Sunday, February 26, 2023

STORY OF MY LIFE WITH ROXIE THE BURRO

THE STORY OF MY LIFE 

WITH ROXIE THE BURRO 



I rarely write long, story-like posts but

there is no way to shorten this one. 

So, grab a coffee, or vodka and read away.


I had a wonderful brother~ CS Charlie (I will tell you all someday what the CS stands for- it has something to do with poultry & excrement and that’s all I’m saying for now no matter how hard you beg). 

I hope he is smiling down from heaven on this blog today because he would certainly remember Roxie The Burro. 

Mr Ed (the talking horse)

had nothing on her. 

She had her own way of communicating.


When we were kids we wanted a horse. My father had plow horses but they weren’t for riding so we were always begging for a pony. 

My father thought that a pony might be a bit "dangerous" so he started looking around for a suitable substitute. What do you think he found? Aha! I see you have already peeked at the picture. I’ll bet you thought it was a donkey, didn’t you? Well, you can bet an ass it is NOT a donkey (or an ass)-it is a burro. No purer form of stubbornness has ever existed-
(except for Scruffy the Cockapoo-my current boyfriend)
Don't let that sweet face fool you!



I remember clearly the day we picked Roxy up. 
It was down in the Valley and my father let me go along. 
He also took the hired hand, Louie Wheeler, with us. 
My father traded a cow for the burro...
let me tell you...
I think he got screwed 
but that was his own doing. 

We got Roxie loaded up into the back 
of the 1953 Chevy truck and 
started home with her. 
think there were two stop signs 
in Athens, PA. at the time.

 At both stops Roxie 
threw her head back and 
brayed til Kingdom Come. 
She was a brayer extraordinaire! 

My father laughed almost as loud 
as she brayed 
but I can remember Louie 
slumping over in his seat 
and pulling his hat down a bit.
 
As I got older 
I realized that it was because 
he didn’t want anyone to recognize him 
and connect him with 
the unspeakable sight 
riding behind him.

We got her home....
Oh boy! oh boy! Oh boy! 
I can’t WAIT to get on that "horsie" 
(as I called her). 
Careful-careful-get on her carefully, 
my father admonished me.
 
Ever so gently I was placed on her back. 
Hmmmm...she didn’t like that much 
so she sat down. 
Try again- haul Roxie to her feet 
and I get back on. 
She sits down again. 
My father thought 
we should give her a break 
and let her get used to the place. 

She had a nice little barn off the main barn with a lowered door frame...
remember this because 
it is important later in the story.

 Roxie would, on occasion let us ride. 
However, we learned to not ride any farther from the barn 
then we wanted to walk home. 
The first time it happened 
I was up in the back field 
and quite a distance from the barn.

She got tired of carrying me around. 
First she lowered her head down 
hoping I would slip off....ah...
but I had learned her tricks! 
Next she dropped to her knees in front-
No go-this cowgirl is hanging on 
and staying straight-
even if my feet are flat on the ground.
 
Uh Oh-this isn’t working...
Let’s try ROLLING. 
There is NO way you can stay on a rolling burro-
take my word for it. 

Mission accomplished-she gets up-
takes one glance back-
 and merrily trots back to the barn riderless-
God bless her soul 

Yeah, yeah...I hear the Christians among us
 and I AM a believer but THEY say
-animals don’t have souls but–
the way she looked at me-the depth in those eyes...
Okay! Okay!..no soul, I get it-
Okay-God bless her anyway!

If, for some reason, she was out 
and spotted the barn, 
and didn’t ditch you first, 
she would lay her ears flat back 
against the side of her head and 
RACE towards the barn. 
You had to hold on and duck 
because a low door 
to the stall did not stop her. 

However, it WOULD stop you 
if you are sitting upright. 
You know-no matter how good/bad/ugly 
that old burro was- 
we loved her and 
she was a fun part of our childhood. 

Thinking of getting one now, are you? 
Well, I do have one piece of advice for you. 
It’s simple to understand-
IF you are thinking about getting a burro- DON’T! 

NOW-just wondering because I am used to doing short posts,
Do you like reading these longer 
story-like posts
or do I keep them short?
Inquiring minds want to know.

ps-Today is my father's birthday.
There is rarely a day that goes by
that I don't think of him.
He died when I was 21.

He would love this story.
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Monday, February 20, 2023

THERE'S MORE THAN ONE DUMMY IN THIS FAMILY!!!!! Make Me Laugh Monday

 There’s a dummy in the house.

 Not the usual one either.

 Only at MY house would there be a real live dummy! 

(well, he’s not really alive but you know what I mean)

This is a story from some time ago

so bear with me.



 Mortimer Snerd 

was found at Goodwill by none other than the Tpot and Mimi.

 Not to be outdone by their brother, 

MamasBoy, who had always 

played tricks on them, 

the two sisters 

decided that pay-back 

was in order.


The first call woke him  up late at night. 
When Mamasboy answered a voice rasped,
 "Let me out of this box!" 

Being a quick thinker, 
even in the dead of night, 
Mamasboy looked at the number 
and it was not one he recognized. 

He hit redial and a sleepy voice answered...
"Yeah..whaddaya want?" 
He apologized, said he had a wrong number, and hung up.

 Little did he know that for the next few weeks 
he would be plagued by phone calls from strange numbers,
and have even stranger remarks 
rasped into his phone.
 
AND Little did he know that his sisters 
had cajoled other people into letting them use their phone 
at any given moment to make a call.

First MamasBoy called Mimi, 
"Knock it off"he told her. 
"Knock what off?" she asked quite innocently..."

Yeah...like you don’t know-quit calling me". 
"I’m not" she replied very seriously. 

Then he called Tpot-
Very funny!" he told her. 
"What’s funny?" she asked. 
You know what’s funny," he told her, 
"and quit calling me".
"I’m NOT calling you", she said
 and asked what he was talking about.

The calls got more and more desperate 
and the raspy voice got louder- 
"LET ME OUTTA THIS STINKING BOX- I CAN’T BREATHE".

 Now MamasBoy worked with police departments at the time,
 so he did a little follow up on the phone calls.
 Nothing made any sense and 
he still couldn’t figure it out. 

He even called me to ask if I 
was in on the joke...
I played dumb 
and let me tell you-
I am so good at that you would think it was real-
 hey-watch your mouth-I heard that...
I told him I had no idea what was going on.

Finally, when he was to the point of 
being totally freaked out, 
a box arrived at his door. 
I think he was afraid to open it-
although he swore he wasn’t. 
Inside was a note that said- 
GOT YOU DUMMY! 
And so they had!


Here’s the sad thing-
He learned to throw his voice and make the stupid thing talk. 
You know what was even worse? 
He bought another one 
at a garage sale and now 
Mortimer has a friend, William.
 
Here’s what’s even sadder-he used them to scare Tpot’s kids when they were little.


Like I said--there is more than
ONE DUMMY 
in this family!
You know- like
Dumb and Dumber!

So, there you have it-
your laugh for the day
and a memory recorded here
for future generations....


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Monday, February 13, 2023

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY-PICK YOUR FAVORITE TABLE--WOW! WHAT A TURNOUT!

  Well, folks-

 #1 is all by itself because 

I do can only do collages of 9 

so bear with me- it will be at the end!


Instead-

We are starting seating with:

#2-PINK ROSES

NancyM, Judy (says she is NOT an idiot-okay), Kris,

Good old Viv picked 2 & 8! I think this might be her first time playing so I will hold the punishment for not picking ONE table--but next time, Viv........  Carol Z & Carol S,  MaryJane & Bless

#3-CHALKY CHARMING RUNNER

bobbie, Mevely, Pam, Carol/Slater'sFunnyFarm'

#4-RUBY STEMWARE

Jen, Debra/SheSeeks, Jan, Kay, Nancy, Brenda, Carla, Jane, Janie(has to have a cookie) Rose & Roxy

#5-SWEET WHITE ROSE

Happy, Ellen, LisaK, Allie & Jo

#6-PINK BOWTIE NAPKINS

Gina, Bazza (thanks for playing), MaryE

#7-BLACK & WHITE & RED ALL OVER

Jack&Sherry, Michelle D-(then said- Nope-Meant the other table), Cindy, Missy, Woody(Hi guy), DebbieN, Kitty(watch your napkins-she might take it),Ann, Terri D & dear DawnP!

#8-POLKA DOT HEARTS

DebbieW, MA, JudyC, Sue, Michelle-(moved from table 7) Vee, Unknown-(but this is her "jam"), Ginny, Diane/Lavender, Kim, Jeanie, Latane, Liz, Vonda, Nonie, Julie/Creative, Fran, CynthiaO)& SweetSheri

#9 TULIPS FOR TWO

Well, gonna have to change this to

TULIPS FOR TWENTY, I guess.

Sandi (interested in what the tablecloths says-it says-quit the chit-chat and start eating), Jettie(bringing her dog,Shadow so watch your plate-I know ALL about this dog), PamK, Laura, Yvonne(not fond of pink but OH THOSE COOKIES), Sally(reminds her of a beautiful story which she DID NOT share:>), Sandie, Lynne, Nellie, Denise, Dianeh, RitaC, Theresa, Lisa & BonnieS-(here to drink Lisa's wine)

#10-PINKLY PRETTY

Louise, PamS, Lorrie, Melanie, LaurieS, LindaC, UNKNOWN, Donna, Cecilia, Bonnie, Marilyn, Mrs.White and Tiffany!

So-wondering not IF I missed anyone but wondering WHO I missed!  lol

I got the names from my comments but also from the comments left on Facebook...bear with me in getting it right-I'm old!

I am sure you all will let me know if I forgot you or put you at the wrong table because you know how you are!


Thanks again for playing along.

It is worth the work for all the fun!

AND 

last but not least~

NEUTRAL & NICE

TOM-(for the first time ever found a table that is plain enough for him but did say it was NOT environmentally friendly...gotta love my guys here-they pick on a whole different level than the gals!) Also here-BillieJo, KatieIsabella(a cat) and Shari(my Irish friend that says she is here because it is plainer and I must give her chocolate and/or carmels! Yep..that's my friend!


Thanks again for playing along.

It is worth the work for all the fun!

I am spending my romantic night with

my sweet boyfriend!

He has one eye hidden or he is winking at me?!


HAVE A WONDERFUL

VALENTINE'S DAY AND IF YOU

ARE CELEBRATING 

BY YOURSELF,

DO SOMETHING SPECIAL

JUST FOR YOU!

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Tuesday, February 7, 2023

PICK YOUR FAVORITE-VALENTINE'S DAY TABLE

  Happy Early Valentine's Day!

So--

PICK YOUR FAVORITE

VALENTINE DAY TABLE!

How about some luncheon tables?

How about you pick your favorite?

How about you only pick ONE?

#1

NEUTRAL AND NICE



#2 PINK ROSES


#3
CHALKY CHARMING RUNNER


#4
RUBY STEMWARE


#5
A SWEET WHITE ROSE


#6
PINK BOWTIE NAPKINS

#7
BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER

#8
POLKA DOT HEARTS

#9
TULIPS FOR TWO

#10
PINKLY PRETTY


I couldn't decide which seven to pick
so I went all out.
You have TEN CHOICES this time!

KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT~
Well, not literally-
I want you to be conscious enough to vote!

I will be back soon with the results.

Meanwhile-I have been doing a lot of sorting
and purging and organizing.

And that feels SO good!
I have been too busy to put up my little
pink Valentine's Day tree this year.
Oh-Well...

OK-Enough about me!

 So-vote now-m'kay?
Go on-
VOTE!
Don't just sit there!!!!
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Sunday, February 5, 2023

A BROTHER NEVER LEAVES YOUR HEART-REST IN PEACE CHARLIE

  

TEN YEARS AGO TODAY

my brother, Charlie,

walked into the hospital ER
because he wasn't feeling well.

On February 5th,  2013,
 4:04 pm he left the hospital.
He didn't leave the way we hoped,
nor the way we expected.
He went to a different home
then the one he left that last Tuesday.

He developed a very rare cancer
that affects less than 1% of
cancer patients.  It is fast moving
and there is less than a 1% chance
of survival.

I  struggled trying to figure
out why this has happened.
Then a peaceful thought came to me.
Our little granddaughter,
Anna Bella, 
needed an Uncle
to keep her company.
A great-uncle.
Great in more ways than one.

Wasn't he a cute little boy?
We knew that last morning that his
time to be with us was to be
short-lived.
They put him on a morphine drip
and he gently drifted away
without pain.

What you don't know about
my brother is that he was a 
joker-He loved to make
people laugh.
He was the "smiliest" person
I ever knew and he
dearly loved a good joke.

You know, even in moments of 
blinding pain there are
sparks of laughter,
After we said our good-byes and 
gave him permission to go "home",
we were all sobbing.

I told him: "You are so, so loved here
and Mom & Dad
and our grandparents and 
uncles and cousins and family
are all waiting for you-waiting to
welcome you to Heaven".

My sister-in-law added...
"And Snow White".
What? I asked.
Maybe you read a different
Bible then I do cuz I don't
think Snow White is in Heaven.

Everyone in the room erupted
in laughter.
In the burst of laughter
my brother, Charlie,
took his last breath of
life on this Earth.
We knew then that he 
was free to go because
in spite of our sadness
there was one last smile for him.

Snow White was Charlie's cat
that had passed over 
The Rainbow Bridge.

I'm betting that right now,
up in Heaven,
he is setting our little Anna Bella
up to some mischief
just like  I my father used to 
set him up.

He passed so-so peacefully,
with nary a complaint.
You did good, Charlie,
very, very good.

Now I feel like I have a 
GUARDIAN ANGEL
that watches over me.

As a family, we have moved on,
walking different paths than the ones 
we were on and that is okay.
Happy memories keep us company
on those days when we mourn
our earthly loss.

Take a moment today to 
tell someone you love them.
If there are rifts in your family,
mend them while you have time
for tomorrow is never guaranteed
and there are no "do-overs"
when death comes to visit.

Have a wonderful, blessed day.
I hope YOU have a 
GUARDIAN ANGEL
in your life!

 

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Thursday, February 2, 2023

MAKING VALENTINES WITH GRANDKIDS---START WITH PROZAC-END WITH WINE

I wrote this a long time ago

but I think it deserves a repeat~


 Grab something with caffeine because

you will be tired when you are done reading this.

Step One:
First you must hang a banner inside 
so the grandkids
will know which holiday they 
are celebrating.

Just a word of caution..
If you hang one
that looks like
the one below..
SOMEONE
(who shall remain nameless)
will be sure to ask..
IS HIMS NAKED?

Your reply should be
Absolutely..
That is why he is
carrying an envelope.
This is sure to produce
a giggle from at
least 2 of the 3 grandkids.
The third one doesn't giggle.

She doesn't giggle 
because she doesn't
"get it".  
She is trying to figure out 
where HIMS got that big of an envelope.


Step Two:
You must lay out supplies.
These will cost somewhere
in the neighborhood
of $459.00...and....
after you buy
ALL THAT STUFF,
you will realize that you have
forgotten at least one or
two crucial supplies..
Like...
Elmer's WASHABLE glue. 
Lord help you if you buy the 
regular Elmer's glue
because it will NOT be pretty!


Now that you have
your supplies home
and have signed the bank loan
to cover the expense..
you must lay out the goodies...
Lay them out nice and neatly..
Sigh over the paper-Oh So Sweet

Step Three:
HANG A FLAG OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR.

A cute little cherub flag
to greet them with a smile.
Isn't it perfect?
Love Mary Englebriet's flags.
Then they arrive bringing presents.
Bringing PRESENTS?
PRESENTS FOR ME?
Yep-these are for Nana..
and they made them all by themselves.

Inside are beautiful little
hearts made with love..
One from Ria.
Two from Lulu...
and one from SweetCheeks.
Of course I must put them all on..
I pick up SweetCheeks...
What does this say, SweetCheeks?
That's jus' sumbuddy ehlse's name
on there...Doan't pay eny
attenshun to the name...
just putt it on..
Whereupon I am informed
by Lulu that
"I told SweetCheeks
NOT to give you that one".
Whereupon SweetCheeks says
NOAH.YOHU.DIDN'T.LULU
an' I dohn't care cuz I am ghiving
it to her enyways! PFFFFFT!
I start the legal paperwork
to change my name to Allison.
Great.. We are off
to a nice, calm start...

Now where were we?
Okay..girls..
Let's get started...
WHO WANTS TO MAKE A VALENTINE?

Everyone's hand shoots into the air.

In short order everything
 looks like this.....
All three girls are
Busy-Busy-Busy
Lulu made this-
 Ria loved the self-stick hearts...

SweetCheeks has changed into 
her 3rd Princess outfit and has busied herself
making th...........
Oh, Dear Lord In Heaven...
While I was refilling my coffee cup,
pray tell WHO handed HER 
the glitter?

There is glitter glitter everywhere..
On the floor and on the chair..
In her mouth and on her hair....
I could go on and on with the
rhyming thingy but I'm afraid
the Dr. Suess police will get me.


An especially nice touch? 


The globs of
glue that dropped here and there
and shine brightly up
from the chair...and the table...
and the floor...and the countertop...
Did I say floor? Ah..yes...
and back to the glitter...
Nothing like glitter on the floor
that can be tracked from
room to room..
Leave NO ROOM untouched
seems to have been the motto
of the day.
I decide I need a bathroom break
to dispose of the 3 gallons of coffee
that I have downed in an effort
to keep up with this
CRAFT DAY WITH THE KIDS.
Lo and behold,
in the small reading nook
(where the old steps used to be)
I SEE THIS!!!
How did all these books get off
the shelf and on the floor?
I ask ever-so-sweetly-
between slightly gritted teeth.
Uh-oh---Here it comes...

Welllll...says SweetCheeks..
Ria toohk a few books off
the shellf and then I helped her
and taked the rest offf..and
we jus' put 'em there for now.

Yeah? Where do you think
you're gonna put them later?

Wellll...It was Ria's idea.
I dunno how they gonna
get bahck on the shelfs.

Hmmmm...I dunno where YOU'RE
gonna go either if you guys don't put
these books back.
All too soon-
hahahahahahahaha
the day ends and we clean up the
mess, they put on their matching
dresses that Nana bought them
 and they get ready to go home.
As you can plainly see 
SOMEONE has been so overworked
she has collapsed in a heap
using her sisters as pillows.
These little girls are big girls now...
but I love them as much as I did 
when they were little like this...
even more...

Kind of bittersweet to look back on 
these special times.

I may invite them over to
do this again this weekend. 

If you don't see me by Monday
I will be glued to a seat somewhere
in the house.
I hope it is in a chair in front of
the computer.

Edited to add:
MyHero reads my blog and says:
 You SPENT $459 ON THIS STUFF?
(Sheeez...don't ya know a joke when you read one?;>)

And -just in case you are wondering-
I don't use prozac or wine-
I just suffer quietly instead.
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