Diana, I am so sorry. What a horrible shock it must have been to everyone - so fast - not even enough time to take it in. He sounds like he was a wonderful person. -Jenn

Michele M./ Finch Rest said...

Awl, Di - wow. First off, it's the dang-dest thing, that sneaky cancer. Had a very similar story with my high-school sweetheart/first husband. Fit as a fiddle and healthy as can be - thought he had a gall bladder attack, opened him up, closed him up. GB was fine, but end stage liver cancer, month later gone. Gone much too young. Devastating.

Your Charlie looks exactly like you - you have those strong Irish genes. (We do too, our eyes win every time, though blue is supposed to be recessive, ha!)

I love you loved your bro - and he loved you. I ADORE that cute pic of Anna Ireland - that pout is priceless.

As difficult - nearly impossible- it is to lose our loved ones, if we didn't say goodbye we could never say hello to the newborns. Having a new baby in the family helps us understand that full circle of love thing for sure. God bless you and yours as you remember.

Hugs ♥

Tamara said...

I'm so sorry Diana.. What a shock and great loss. I lost my closest brother when I was 14. We do always miss them. I can see the resemblance in the two of you and it sounds like you also shared that fun sense of humor! It's great that you have so many fond memories. That sure is a sweet little angel in the Green Bay outfit! Warm wishes for your week.

Hugs...
Tamara

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Your brother sounds like he was a great guy. This is a good reminder to all of us to live life and enjoy it every day because it can be so tragically fleeting.

A Joyful Cottage said...

A beautiful tribute to your brother, Diana. I'm sorry you lost him so soon. And happy you have the knowledge that you will be reunited with him one day. That is the hope that all believers share. Love you, sweet lady. Hugs.

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

What a sweet tribute to your brother. Sending you a big hug!

Pom Pom said...

What a good brother!
You loved him well.

Sissie's Shabby Cottage said...

Diana, It's so endearing to read about your love for your precious Brother, Charlie. I am so sorry that you lost him at such a young age but happy that you carry on his memory everyday. I know he was so special to you and his memories will be forever in your heart. And yes, you will see him one day.

hugs,
Sissie

Marilyn @ MountainTopSpice said...

Grief knows no bounds does it? Even though years have passed, how one who has passed into the arms of the Lord is still deeply missed. I feel your pain today, and can only imagine how horrible it was to have him pass so quickly and suddenly, but what a beautiful connection you have with Bright Eyes, it seems the Lord's mercies that she came into the world even as he passed on. My heart goes out to you today, you will be in my prayers! And how wonderful to have the hope of eternity with our loved ones. Much love to you today my friend!

Chatty Crone said...

I am very sorry at the loss of your brother. It is amazing that he thought it was a bladder infection and then died a few days later. I am glad he was not in severe pain. Going young and going fast is hard to take for us here on earth. He was a handsome man. You two look alike too. I see it. Do you have anymore siblings? Love and hugs, sandie

Connie said...

Dianna, I am so sorry for your loss. It has got to be harder when you have no time to prepare or wrap your head around what's going on. Then the other side is that it sounds like we went fast and didn't have pain for long.
God Bless You.
Connie :)

The Joy of Home with Martha Ellen said...

Diana, I'm so sorry about your dear brother. I can tell you loved him dearly. Losing a sibling is just awful!! My dear sister passed away to pancreatic cancer. We will meet up with them one day, dear one. I love that sweet photo of bright eyes!! She is just adorable! Take care, my friend. xo ♥

Junkchiccottage said...

Hi Diana,
I know you had a close relationship with your brother and his loss took part of your heart when he passed. I know he is always around you. You and Charlie look very much alike and you both have big and beautiful smiles. I send you hugs today as you remember your sweet brother. Love and hugs girlfriend.
Kris

Debbie - Mountain Mama said...

Oh Diana I'm so sorry, hugs to you and to Charlie up above xoxo

Adam said...

My uncle went through a somewhat similar thing. We never quite know when our time is up

Anonymous said...

To have a brother who sounds like your brother was is a God-given gift.

Cheryl @ TFD said...

I know how much you must miss your precious brother, for I still miss both of mine and it's been several years now. They also left this world much too soon. You and your brother have the same smile. And, I just have to say it...you, pretty lady, will never be found in a corner! :) Hugs to you, Cheryl

amazingsusan said...

Cried.

Carla said...

I'm glad you got to the hospital before he was gone Diana. He sounds like a great guy. I'm glad he did not have to suffer. Anna is always precious.

Carla from Kansas

Rose L said...

It is sweet to remember loved ones now gone. I especially remember my husband, Clay, on our anniversary (May 29th), his birthday (June 24) and the day of his death (Nov 10th). He will always be with me.

AnnMarie aka Vintage Junkie aka NaNa said...

Oh Diana, this is so sad! And scary. Our lives are so precious and tomorrow is promised to no one! So sorry for your loss but it is a nice story with a baby girl coming into the world to brighten your lives.

Merlesworld said...

So sad and so quick but you had some time together lots of happy memories to remember.
Merle..........

Cynthia said...

That is such a sham and sad. Happy you got there in time. That baby girl has such a face

Cindy

Kim said...

Sending hugs to you today, my friend, as you remember your dear brother. And I love the comment about the not quite perfect corner! ;)

HIBISCUS HOUSE said...

Oh Diana I'm in tears. My heart hurts for your loss. He like you must have been someone very special. You've described him so that we can see how he was. The happy memories he leaves are so wonderful though I'm grateful you have that. So shocking how quickly he was taken and I'm sure that has been the hardest to take. The pure shock and surprise. God bless you and the family. What a wonderful brother he was.

Debbie Harris said...

So sad. You are blessed with a worderfull brother which left you with some precious memories.
You and your brother look a like. :)
I last my brother suddenly six years ago mantua 6th and I still miss him terribly. He was my big brother who always looked after me. I'm like you, I sometimes think he is going to call me, Del loved the telephone.

SendingSending love and hugs to you, sweet lady♡

Debbie Harris said...

Wow! Spell check really got me this time! You were blessed to have a wonderful brother.
I lost my brother in January.
Yikes!! :)

Debbie Harris said...

Wow! Spell check really got me this time! You were blessed to have a wonderful brother.
I lost my brother in January.
Yikes!! :)

Debbie Harris said...

So sad. You are blessed with a worderfull brother which left you with some precious memories.
You and your brother look a like. :)
I last my brother suddenly six years ago mantua 6th and I still miss him terribly. He was my big brother who always looked after me. I'm like you, I sometimes think he is going to call me, Del loved the telephone.

SendingSending love and hugs to you, sweet lady♡

Blondie's Journal said...

An 'anniversary' like this is so filled with mixed feelings. The memories, even happy ones cut through our hearts. I wish I could say something more meaningful. I think of my late sister often and sometimes feel guilty I don't think of her more. I know she would be okay with that...she was selfless.

Sending love and a big hug, Diana.

Jane x

Cecilia said...

I forgot you lost your brother just days after I lost mine. He sounds like a wonderful person. I know you must miss him horribly. Love and hugs to you.
Cecilia

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

So sorry, Diana. My brother is like you described your beloved sibling,, kind and wonderful. I don't want to have a thought of losing him. Other than a child and a spouse, this is the greatest loss.

Jane@Bluebird1959 said...

Hugs to you,,Diana. You were very blessed to have such a wonderful brother to love. Although he is gone, he lives on in the people who loved him. You are right, God will bring you back together some day. Thinking of you! Jane

Jane@Bluebird1959 said...

I forgot to mention his smile - his smile in the picture just says it all.

Ricki Treleaven said...

I remembered when he passed. It's hard to believe it's been four years already! I can't imagine your loss because I'm a lonely only. Bright Eyes is too dang cute! And I think your Mimi is beautiful. She does look like a sweet Irish Colleen! My great grandmother was Irish, and she called my girl cousins and me her little "Colleens" which means girl or lass in Irish.

Donna said...

Diana, this is such a beautiful tribute to your brother. xoxo

Down On The Farm said...

I can feel the love you had for him in the words you wrote. It is so hard to understand life sometimes. It seems to be very cruel, his passing like that, with no time to prepare. And yet, his suffering was minimal, and that is a blessing. The more I try to figure things out, the less I understand. I guess God just truly wants us to wake up each day and say "You're in control, Your will be done." And that ain't easy. But it is the only way to have peace. Trying to stay in control (when we really have no control at all) is exhausting. It really is all up to Him. Sending you a hug. I know you miss him.

Tete said...

Charlie is watching over you...every second. Its so hard when they are just out of reach. Wish I had had a brother like that. Can you check and see if this one is a noreply...I am not sure why its showing up like that...crazy.

White Lace and Promises said...

Watch a touching post. One of my brothers turns 60 this year and will have knee replacement and retire this year. He's worked hard and deserves to retire. He and I have reconciled and his wife and I have finally connected. There's a peace to that that is hard to comprehend. My baby brother of 5 died in an accident and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him being reunited with my parents. I know that your memories and fun and pleasant ones and I'm glad they make you laugh.

Cindy @ Dwellings-The Heart of Your Home said...

So very sorry Diana. Your bright eyes is precious!
Blessings,
Cindy

Celestina Marie said...

Such a heart touching tribute post Diana. I remember when your brother passed away. I know the loss leaves an empty space and I am so sorry for your loss. Bright eyes is a doll baby!!
Blessings, xo

Karen thisoldhouse2.com said...

What a lovely post - and a precious child! Sounds like he had the same love for life and his people that you do.

Karen @ Beatrice Euphemie said...

Such a touching tribute to your dear brother, Diana. He sounds like a wonderful brother, husband, father and grandfather. So sorry for this loss. Your little Bright Eyes is so precious. xoxo Karen

Attic Clutter said...

oh so sad Diana..
life is cruel..
but you are a joy and I love the cute banner :)
hugs,Patty

living from glory to glory said...

Precious, Bright Eyes is darling, I am glad he went fast and did not suffer, (God's Grace) I look forward to seeing you both in heaven one day. I do hope it will be a while yet...
Yours, Roxy

Deb @ Frugal Little Bungalow said...

oh what a shock / so quick / no time to prepare...no words :(

Grammy Goodwill said...

I remember this sad time, Diana, for you. You've written a beautiful story about your brother. That smile makes me think you must have had similar personalities, full of joking and laughter. I know you will miss him always until you see him again. Heaven will smile then.

Kelly said...

Death anniversaries can be so hard. I'm so sorry that this time of year brings you a heavy heart. What a devastating disease to take him so fast. The only good thing is that he didn't have to live with it for a long time and suffer. So many people live a roller coaster ride with cancer only to not survive it in the end.

Anonymous said...

such a wonderful touching tragic and loving memorial to your beloved brother.
it's all here darling nana d. and it brought tears to my eyes.
and yes.
what a get~together we all have to look forward to someday! i'll no doubt be in that corner too! XO♥

BeachGypsy said...

so sad that he was taken so suddenly and y'all really just had not warning at all did you, just out of the blue. Sure can feel the love in this post that you wrote tho...and you're right---you will be together again someday!

Kathleen Charm Bracelet Diva {At Home} said...

So sorry for the sadness that comes with the territory....he sounds like such a great guy and brother. I remember you wrote about him before....I lost my brother when he was 17 and I was 4 -- changed my family forever. It's never easy, but rest assured that we'll all be together again. I don't doubt that for a minute. Thanks for sharing his smile and your love:) xo Kathleen

Debby Ray said...

Oh Diana...I got teary-eyed as I read this. I have 7 siblings and just the thought of losing one of them breaks my heart. We just never know from one day to the next what will happen although we were not promised tomorrow. What a precious time I'm sure that was that you had with Mimi. God is such a wonderful healer...after the initial grieving period, He brings all of those precious memories to the surface. God bless you and your family as you remember your sweet brother Charlie. Hugs! ♥

Diane said...

I am so sorry to hear your story Diana and the lose of your brother.

Hugs Diane

Musings from Kim K. said...

Although I've been neglectful in blogland, please know that I do think of you and your family. I also remember very well the story of your brother's sudden passing. Hugs!!!

Linda said...

I too lost a brother Diana...and the pain is always with me.
He was 38...my younger brother...my kids ADORED him...he has been gone 20 years already...
I know exactly how you feel...

linda

Leslie Harris said...

Diana what a beautiful tribute to your brother. It's clear by the kind of memories he left behind that he was one of those extraordinary human beings, the kind that spreads love through his words and actions. I am so sorry to hear the story of how quickly he went, it must have been so stunning. One minute he's there, the next minute he's gone. I'm so glad you had there with you to share your sorrow. Your little Anna Ireland who looks like a pure gift from heaven!

Doreen@foxdenrd said...

A beautiful tribute for a beautiful man. He was so handsome, and you two looked very much alike. The same eyes and smile for sure.

It's so sad when loved ones leave us too soon, but he didn't suffer, and that is a blessing.

Sarissa calls me Mommy Dearest. I won't ask if you won't; ).

Doreen@foxdenrd said...

A beautiful tribute for a beautiful man. He was so handsome, and you two looked very much alike. The same eyes and smile for sure.

It's so sad when loved ones leave us too soon, but he didn't suffer, and that is a blessing.

Sarissa calls me Mommy Dearest. I won't ask if you won't; ).

Launna said...

Diana, you made me cry... wow... I am glad you were able to see your brother before he passed... Cancer is so awful it takes so many much to early... You little bright eyes is such a happy girl xox