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Monday, August 23, 2010

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

It started out to be a fine day-
I called my daughter, Mimi,
to see if she wanted to meet
halfway between houses
and go "junking".
Ooooh...what shall we find?
Look at THIS!Nope! Sorry-we didn't find THAT..
How about THIS?
Could this place get any cooler?
Nope we couldn't find a place like that either.
Please...please...please...don't write me and
ask WHERE these places are...
cuz I just don't know...
I cut them out of a magazine somewhere
and now they exist just in my
imagination-but if YOU
know where they are-
please let ME know.
No-when I met Mimi
our little baby E was propped up
in a cart
looking like this...
Doesn't he look like a little
Irish elf?
It's okay..
you can say it...
we all know it..
Notice the lovely racks of clothes behind him?
I am especially fond of the multi-colored polka dot shirt.
It would look nice with my orange
pullover sweatshirt..
(which will match the ORANGE drive-about that
MyHero is trying to place in our garage-see yesterday's post
if you missed THAT story)

However...I digress...
Pay attention-we are now back on topic.
When you call BabyE's name
he turns and sweetly gives you THIS look...
That hair! Oh! I love that hair!
His Mom had hair like that when she was little.
They shared another attribute too.
Screeching...
Not your normal wailing and crying..
No I am talking out and out
train whistle piercing screeching.
I am talking about
this kind of screeching...
The break the glass type of ear-splitting..
makes me want to put my head
under my armpit
kind of screeching.
In the store..
In the thrift store...
In the thrift store with other people...
In the thrift store with mean old lady ugly people
A lady that is so unhappy with her life and situation
that she has become MEAN
and she wants everyone to KNOW she is mean!
Yeah...one that looks kind of like THIS!

You will find her at Ugly People
I didn't dare take a picture of the real one..

I was afraid she might clock me with her cane.

She could have looked over and grinned and made

some casual, funny remark about

screechy kids...(which I would have probably done)

Instead she said...THAT CHILD SHOULDN'T BE IN HERE..

In kind of an under-her-breath-just-loud-enough-to-overhear-it

kind of voice.

I was a little bit embarrassed until she walked away...

Wait- Wait- What was that noise?

Mimi & I look at each other puzzled...

She says- MOM!!! I say..MOM WHAT?

Well-what's that noise, MO-OM?

Huh? Was it thunder?

Was it? No it couldn't be THAT!

As she was walking away, still muttering

about the NOISE and BEHAVIOR of a one year old,

the purr of gas escaping continued to

ripple behind her rolling cart.

I lost all sense of being embarrassed about a screechy kid...

I now realized that the two of them probably had something

in common after all. They were both wearing diapers (I hope).

There was a part of me that just felt a bit sad for her...and...

we were trying not to laugh..because getting old ain't for sissies.

I am feeling a bit bad for her-had she been a tad kinder I

would have felt really AWFUL for her...

But-shame on me-I laughed....and laughed...and laughed...

we put our heads in between the rows of hanging things (Lord, please

let me know that they were clean things) and we laughed...and laughed...

as BabyE continued to screech and she continued to complain...and "toot"..

Two different "trains" on two different life tracks.

And...the monkey riding this train

will get cuter by the day...

Eventually the screeching will stop....

he will change and start growing up....

and he will start talking like a regular little boy..

After all-he only just turned one.

And Granny? Well, God bless her...

Her train apparently has a gas engine

rather than a steamer.

24 comments:

  1. An entertaining post for sure!!!

    BTW, he's a darling!!!

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  2. Oh, enough already! I have tears rolling down my cheeks and onto my shirt from busing a gut. You are so crazy and thanks for starting my day with a good laugh. I would have had to say something to her. I do wish you would take the no-reply comment off your comments so I can reply from my email, too. You are a hoot and that is one adorable blonde curly haired child. Just too precious.

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  3. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! This is the best story I have heard in a long time ~ making me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt!! I will be remembering this one all week when I need to smile or laugh again! Thanks for sharing the cute photos too!

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  4. I am sitting here laughing my head off, good thing my coffee was already down! Have not laughed this early in a while! Oh and look at your little cutie pie, he is just adorable!

    Have a great day and thanks for the early morning laugh!

    Nancy

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  5. your junk shopping may not get a write up in some fancy magazine, but it's real life and FUNNY!

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  6. Hello there! I am your newest follower. I wanted to stop by and thank you for checking out our blog and leaving such sweet comments. I know people are busy so your time means alot to us when you stop by.

    Have a wonderful day!

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  7. Again - hysterical!!
    I think some old folks read that thing about how it's OK to do something, because 'they're old'. I, personally, would be mortified to pass a raging gas-bomb in public! Ha!!
    Especially if I thought YOU were behind me!!
    That child is beautiful and has the face of an angel.
    Thanks for another wonderful morning laugh!!
    Hugs,
    gabriele

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  8. the shot of ugly people Granny...
    Laid me flat out!
    I'm still laughing...
    I've decided....I will stop here a few times a day for the sole purpose of laughing outloud!
    Girlfriend ...you should be writting for the local newspaper!
    Precious Grandson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    xoxo~Kathy @
    Sweet Up-North Mornings...

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  9. How could you not burst out laughing when someone does something like that!! Especially a mean someone. I bet she had children once & had the same thing happen to her!!

    Baby E is soooo darn cute!!

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  10. Dang you are funny! This was so cute because it really happens! And I HATE it when someone lets one and I have to smell it!!! And that ugly people site is unreal!!! ;D

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  11. This post had me laughing out loud! Hilarious! :) And that Baby E...SOOO CUTE! Oh my goodness! How could anyone be upset at his baby squeels?? He's so precious!

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  12. Even if you had found no treasures, a good laugh with your daughter is a gift.
    And scrrechy or not, that baby is adorable. (Maybe more so without sound.)

    I am not far SE of you!
    It is amazing how prices vary between GB, Fox Valley, Manty and Sheboygan.

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  13. Thank you for the busted gut!
    Give Baby Efan a hug from his 'auntie'
    who isn't one of those that can't laugh at
    the antics of a young one.

    By the way, I got a chuckle yesterday, in church of all places.

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  14. Oh...my....gosh.....! Excuse me while I change MY diaper!! LOLOLOL! Diana, you SHOULD be writing for the local paper. You are sooooo funny! Does your Hero think so, too? lol! I sat here laughing just imagining you and Mimi with your heads stuck between the clothes rack laughing your heads off! Hey, I wonder if BabyE's hair color comes in a box.....?

    Smooches, crazy friend o'mine!

    xoxo laurie@heavens-walk

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  15. Hahaha! That is too funny about the mean old lady! Sorry you didn't find your dream stores. I'm always looking for those too. At one point I swear I decorated a room in my house too look like one, I just needed to add pretty little price tags to my stuff when I realized what I was doing lol! I think they're all in France, at least that's how I picture it anyway hehe!

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  16. It still says no reply comment by the name on the email. I can't remember how I fixed mine.

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  17. Hi Diana - thanks for finding me through Laurie. I just joined your blog and what a funny first post to be reading!!

    Oh my - she was punished for being so mean...what a funny post. Look forward to knowing you better and yes, I hope my posts will bring you some of that Florida sunshine up your way this winter!!

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  18. Oh this is HILARIOUS!
    ANd only your cute~funny self could tell it like you do!
    How FUNNY!
    Shame on her for making such a RUDE remark!
    It serves her right!
    And I would have rolled laughing too!
    Ha...hahahahha!
    SO FUNNY!
    xo

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  19. Son of a gun, Diana! You are soooo crazy! I would have had to leave the store from laughing too loud!!
    I thought only guys laughed at farts...but from all the comments, women must too!
    You sure have a way with telling stories.LOL.
    Debbie@houseatthelake

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  20. okay...I just read your post to my hubby, and now he's laughing with me.
    Debbie@houseatthelake

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  21. Hi Diana... Seriously you are a crack up, you must be the life of the party, you certainly are the life of blogland!!
    That hair... why is it boys always get that hair :-)
    I am looking forward to morning:-)
    Bella

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  22. Sweet justice, huh...what a hoot or should I say toot! Thanks for the light hearted post I needed it today. Patty

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  23. Lol, this was too funny! Reminds me of an old joke :-) I had one that screeched too. Oh, she could pierce some ears. Thankfully she was my 4th child, so I'd learned a little already about "this too shall pass".
    Thanks for making me smile.
    Blessings,
    Marcia

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  24. I am still laughing! People can be so mean. No matter what anyone thinks, there's no need to say it outloud. Maybe that tooting was all the meanness trying to come out of her!!

    Your right, getting older isn't for sissies and sometimes I think it causes you to get mean!! Thanks for the laugh!

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