OCTOPUS ON THE ROCKS- A DELICACY I SERVE ALL THE TIME---Told in Nana Diana STORY FORM

This, my friends, is

FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
What we are going to talk about today is 
The Feeding Frenzy For Little Ones
otherwise known in some circles 
(those without children) 
as Lunchtime.

Join me at the table as we get set up. 
Places please! 
Are your hands washed? 
Three little girlie
heads nod up and down. 
Okay- Sit! 
No SweetCheeks! 
That is NOT your chair. 
Your chair is the one 
with the plastic wrap over the seat- 
Good, good...
Player number three has assumed the position
 I think that's what it's called-
I don't watch a lot of football-okay-
I go to the football PARTIES-
I pretend that I am watching football...
but basically, 
I am making jokes 
at everyone else's expense- 
 So, Player #3 has taken her place. 
Ria wants to sit on the bench 
with the pillows.
That is her favorite spot. 

pinterest
However, there is a small glitch in this plan. 

SweetCheeks is sitting NEXT to the bench. 
That means that she can, 
at any given moment, 
touch the food on Ria's plate~ 
That makes Ria scowl and howl. 
This will NOT work.
 Shift SweetCheeks. 
She does NOT want to move
 because she can't SEE. 
See? See what? 
It's got nothing to do with 
the view out the window-
it has everything to do with 
"seeing" Ria's plate. 
Too bad, so sad-
You're moving because....
the bench is built in and can't be moved. 
Okay-two down...One to go...
Lulu can sit anywhere because 
she will mind her p's and q's. 
Well, most of the time-
we might discuss this later.
Lulu sits in a chair.


Now, we throw 
ANOTHER player into the queue. 
It is MyHero! 
He has heard the word FOOD- Lunch? 
Where is HE supposed to sit? 
Lulu is in his "regular" place-
whatever that means...
since when did God stamp 
YOUR NAME on THAT chair
I ask ever so nicely(not)....
MyHero takes the only seat left.
It is next to SweetCheeks. 

YAYY-She says...Papa is sitten wif me. 

"I don't want to sit by her", he whines-
"She touches me with her greasy hands." 

"Dey NOT greeeezy,Papa! she exclaims-
 rubbing her hands on his shirt to show him. 

Players #1 & #2 are giggling
as MyHero inspects his shirt sleeve.
Sadly, he cannot find any grease.

What are we having you ask?
Here it comes, folks! 
My super-secret special meal 
that EVERY kid will devour 
with joy in their hearts. 
What is it you want to know.....Ready? 
OCTOPUS ON THE ROCKS! 

Stop gagging...
you will love this, I promise. 
Here is how you fix it. 
Take one hot dog. 
Split it in half leaving about 1-1/2" unslit.
 Cut the slitted sides into "legs"
Yes...yes...now you are getting the idea. 
Cut each side about 3 times. 
This will give you a 6 legged octopus 
(which no one will comment on
 until they get to Kindergarten 
and know it has 8 tentacles). 
Stand him (or her) upright on a paper plate.
Spread the legs out and put in the microwave.
 Zap it for 1 minute. 
The legs will curl up a bit-perfect. 
Put two dots of ketchup on for eyes 
and 1 big one for a mouth. 
Great~ Good Job! 
Now, the rocks 
(which you have made beforehand and have waiting on the stove) 
That happens to be macaroni & cheese. 
The trick is it MUST BE the shell kind 
Octopuses /Octopi?-
 DO NOT LIKE
to sit on any old macaroni.
You need SHELL shaped macaroni. 
I like the Velveeta brand cuz it's easy. 

(yeah...yeah...I know...y'all make yours from scratch-it sucks to be you). 

So, make a nice little mound of shells 
on the plate. 
Plop Mr.Octopus in the center...
Make a  big smile-y mouth 
the first time 
you serve this
so you don't
 scare the Bejesus out of the kid. 
Then, ah yes...
what is the vegetable 
to go with this delectable dish 
you want to know? 

It is SEAWEED. 
That's right! SEAWEED-
also known as Spinach. 

Your kid doesn't eat spinach? 
You will be surprised and amazed. 
You will be overcome with joy-
you will almost faint-
You will send me letters 
of praise and blessings~
Yes! They do eat spinach
 IF they think it is seaweed!
 (barring that-try green beans 
but it doesn't look nearly as cute 
as you can  plainly see).

So, there you have it folks. 
A gourmet feast for any child. 
And, if you are very good, and don't whine, 
one day soon I will tell you how to make 
Nana's Bananas.

This is longer than my regular posts
and a story from when 
SweetCheeks was little.
I might throw one of these in
now and then---
just for fun.