AN UPDATE on MyHero CROSSING THE BRIDGE

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I know that not all of you visit 

The Caring Bridge

where I do updates on John's cancer journey.

I am copying and pasting my morning post here.

You don't need to comment-

although you are welcome to do so.

However, if you only have time to read and run

that is just fine, too.

Good Morning! 

We feel like we are crossing a bridge.  It's an old rickety bridge that spans the Cancer Chasm; a  bridge that has weak spots in the floorboards that could let one plunge through with a misstep. The guardrails on the sides are ineffective at best - no longer offering security as they once did.  There is nothing tangible to grab and hold onto.   It is a bridge that is not longer car worthy so you can't drive across it.  You have to walk slowly and skirt all the dangerous spots.  Sometimes you have to step on the weak spots even though you don't want to do so.  You carefully test that area before you put your full weight on it, breath a sigh of relief when it holds up under your weight, and then you carefully move forward to the next safe spot.  You don't look down because you don't want to know how far you have to fall--so you look straight ahead to the goal on the other side  and you look up to the heavens for help.

John has worked his way almost all the way across the bridge.  He has dealt with nausea, pain, burning, anxiety, fear, insomnia, exhaustion, weight loss, inability to swallow, frustration and all around discomfort. 

He has dealt with all those pitfalls admirably with determination and resolve.  He has been able to manage his nausea and pain with medications (most of the time).  He has learned to let me feed him and not complain about having to take 'one more Liquid Refreshment' (which most of you would call Ensure or something similar). At this point he sleeps quite a bit of the time.  It is hard for him to talk and concentrate so he is no longer visiting with people.  He has chemo brain (which he will deny so then you KNOW he has it) 

His biggest strength, of course, comes from the Lord.  He is in constant prayer-not only for himself but for others around him.  He prays for our kids and grandkids so that they can deal with the changes in Dad/Papa.  He prays for me (that I won't poison him when he is in a snit).  I have told him he is not allowed to touch the attendant during feeding time (me)-no matter how bad the jokes are.  Sometimes I can still get a smile out of him. 
  
He prays for the people we see at Bellin Cancer Center.  Some of the people we see there will not be cured and it is heartbreaking.  When this is all over he hopes to return to his position as a chaplain.  Although he has always prayed for people in the hospital, and felt sympathy for them, he now has a whole new understanding of the full range of emotions they experience. 

We are on the COUNTDOWN TO THE CURE here. We have one more week and one more day of treatment.  We feel like we can see the safe ground on the other side of that rickety old bridge. 

We thank you for all your prayers and good thoughts.  They have bolstered us on this journey. 

Have a wonderful weekend- Diana ps.  When I hit safe ground I am getting into a convertible and speeding away...and if MyHero is NICE to me I MAY take him with me!  Anyone got one of those police radar devices I can borrow? 

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A VERY QUICK UPDATE ON MY HERO!

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!!

THANK YOU!!!

Thank you for all your prayers!

His lung scan came back today.

 The small 'spots' are gone.

 The other spots remain unchanged

 so are most likely old scar tissue. 

 That is a huge relief

It means he can continue the treatment 

as it is outlined.

However, he has moved to 

a new stage of pain level.

 Please keep him in your prayers

 as we move to 

a stronger pain relief medication.

 He cannot take 

some of the more common ones and,

 because he cannot swallow,

 he can't take the time released ones.

 He will move to a pain relief patch 

at this point. 

Thanks again for all your prayers!

 We believe that miracles 

often come in small doses.

 There was a good chance

 that the cancer had metastasized 

to his lungs

and it appears that has not happened.

 

Praise the Lord!

SO- Y'all are

NOT FIRED

as pray-ers!

You did good!

Very, very good!

I will keep you posted!

Nurse Ratchett signing out

for the day!

PLEASE PRAY ABOUT THE CT SCAN SCHEDULED FOR TODAY

Good Morning!

Just wanted to share a picture of

MyHero with three of his granddaughters

at the annual

Daddy/Daughter Dance 

at their school

taken last Saturday night.

This will most likely 

be his last social outing

until his treatments are completed.

Sorry for the poor quality.

It was an Iphone in the entryway-

NO MOMS (or Nana) ALLOWED!

However,

that is not the real reason for this post.

I know- I know-

I feel like I am starting to sound like

A BROKEN RECORD!

We need some prayers here.

If you are not a pray-er, please

send us well wishes.

John has a CT scan scheduled today.

There were some small spots on his lungs

when he started this whole process.

They 'think' the spots may be from

something that he inhaled

when he had the severe infection

in his neck-

or a residual effect from that infection..

If that is the case,

the spots should either be gone-

or should have remained the same.

The spots were too small to biopsy

so the CT scan is the only way

they can track them.

Please pray there are no new spots

or that the ones that are there

have not enlarged--

or best case scenario--

the spots have disappeared!

I will let you know what happens

when we get the results back.

We are hoping to hear something

by Friday.

We need to get this old boy well

so he attend some more dances 

with these sweet girls..

Also, pray he can keep his weight steady 

and even gain a bit of weight.

I don't know about most of you,

but praying to gain weight 

is not something

I have ever done!

It just kind of goes 

against the grain, doesn't it?

Okay-Now that you all have been 

so patient with me and my requests,

I want to show you something pretty special.

This is my 13 year old granddaughter, Lulu,

dressed up for her last 

Daddy/Daughter Dance

at her school.

Isn't she a beauty?

I might be a little biased-lol

I can look at her here and picture

what she might look like as a bride someday!

Here she is with her two sisters.

Ria has 2 more years of 

Daddy/Daughter Dances

and SweetCheeks has 5 years to go!

Is there anything sweeter than sisters 

laughing together?

There you have it-

another dance step in our lives.

Hmmmm...maybe the old boy will take

ME dancing when his treatment is behind him.

I think there is a special event 

coming up at the 

VETERANS CLINIC 

where I volunteer.

I've got the perfect little number!

Won't MyHero be proud to be

seen with ME in THAT?!!??!!

Thanks in advance for your prayers!

Have a wonderful, blessed day!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY and A Health Update on My Hero

Valentine's Day!

I can't believe it is 

the middle of February already!

In some ways 

the past few weeks have flown past

and in some ways

they have dragged by 

hour after excruciating hour.

However,

One day while MyHero was up and about-

I got my sewing machine out.

I used to sew special things for 

Tara's little girls

so I thought it was time to sew 

SOMETHING SPECIAL

for little miss

BRIGHT EYES!

How cute is she?

The quality is not great.

It is an Iphone picture sent to me.

I guess she stole the show at her 

big brother's 

VALENTINE DAY at school!

Imagine that!!!!

She carries that 

BITTY BABY 

with her everywhere.

Of course, Bitty Baby had to have a 

MATCHING OUTFIT!

See the doll above?

SweetCheeks used to torture it by 

carrying it around with its head tucked

under her arm.

Only ONE EYE works!

Kinda scary looking 

when you lay her down flat!

(the doll-not SweetCheeks-lol)

Bright Eyes and Bitty Baby

both got matching underpants, too!

Sure do wish they lived closer

so we had more hands on

with her and her brothers.

That being said,

I am so thankful for kids 

that stay in touch

and that we can

FACETIME with them!

MyHero Update:

He is doing well.

Just finished Week 4!

He is halfway through at this point.

Our understanding is that each week will get

progressively harder on him.

We now have the feeding tube down to a science.

In the beginning he did it by himself.

It took at least an hour and was kind of a mess.

Working together 

we have a nice little game

we call

FEED THE ZOO ANIMAL!

We can do an entire meal for him in about 

fifteen minutes start to finish.

I do the cooking ahead of time and have it all

blended, pulverized and ready to 

HEAT AND EAT shove down the tube.

Hey!  At least he can't complain about my cooking.

Everything "tastes" the same to him.

I could feed him ANYTHING and he would

not know the difference!

Leftovers?  NO PROBLEM!

See--even in adversity there are bonuses!

He is feeling pretty good most of the time.

His throat is quite sore but he manages

the pain with just Tylenol at this point.

(that in itself is a blessing)

He has not suffered from nausea very often 

and that, too, is controlled by the medication.

All in all,

we are doing well.

We thank you for your prayers 

and good thoughts.

I hope you have a wonderful

VALENTINE'S DAY 

and that you have someone else in your life

so you can share the love that is in your heart!

As for me?

I won't be eating any chocolate today

in front of MyHero!

A QUICK REMINDER ABOUT FASTING--

This is for those of you that

asked for a reminder to

FAST TODAY.

Click HERE to read more.

I know the fast was started for

John (MyHero) and myself

BUT 

please add my friend, Gert, 

to your prayers.

She lost her dear husband, Tom,

 on Saturday

If you are not a pray-er-

please send your best wishes 

for those that are fasting.

Also, please add my friend, Laura,
to your prayers.
She is now seeking some alternate
treatments for her cancer
because the chemo has stopped working.

I believe in miracles!

Thanks to all of you

that participate in 

ANY WAY--

even just by sending good thoughts!

MY HEART IS ABSOLUTELY BROKEN FOR MY FRIEND GERT~

I was not going to post for a while

but God had other plans in mind for today.

My blogging friend, Gert,

lost her precious husband, Tom, yesterday.

He has left earth for his

HEAVENLY HOME.

This is the picture Gert posted

on her blog last night.

The name of her blog is

Gert, Tom & Rusty Too.

Rusty is their dog

who doesn't understand that 

Dad is gone.

Late last fall Tom, 

got ill and was hospitalized.

He has always been such a strong man~

Everyone thought he would have surgery

and then be okay.

Gert, as many of you know,

has MS and Tom was such a great,

 loving husband, friend,

and earthly caretaker.

Theirs was a marriage of love and devotion

that made others envious.

Sadly, Tom's big, generous heart

quit beating yesterday.

He got so tired 

that the Lord took him home.

While he is beyond all 

pain and suffering now,

Gert and Rusty are left on their own

to cope with this heartbreaking loss.

PLEASE LIFT 

Gert in prayer today

and in the upcoming days.

You can pop by

HER BLOG HERE

and leave her a message.

It may help ease her pain just a bit

to know how much she is loved.

Rest In Peace, Tom.

We will see you

OVER THERE!

Thank you all so much.

Tomorrow is the fast for John's health

you can read about that here and here.

Please attach Gert's name to that fast.

Love you Gert!

Love all of YOU blogging friends, too!

FEBRUARY 1ST- FASTING For Faith and Healing

You know I have never

had any trouble asking for prayers for others.

However, it is not in my nature to ask

for anything for myself.

I just have a hard time doing that.

A wonderful blogger,
who wanted to remain anonymous
until I put the squeeze on her because
of the great post she wrote about fasting,
Deb-Frugal Little Bungalow

put a call out for a day of fasting on 

behalf of my husband and myself

to take place on Monday - February 1st.
She explained all the different ways to fast.
For some it might be as simple as
skipping one meal that day-
or giving up snacks you would usually have.
You can read the wonderful post
she wrote about fasting here.

Now, those that know me well

know that 

FASTING IS NOT 

part of my vocabulary.

I think fasting is waiting 10 minutes

after my meal

to eat a bowl of ice cream.

Yep- that's me!

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However, I am going to join

that wonderful blogger and 

those that have agreed to fast for us, too.

I will fast and pray for my hubby's health 

and continued strength as he fights this battle.

Fasting is different things for different people.

I am going to choose a modified fast-

SUN UP to SUN DOWN

on Monday, February 1st!

So glad for these short winter days-whew!

Because I get up very early
I am going to eat an early breakfast
and drink clear fluids all day-
Clear fluids for me are water,
with or without lemon or lime,
and clear chicken broth.

IF you care to join us - please do so.

If it is not something you are comfortable with-
or you have a medical condition or-
you take food with medications...

just wing a little prayer up for us instead.

Bless all of you.

We are so thankful for those that leave us

comments and well-wishes and 

pray on our behalf

and send us their love.

You all are just

THE BEST!

THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU-

For those of you that choose to fast on Monday-

I'll send you an apple pie Tuesday.
I mighta lied about the pie......

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I will put up a reminder on Sunday sometime.

CUTENESS Might Be The Cure!

Even in the midst of illness

there are many things 

to make us smile.

Our youngest granddaughter 

is such a 

BRIGHT SPOT 

in our lives.

We had a special event the 

first week in January

that I will share a bit later.

Little Miss

BRIGHT EYES

was dressed for the occasion.

The photographer

Alyssa, Witteaphotography

 said our little

Anna Ireland (Bright Eyes)

got on the "stage" 

with no prompting 

and proceeded to ham it up.

Here are just a few of the many pictures

she took.

HERE I COME!

TAH-DAH!

What? What?

Sure I can dance!

What? What?

You want to see me 

SPIN?

Okay- Here I go!

HEY!  Even the

BEST DANCERS

fall down sometimes.

Just ask my Nana-

She's fallen on her butt 

a few times but you won't

be seeing any pictures of that here!

Okay- That's all the cuteness

I can pack into one post!

We have a long day yesterday.

We were at the cancer center for about 

SEVEN HOURS-

Chemo, radiation, Dr. appointments

and assessments.

Thinking of this cute little face  

kept us smiling all day!

Hope YOU ALL have a great week
with lots of smiles thrown in for good measure!

GOOD MORNING from The Caring Bridge for John Kosmoski

I set up a website at 

THE CARING BRIDGE

for 

JOHN KOSMOSKI

By clicking on the link above or

HERE

it will take you right to the website.

The Caring Bridge asked for my contact list.

I gave them the whole thing so if you

get more than one notice

please don't send me hate mail.

You know me and 

TECHY stuff!

I barely know what I am doing

all the way around -life included.

Today is the first day of 

John's treatment.

Four hours of strong chemo

AND

radiation.

I will keep you all posted.

Thank you so much for your 

prayers and support.

I will try to keep a daily post 

(or every other day)

on 

The Caring Bridge.

You can catch up there whenever you have time.

I think you have to sign in to 

access the site but it is safe to do that.

I have followed several

"journeys" that way.

We are off and running!

Wish us luck!

ps----MyHero is still 

"napping" with his little buddy

but I will haul him out of here soon!

The Cancer Carousel- Round and Round We Go. Update #3

I just want to keep you all updated.

Please do not feel you have to 

leave me comments.

You are more than welcome to do that 

but if you just want to come and read

that is perfectly okay.

I know EVERYONE is busy-

especially after the beginning of a 

NEW YEAR!

I just know y'all are dieting and exercising

and taking piano lessons 

and learning to paint and...

OH-WAIT!

That was LAST WEEK!

Now it is time for the 

REAL NEW YEAR 

to kick in!

So- I have discovered that  this journey

into cancer is like being on a 

CAROUSEL!

The Cancer Carousel!

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You go round and round and round-

sometimes feeling dizzy from all

the information thrown at you-

sometimes feeling a bit disoriented

after all the procedures needed 

for effective treatment.

Here's where we are on

The Cancer Carousel..

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We are on the innermost horses

trying to work our way out to the outer edge

so we can hop off this 

Merry-go-round.

As of yesterday, MyHero, John

had a feeding tube put in

(yes-that is a good thing)

and a port for chemo/blood work

and they did a few more biopsies on his throat.

Close your eyes here if you are squeamish.

I OFFERED 

to rig up a feeding

tube for him.

I found a great one on eBay

but he didn't seem too excited about it

so I let it go.

I think it is still available in case

you have someone that is not

quite as fussy about those things as

MyHero is!

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They are trying to find the primary source

of the cancer-thus the other biopsies.

IF they can pinpoint that,

the area of radiation will be smaller-

smaller area-less damage.

Starting a week from Monday

he will have 37 days of radiation in a row

(weekends off)

Every Monday he will have chemo.

On the days he feels he can do so

he will go for physical therapy for

mild strength training.

The Cancer Carousel 

continues to turn

and we are just waiting to grab the 

GOLD RECOVERY RING

at the end.

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It will be worth the ride

at the end!

Thank you ALL for your continued

prayers and support.

You're the best!

Love you guys!

MEDICAL UPDATE on My Hero- Part 2

Thank you to all of you that have
reached out with prayers and good thoughts,
cards and letters and gifts!
Thanks, too, for the
inquiries as to how we are doing.
It was kind of a 
BLUE CHRISTMAS 
around here---
but not in the way you might think----
more like THIS WAY----

While we celebrated a 
BLUE CHRISTMAS 
in the family room, 
 we were 
PINK with HAPPINESS
when they let MyHero 
come home for Christmas.

Anyway-

I didn't want to make you wait too long

for an update..

Sometimes you wonder how much information is 

TOO MUCH INFORMATION-

and sometimes you know there are things you 

CAN SHARE and things you 

CAN'T (or shouldn't)  SHARE.

So- here goes-

I guess this will be a sort of record

for all of us as we hit the path to

CONQUER CANCER.

After 12 days in the hospital 
John came home on the 23rd.
We were able to spend
CHRISTMAS DAY 
with our family at our daughter's house.
John was able to sleep there
for several hours and enjoyed
his awake time watching the kids.

He still has an infection in his neck
but it is getting better.
They pulled the drain out today and that 
is one more step towards being
able to treat his cancer.

We asked them to put a pic line in
so that I can give him his IV treatment
at home.
That has worked out quite well.
He is mostly out of pain at this point
but is tired a lot of the time.

We see the oncologist and the 
radiologist on the 4th of January.
We are hoping that they feel the infection
has cleared enough that he will be able
to start treatment on the cancer itself.

We feel like we are in limbo
but know that is where we need to be
at this point.

We have a family wedding to go to on
Saturday and we are looking forward to that.
John was supposed to perform the ceremony
but will do a small part in the service instead.
That is okay.
The only BLUE we are feeling right now
is that soon I will be taking
our tree down and didn't have much time
to enjoy it this year.

However,
We are looking forward with optimism
to 2016.
We are expecting the miracle of healing
to take place-
even if that healing comes in the form of
radiation and chemo-
a "modern miracle" if you will.

I hope you have a blessed,
wonderful, light-filled 2016.

I will keep you posted as we go along.
Blessings and love to all of you-
You are just
THE BEST BLOGGING BUNCH EVER!

I have to give you a smile for the day:
Ryan, our youngest son, came up to
the hospital with us today so he
could take his dad home and I could
leave for an appointment I had for myself.
He said-when the Dr. was examining John-
"You know my cat has now cost me about
$1900. and he isn't getting any better. 
I'm gonna have to 
make a decision about him soon.  
I'd hate to be doing the same for you, Dad,
but these costs are really starting to add up."
John laughed- I laughed 
AND
even the Doctor had to laugh.

I do think laughter heals a lot of wounds!
As you can see- the nut doesn't fall
too far from the tree.