This is a long post so
settle in~ lol
Sometimes life turns us upside down.
We think our lives are following
the path we planned and hoped for.
But, sometimes, life throws us a curve.
We had planned to travel.
We had planned to enjoy our
GOLDEN YEARS.
We had planned to help our children
and grandchildren with projects
and help them realize their dreams.
Life had other plans for us.
Hubby (MyHero on the blog)
started declining about 5 years ago.
As most of you know,
he had three bouts of cancer.
The last one (almost 10 years ago)
was Stage 4-head/neck cancer.
They did not give us much hope
that he would make it through
the rigorous schedule of radiation and chemo.
He did make it through but at great expense.
Slowly he recovered and was able to live
a somewhat 'normal' life for a few years.
Then, about 5 years ago, he started passing out
with no warning. The first time,
he stopped breathing.
CPR brought him back around and in hospital
they ran test after test with no clearcut results.
Over the past 5 years he has continued to decline.
This past December we finally got to spend a week at Mayo.
They ran every test known to man on him.
Lungs-good. Heart- good. Blood work-good.
Every test ruled out another 'maybe'.
Best diagnosis- MSA
(multiple system atrophy).
However, he doesn't meet all the criteria but-
it is the best they can agree on.
His blood pressure drops for no reason.
Sometimes it is 70/35.
Sometimes it is almost normal.
When his blood pressure drops-so does he.
The rescue squad came 3 or 4 times.
They tried various meds-none of them worked.
They tried various exercises-Nope-not that!
He was in bed about 70% of the time.
I became a full-time caretaker.
He would be up all night so I would sleep
in one to two hour increments and get up to check on him.
I was a short order cook and bottle washer. lol
The first of this year,
it all caught up with me.
I woke up one day and my foot/ankle 'hurt'.
By the first of February I could barely walk.
An old auto-immune issue I had 35 years ago
raised its ugly head.
It took every ounce of oomph to get through
a 24 hour period.
I was on meds and the first couple
rounds did not work.
Added other meds-nope-not working-
It hurt to even take a deep breath
and, meanwhile, I was helping hubby get up and down
when he needed to and also taking care of
2 sweet pups- Scruffy and Coco.
He is almost exactly twice her size/weight. 25#-13#
He is King of the World and she is the
Princess in Waiting.
In April, we assessed the situation hubby and I were in.
We decided that
hubby needed more help than I could give him
and I needed a true 'rest' so my body could heal.
Just down the street from us (7 blocks)
is a wonderful facility. It is one block
from where John was born and raised.
My kids insisted it was the 'best thing'
for both of us.
Hubby has a beautiful efficiency unit there.
They make sure he gets up and out of bed
and monitor his meds.
He gets three meals a day and
all the gals make a fuss over him.
He has lots of company from old friends
and our oldest daughter lives one block from his place.
Our youngest son also lives one block away.
The kids' homes back up to each other.
Both kids have picked him up for outings.
Our older son is also in town but
lives further out.
Our youngest daughter lives in Indiana
so she is not here very often.
It is hard for me to pick him up
and take him anywhere because
I have to fold up his walker and
take it in and out of our vehicle.
He uses a cane sometimes but it is not
supportive enough most of the time.
It has taken me about 8 weeks to start sleeping
through the night.
For five years I woke up
every hour or two to check on hubby.
My pain is manageable and I am getting better.
My one foot and ankle are still a challenge.
I have inflammatory arthritis.
Not rheumatoid-IA works on the muscles
and tendons and you can't 'see' it.
It is like having severe tendonitis all over.
As a bonus, I had to restart potty training Coco.
She is doing well but I had my beautiful living room rug
deep cleaned and have rolled it up and stored it.
Scruffy rings the doorbell when he has to go out.
She comes and 'looks at me' or, if I am sleeping,
she sneezes in my face.
Yep-wouldn't you know I would get a dog like that?!
She is so sweet I would forgive her anything.
She is half Scruffy's size but can chase him off if she so chooses.
They play beautifully together and it has given
me great joy to watch them bond.
He taught her a couple of naughty tricks-
no surprise there, right?
Anyway, I guess that's all I've got.
Just wanted everyone to know what has
been going on in my life.
Several of you have reached out to me
and I thank you for that.
I have not been a very good blogger
these past months and few years.
I hope to get back to it because I love
keeping in contact with all of you!
Keep us in your prayers and I will try to
"be a good girl"
and you all know that I am NOT very good at that!
Much love to all of you~
ps- Still got my sense of humor-
thank the good Lord---otherwise---
well....jail time does not appeal to me at all.
67 comments:
I will try to
"be a good girl"
....well, that doesn't sound fun at all!
...Diana, I'm so sorry to read this. You have gone through so much, but still have time and strength for others. My Mother always said that the golden years were golden. Never lose you sense of humor. You are in my prayers.
Diana,
I am so happy to hear you are doing better and as a former nurse, you made the best choice....Hubby will be well cared for and you will be able too visit and not strain yourself physically and even mentally as being a caretaker is daunting...I have been praying for both you and your hubby as you were kind enough to let me know what was happening...I will continue to pray for you both and your family as you deal with these challenging times...Thank you for sharing your story....I beleive it may help others who have to make this difficult decision....Take care!
Hugs to you, my friend!
Deb
Debbie-Dabble Blog
I am just so very sorry to lean of your health issues and will remember you both in prayer. Aging does not offer anything good it appears for so many of us....I hope their is calm, rest and relief of pain ahead.
Oh dear Diana, you really have been through a lot, and I am so very sorry for all that you and your hubby have been going through. It sounds like you were able to find a reasonable solution that is helping both of you, but I know it isn't ideal, and yet, maybe it is...from the sounds of it, he is in a place where many can come and visit and attend to his needs, and you can recover and heal from your own medical issues while not being that far away from him. I am glad that God has prepared this place for both of you, and also that He blessed you with two sweet little companions to give you comfort and some laughs. I pray that you will soon feel much better and be back to your old tricks...but take your time and let your body rest. Thank you for sharing these things with us. I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. (((hugs)))
You have all absolutely made the right choice. You and your husband will both be the better for it and will both be able to enjoy life again. Hugs, my friend.
I am so very sorry to read about all the health problems with both you and your husband. I'm sure the decision to have your husband make the move to the facility down the street was not an easy one. I'm glad that you are able to get the much needed rest and healing time.
You both are in my prayers.
You know this already, but I just adore you. And I will keep you in my prayers! See you on facebook! Xoxo
Oh my gosh, you've been going through some changes! Glad John is settling in his new place and you and the kids can pop in on him. Your place must feel empty now. Well, except for the two dogs. For about 2 seconds I thought about getting a second dog and then remembered Maggie's puppy days. Not sure I can handle the shark teeth and bathroom training again.
Oh goodness, I know this has been so difficult for you all. It’s frustrating not having answers and add the physical strain to all that too. I’m glad y’all have family close by. And may Scruffy and Coco bring lots of laughs ( they are so cute!). Praying for continued healing and rest.
I hate to read this news. Please know that you are in prayer and really hoping all things turn around for the best for you all. Huge hugs for you dear lady.
My sweet angel friend you have been through so much and still have your beautiful heart and sense of humor through it all. I am so happy that John is in a great place now and that will give you room to heal and breath again. I so wish I lived closer to help you. You will have a beautiful place in heaven some day for all you do for everyone. Scruffy and Coco have the best mommy and I know they keep you company and give you that unconditional love that you need. Love you sweet friend. Hugs. Kris
It seems you and I are destined to try and outdo each other, and our husbands are destined to see which one can get more work out of us. Yes, continue to be you, and be naughty when you can. You got Coco and not well trained, I got Shadow who was paper trained but no one knew it.
You two have been through so much! I am glad that your sweet hubby is in a place where he is comfortable and you are able to get your much needed sleep. Sending hugs.
I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this! Golden years aren’t so golden for many of us. I love how you write in your blog. I wish I had continued but don’t think I would have any followers anymore. It probably would have been better than sharing my life on Facebook, I will continue to follow you as long as you write.
Diana, many prayers are headed your way, you beautiful soul! I’m so happy that John has great care and family to visit. Keep that sense of humor for we all know the healing power of laughter! 💕💕
Cindy Cain 💕
Oh my, Oh my . . .
I can’t imagine how you’ve made it through each day.
Grab on to each spark of “good day” you can find.
I truly can’t imagine how you’ve endured.
If I lived near I would hug and help.
Since that isn’t so . . . suffice to say, I will pray,
Although the pups must take time and care,
I am happy you have that fluff and curl to touch and hold.
May God bless you and give you both days of ease and comfort,
You are in my heart!
Dear Diana, I am relieved John is in a good facility that cares for his every need. Sounds like it is perfect for you, John and your children. I am so sorry you were subjected to all of that pain. Maybe now, you can catch up on your sleep and get the relief you need. You are such a great caregiver. Scruffy and Coco are so cute and make wonderful companions to you and each other. I love that through all of this, you still have your sense of humor. Prayers with hugs and blessings. Xo
Prayers to you and your husband! We have never met, but my wife considers you a friend from your blogging days. She was an avid follower. You still have many blessings. Best for you and your family.
Thank you for the update on both John and you. Every night in my prayers, I tell the Father that I am waiting for news of your plans. Sounds like Yehovah knew this would be the right place for John; not far from your home and the grown children. Take care of yourself, your two little fur babies and keep us all posted.
HUGS! You have been such an awesome caregiver! I wouldn't expect anything less. God bless you and John. Take care of you. Praying for you both- and the kids. Love you!
Diana - i am so sorry you and your hubby are in this stage of life. I totally understand. All the dreams and plans for retirement fell apart when my John got sick. But I am so grateful that I could take care of him but his cancer took him in 18 months. It is so hard on the caregiver both physically and mentally. Am praying for you and your precious hubby. God is in control. Take good care of yourself. Judy Clark
Thank you for the update! I am not good at checking in on the blog world much anymore but I do think of you often. Sorry to hear of all you have been through but I love your humor and your willingness to share with us. Now I know specifically what to pray for for you! You are so strong and so loved!! AnnMarie from Musings of a Vintage Junkie
Oh Diana you certainly have been a trooper. That sounds like the best idea for John. So glad you are getting some relief from your own problems. I'm sure you will continue to get better now that the pressure is reduced on life's responsibilities. Sounds like the pups are fun and keep you happy! God Bless, Liz
Don’t ever lose your sense of humor and as for being a good girl, we’ll see about that. Love youDiana.
There comes a time when you need outside intervention and it sounds like the best for you and your Hero. So much for you and it’s no wonder your body started rebelling against you. Sounds like you’re in a season of regaining your health back. Thank God for those pups - they really do have a way with not taking life too seriously and they’re fun to watch and love on.
Continued prayers. God bless you.
I'm so sorry for all you're both going through. Keeping you in my prayers!
Thanks for the update. I have not been great blogging or even checking in on blogs lately. I simply scroll through FB and IG to play catch up. I am so sorry to hear all about the health issues. Praying for you and your hubby. Stay in touch. Uptown Acorn! Ron
You're so right - life can turn us upside down. I will be praying for you and your husband that the Lord will strengthen and help you both each day. Wanita
Oh sweet lady! I had no idea of John's history -- both with the cancer and recent decline. If that wasn't enough, then comes your own roller coaster. I'm sooo glad your kids helped solidify your decision making. Too, the fur babies are nearby with wet kisses and reasons to laugh.
Lifting bold prayers!
Oh Diana, I am so very sorry you and your husband are going through this.
Diana, I am so deeply sorry that the two of you are going through this. I went through a similar thing with my eldest who needed constant care; and he had to live home with me again. As someone ill myself it was extremely hard BUT like you, I did it. I prayed to get through it and I did. I will pray for both of you..I know largely what you're going through. Except that uncertainty of diagnosis. My son had his. XXX
I am so glad to see this update from you! I am so sorry for all you have been through. But it sounds like he is in a wonderful place, one that we should all be so lucky to live in if and when needed. And now you can concentrate on your own healing. You have a specialist for yourself? I hope they get you the right kind of medicine and along with taking it easy, you will be in remission again.
It's good to hear from you, Diana. I think we always worry when our blog friends drop out, knowing that for some it's blog apathy and for others a real -- and often unhappy -- reason that makes posting just "one more thing" to an already long list of obligations and tasks, even the tasks of love. The new situation sounds excellent -- close, with good care and near several family members. You are able to begin to heal, or at least get on top of things. You have humor, and that's huge. And you have heart and determination and wisdom. I see things improving for you (no, I don't make a living as a fortune teller, but your words, I think, are "cards" I can read!)
As for Coco, I have deep empathy. Lizzie (who is a cat, not a dog), after years of perfect "boxing" decided she'd rather not. Now I have puppy pads in her favorite spot (along with a box she'll use for number two but only if I'm present for number one.) I can't begin to cope with her neuroses so puppy pads are cheaper. (Costco has the best price, should you need them!)
Thanks for the detailed updates. Keeping you both - your entire family- in my prayers. Hugs, D. ♥♥♥
Thank You for the update. Sorry to hear about your husband and your health. Will keep you in our prayers. We have been having a rough time. We lost our sister in March. She was much older than us and was more like a second mother. We all lived together . It has been hard trying to go on day to day. God bless.
Marion and Marilyn
I had been wondering how you tissue doing. I am glad you found a good place for hubby. It must be so hard to do so but best for you both. I know it's difficult to deal with medical problems of someone else when you have your own. I have been dealing with systemic sclerosis which attacks my kidneys, digestive tract, lungs, heart, connective tissue and more. One day at a time. My niece has POT Syndrome which causes her to pass out. Even turning can do it. Requires specific tests to find out. She has dog that warns her when heart acts up so she can sit. I keep going 1 day at a time. Have been to 4 protests so far and another soon on June 14th.
I'm so sorry to hear about all you have had to cope with these past few years. You have been so strong and been there for everyone; it's time now for you to take care of yourself. Rest and recover and don't worry about blogging until you feel better.
I'm so sorry you both have been dealing with so much, Diana! I hope you are starting to feel much better. Sounds like your hubby is in a great place, and being doted on by staff. Glad you have your pups so keep you company, they are adorable! So glad to see that you still have that sense of humor that I love, despite all you've been through! Oh, and being a good girl all the time isn't always what it's cracked up to be:) Time to let loose, life's too short!
I'm sure it can't have been an easy thing to make the decision for John to move, but it was definitely the right one. It sounds as if he couldn't be better cared for, and right on your doorstep too, with lots of family nearby. It's great that you are finally getting proper sleep and space to heal after so many difficult years. You'll both have the benefits of being better able to enjoy and make the most of life now.
Sending you encouraging thoughts, Diana. You have had to make some difficult decisions. Prayers for your continued improvement, and also for John’s health issues. Proper sleep makes all the difference. So good to have family nearby for support! Love to you!
You are both always in my prayers, Diana. It sounds as if you found the perfect place for John. How lucky you are to have such a wonderful facility so close to family. I'm glad that you are starting to feel better and recover...and that you still have that fabulous wit. Love to you my friend. xo
Diana, thank you for catching us up on you and your Hero (and the pups). I am happy that you are able to get rest now and that you are healing. Your hubby is being cared for and how great that he is so close and the kids and good friends are loving on you both. You will both remain inn my prayers. xoxo
I’m so sorry. You have been dealing with a lot. I’m glad you now have some relief and starting to feel better. I know it’s not the best situation but the safest for now. Prayers for you both. The pups too. ♥️
Debby Messner
I am here for the summer and fall, until my great grand baby arrives. Sold my Florida condo. Am currently homeless. See you soon
Beautiful post
Please read my post
It had to be a hard decision, but I think it was the right decision for everyone. Prayers for you both!
I wondered about you two just the other day. I thought I had it rough. I learned I have a piece of graham cracker cake and you two have the dirty dishes. Prayers and luck! Miss you both
John Hollrith
My dad always told me "the golden years aren't so golden"... and it's true, getting older is full of struggles and disappointments. You have done so well in taking care of John, and it's equally important for your own health to be taken care of as well. I'm glad to hear you'll have help and still be close by, too. Many hugs to you, dear friend!
Oh Diana, I am so sorry you and your husband have been going through such a terrible time. I knew some of this update, but some of it I didn't know. His illness is puzzling, and I do hope they figure out the right treatment and care for him. It's good that he is near your daughter and son now, and they can come and pick him up for outings. I'm glad you are starting to feel better yourself, and are able to sleep through the night. You are so patient with those dogs of yours, and they are good companions to each other and to you! Take care of yourself, dear Diana, and I said a prayer last night for you and John.
~Sheri
♥️ ♥️, Virginia
Thank you for the update.
I have been praying for you, my Wisconsin blog friend. xx oo
I will continue to pray.
Love, Carla
Dear Diana, dear one you have been through so much. Although I’ve given up blogging pretty much, know I’ll be praying for you!
Live,
Noreen
Diana
I'm so sorry to read about this situtation. You have had your hands full for years. John sounds like he's in the right place. Getting visit from the kids and being close to them is great. You are so strong and have been doing so much for years. I will continue to send good thoughts yor way. Now you have to get rest and take care of yourself. Enjoy those two adorable fur babies. They have a way of helping us get through sturggles. Hugs and prayers for you!
Thank you for the update, Diana. I am so sorry to hear about what you and John have been going through. I can't imagine how hard it's been on you to be a FT caretaker and have your own medical maladies on top of it. I'm sure it was very hard to have to put John in a facility, but it's best for both of you. Please take good care of yourself. You and John are in my prayers. {{hugs}}
Oh, sweet friend. I am sorry for all this. Please continue to take care of yourself. And I will be praying for you both. Thank you for thinking of us!
Bless your heart, you have really been through it. I know it has been hard on you and your hubby. So thankful he is getting good care and prayers for both of you to get some rest and healing. I haven't been a good blogger either but pop in occasionally to let everyone know I am still around:). Have a blessed day dear friend, sending HUGS and PRAYERS your way!
Thanks for the update on the both of you. The facility sounds like a good place for your husband. I hope you are healing on the mend. Sending prayers and hugs your way.
I really appreciate the update and knowing how hard it is to write what you're going through. How wonderful that there is a good place for John to stay and I know he is well looked after by all those that love him, too. Care givers get sick and have health problems too so it's extra hard to keep things going, You've done great and I hope and pray I can keep my sense of humor. You are a blessing and inspiration to all of us. Love and hugs to you both, Diane
Somehow I missed this post last week. So sorry to read about all you've been through. Life is certainly a challenge at times. Will be praying.
I never go on fb anymore but, for what ever reason, I did a scroll today and saw your post. I'm so sorry to hear all that you have been going through, Diana. Your sweet hubby and I were kind of in the thick of things at the same time 10 years ago. Chemo and radiation usually does what it's supposed to do, but doesn't always leave us without any fallout later on. Treatments of any kind do not affect only the intended patient but so very often drastically affect the ones who love and care for us the most. My prayers to you for continued healing and rest, and prayers to your husband for whatever God's plan is. How wonderful that you found a facility so close to so many family members.
I've been wondering for a number of years, just who was the numbskull who came up with the "Golden Years" idea! I have a few choice things to say if I ever discover the idiot. Anywho, hang in there and good luck with those pups!
I'm a little late to this post, but thank you for sharing what you have been going through. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Sending lots of good wishes too.
All the best Jan
Sending much love and prayers,Diana! i too have not blogged in quite a while, due to health situations. Just hang in there. and keep that sense of humor!
Blessings,
Sue
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