Tuesday, April 29, 2014

One Of My Most EMBARRASSING MOMENTS In Life

Let me preface this by saying
this was NOT my finest hour.

This is my friend, Patty.
She is expounding on something.
She is a VERY GOOD expounder.
This was taken a few years ago.
Yes! She had one of THOSE sweaters!
I think we all did.

Anyway, my most embarrassing moment
involves moi, Patty, and my daughter, Mimi.
We were at a
WOMEN'S CHURCH RETREAT.
There were meetings that took you from 
laughter to tears.
You know that feeling, right?

I will try to make this short.
There had just been a very sad story prior to the upcoming moment.
You know that feeling?  
You are emotionally charged one way or another?
.
One of the lecturers was talking 
about someone she knew.

He was working on his car and 
GOT UNDER IT 
holding a gasoline soaked rag 
and because it was dark 
HE LIT A MATCH.
Well~you can imagine what happened.
He got burned.
NOT FUNNY, RIGHT?

Well, Mimi side whispered to me and Patty.
What kind of idiot lights a match under a car 
with gasoline there?
Patty started breathing heavily and 
covered her mouth & closed her eyes.
I started to laugh to myself (inside) 
but I was shaking.
Pretty soon Patty was shaking, too,
and then it happened.
SHE SNORTED.
I lost it- I was shaking all over 
and put my head down
on my arms on the table in front of me 
so that I wouldn't 
lose it completely,
hoping no one would notice that I
was laughing uncontrollably.

The woman on my other side (that I did not know)
thought I was taking the story very hard and 
PATTED ME ON THE BACK.

Patty and I started howling out loud.
Mimi got up and pushed her chair in between us.
We hung our heads in shame.
At the break we left the meeting and 
did NOT go back for the last talk.

So, the moral is,
never go to a meeting with Patty.
She is BAD LUCK and someone
might wet their pants!
not me-thanks for asking

ps-the man in question recovered completely
pps.  We never have.

Have an embarrassing moment 
YOU want to share?
I'm all ears-well, and mouth, obviously.
your photo name

69 comments:

Ron said...

Too many embarrassing moments. I almost spit out my coffee. When I saw the photo of your friend, I thought, "ain't that a lovely sweater???" NOT! Just yesterday I was teaching a lesson on the outer Planets to my 6th graders and said Uranus is made up of toxic gas..... It was a class of 6th graders. 6th grade boys LOVE "poop" stories!!!!! Oh boy!!!!! xo

Nancy's Notes said...

Oh gosh, I just had the biggest laugh ever - and this early in the morning and before coffee! And I can't stop chuckling! Oh Diana, that is hilarious!!! Seems like I've had one of those type situations and it's always at a women's meeting or someplace like that and it's always with someone like Patty! Love that Mimi, she knew what to do with you gals!

Cindy @ Dwellings-The Heart of Your Home said...

Hilarious! I've been known to snort when having one of those uncontrollable belly laughs...that's embarrassing enough!
Blessings
Cindy

Deb @ Frugal Little Bungalow said...

ha ha ha she looks like trouble! :)

Not only do I remember those sweaters, I remember the era of decorating sweatshirts in a similar manner. When my kids were little, I did just such a think for my mom, MIL, and sister's mom. All Christmas sweatshirts ...beautifully and most likely tackily decorated but I was quite proud of myself at the time LOL!

NOW the kids pick these things up from relatives and thrift stores and have Ugly Christmas Sweater parties ! :)

Japolina said...

Good thing I wasn't there with you because I have a similar problem (with the laughing, not the lighting myself on fire). Seriously, who lights a match under a car? I think I would like that Patty

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

Well, how could you not laugh. It was really Mimi's fault for saying what she did and I'm sure I would have just lost it, too, Diana. I'm actually surprised you kept it together as long as you did!

Have a great week!

Liz@ HomeandGardeningWithLiz said...

Hey I had at least two of those kinds of sweaters!! OMG I would be very dangerous around someone like you! I've been known to start up a laughter session that can go on and on to the point of pain! Well they say laughter is good for the soul! I read Ron's comment and laughed out loud- too funny! I have too many embarrassing moments to share but one involves flipping over backwards in my chair at my desk at work....yeah you can finish that one!

Karen thisoldhouse2.com said...

Yep, but you won't get it out of me, no way, no how :-)

Tessa~ Here there be musing said...

not even going to ask myself that question!?! best to forget such. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL...

Cranberry Morning said...

Oh Diana, how shameful! ;-) I too have a friend I can't risk sitting next to during anything serious. We know what each other is thinking and laugh at the MOST inappropriate moments. Very dangerous. I suspect it's a good thing you and I don't attend meetings together. I was giggling at my great grandmother's funeral. But I was only 13, so please give me a break. The other embarrassing moments I'll keep to myself. LOL And I've only had one of those sweaters, a zippered cardigan, pale blue, with sweet little felt snowmen all over it. I've never dared wear it out in public, so I only wear it around the house, but it's hard to find a nice cardigan! But I know that the minute people see it, they think you're an elementary school teacher. :-)

Jettie said...

I'll keep my stories to myself thank you very much. I don't want them plastered all over your blog. But, secretly, I'll tell you about a drawer, my dh, and how I still laugh.

Anonymous said...

The snort- yikes! I would have done the exact same thing and be hanging my head in same too! I say, let's blame Mimi!

Beth said...

LOL Heavens yes, I have had lots of embarrassing moments but you are braver than I am so I am not talking. :-)

Susie said...

Diana, The fellow being burnt wasn't funny...but boy your reaction and Patty's sure was....I hate when I have the urge to laugh and have to stifle myself. Oh I have come so close to wetting my pants. Maybe someone needs to invent old girl laughing panties. For the uncontrollable burst of laughter. I would buy them. xoxo,Susie

Nellie said...

The lesson I've learned from this? Be sure to sit somewhere else! :-) You, Patty, and Mimi are sure to bring up the giggles in others, too. xo Nellie

Stacey said...

Well I can't think of an embarrassing moment now though there have been so many! The moment you just described is one of the sweet moments in life. There's nothing better than a good hard laugh. :)

Sharon @ Elizabeth & Co. said...

Oh you crazy girls! And I'm embarrassed to admit that I had a whole collection of those sweaters!

Dee said...

Something very similar happened to me once at a funeral. My sister whispered something funny to me and that was it. Oh the looks we got... not good.

Leslie Anne Tarabella said...

I'm also known for inappropriate laughter, so I feel your pain (and joy!)
It's strange . . . now that I think about it, I also cry inappropriately. At parades, the National Anthem, a McDonald's commercial . . . do you do that too?

Anonymous said...

oh my gosh that is so funny, embarrassing but very funny! I'm so glad he is OK, I bet he never did that again,

J said...

Hilarious! For me it was my buddy, Joni at elementary PTA meetings. We'd snicker and snort our butts off at naive suggestions made by other moms who had no realistic idea of what activities you could do with a classroom of kids and still end up sane at the end of the day. We kept coming back, though - but slowly those dreamers slipped away, leaving Joni and I with all the work. Hmmmm....now that I see this in print it doesn't seem so funny anymore! NOT!

Penny @ Penny's Vintage Home said...

Why is it that things are so much funnier when you know you absolutely CAN'T laugh????? Be there...done that....so many times I can't begin to tell you! Hugs, Penny

Michele M./ Finch Rest said...

Oh my gosh, just oh my gosh, Diana - this would soooo happen to me. And the worst timing to not laugh is when you are nearly unable to stop.

My word this is a funny but horrible story.

I have a funny feeling you and I could be deadly together lol.

Tina@WhatWeKeep said...

I would have been right there with you so no judgement here! Glad he was okay, but Mimi was right. :)

Junkchiccottage said...

Oh my Diana only you!!!!!! Glad the man was ok but really what was he thinking? I hate when the snort happens it just sets off a whole chain reaction so I get it. You could not help it. I would have reacted the same way. You just cannot trust a snorter at those things. LOL! Good story loved this today. It gave me a chuckle.
Kris

Lin from A {tiny} Cottage In The Woods said...

The problem with BFFs is that they get you into situations like this. Too funny. I used to get into giggle fits like this with my sister. I smile just thinking about her!
:)
xo,
Lin

Patty Patterson said...

LOL... Too funny! But really, laughter is good medicine. If the man could laugh at his own mishap, he might have healed faster. Laughter is good. :-)

Shirley said...

Laughter is good for the soul even at the most embarrassing times. I have been there and done that or been with the kids and got this look like mom quit. I have enjoyed catching up with your blog this rainy morning. I would like for it to warm up again. Have a wonderful day Hugs and Prayers from Your Missouri Friend.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it awful when you start laughing inappropriately like that. The trouble is, knowing this makes you laugh even harder. Some years ago a friend and I went to a Christmas carol service at the local church. Beforehand, she said to me that she sometimes gets quite emotional signing the carols. I knew what she meant, some carols have that effect on me too. Before one carol a very earnest young woman walked to the front of the church carrying a guitar, she made me think of the nun in the Airplane film. I whispered 'Airplane' to my friend, who knew exactly what I meant, and that was it, we started giggling. In the end we were both had tears streaming down our faces as we laughed so hard; this wasn't quite the emotional response we had anticipated, and not the most appropriate behavior for two grown women in church!

Gypsy Heart said...

I understand! The most serious moments can be totally undone by hysterical laughter ~ and yes, by all means, it's happened to me! More than once, I might add. :)

xo
Pat

Vee said...

Oh the worst feeling in the world! Yes, it has happened and I am still too overcome to share. Mortifying. Patty sounds like the kind of gal to keep away from funerals, too.

Stephanie said...

What are friends for :) Thanks for the laugh, Diana. Enjoy your Tuesday!

Lisa @ Texas Decor said...

Oh this is too funny!! I've had that uncontrollable laughter many, many times before! Let's see...an embarrassing moment...there's so many to choose from. Oh, here's one...I was in 8th grade and we were staying after school to decorate posters for the upcoming football game. We always took our shoes off and just ran around in our socks. Well, I ran out of poster paint, so I ran into the art room to get more and slipped and totally fell flat on my face! Like, you could hear the "splat" of my hands hitting the floor. I looked up and who do you think I saw??? The very football player I had a huge crush on!! I was in terrible pain. He asked if I was alright and of course I said with a smile "Oh yeah, I'm fine." Then I limped out of the room, finished my poster and never looked him in the eye again. :)

Attic Clutter said...

Hi Diana(:)
oh my what a story LOL
Have a wonderful week..thanks on my bench too..hugs.Patty

20 North Ora said...

How funny! I have a story for you. John and I and Michelle - our little French poodle - were at War Eagle in Arkansas at one of the largest outdoor arts and crafts festivals. We took Michelle because we were going to be gone several days and she was tiny so I could carry her around in my purse. Anyway, back to the story. We had walked a lot and it was hot and I told John I wanted to get something to drink. He gave me some money (because all I had in my purse was a dog) and I went to stand in line - thinking John was right behind me. I said "Oh, my shoulders and back hurt, will you rub them please?" I was standing there in line getting the best should massage I had ever had and turned around to say thanks - and - it wasn't John, A complete stranger was standing there rubbing my shoulders. I was so embarrassed and apologized to him. He just laughed it off. John was standing back quite a way getting a real kick out of what was going on.

Judy

20 North Ora said...

That was suppose to be shoulder massage ---

Judy

Jackie See said...

I am laughing... still laughing... I will probably laugh all day... yep, this one is going to last a while!

Sherry at The Rusty Pearl said...

Still laughing. I love your stories my friend. LOVE IT

Anonymous said...

Oh I read the start of the blog to hubby out loud he is in the kitchen to the garbage can. Then he walks out of kitchen and I am reading the rest. Your blog is the one he loves me to read. He said your blogs are so humorous many a time. He likes your blogging. You have another fan here Sid.. He said same thing as your friend said. What does that ----- think he is doing that. Duh.

I am laughing so much myself but I am not you guys at that meeting years back so I really feel for you both. I would be embarrassed. At such a sad

story and then you both got uncontrollable giggles. That lady was a great saver saying what she sad about your taking it hard with your head down. Whew. Saved by the bell I would think.

Love the ending. I thought the beginning with your friend with the sweater that you two wore the same sweater not knowing the other was too. You got me Di..

Janice Kay Schaub said...

OMG I so would have been with you howling hysterically. I mean who the heck does that sort of thing? I bet he bumped a few things getting out from under too. Oh how funny, I would have wet my pants for sure
Janice

LostRoses said...

I am snorting in sympathy. Love it!

Kelly said...

Didn't anyone ever tell you that if it's embarrasing, you shouldn't repeat it??? Just kidding. It's good that you can laugh at yourself about it. I've had plenty of those moments myself. One even occurred at someone's funeral. Yikes!

Unknown said...

WOW! Do I know what this is like. We were at one of my sister's wedding rehearsal and we all got the giggles.5 of us and we couldn't stop. All I remember afterwards is my dad telling us that we better behave at the wedding!!!

Maureen Wyatt said...

My mother, sister and I did it in church with a visiting minister that kept repeating words. It was cruel to laugh at him, but once it started we could not stop. It was so bad we had to walk out in the middle of the sermon. I'm embarrassed about it to this day!

White Lace and Promises said...

I needed this laugh. I'm laughing hysterically because that is something that would happen with me and one of my friends. But the part that really makes me laugh is that the lady beside you thinks you are in an emotional moment and pats your back. Hysterical!

Kay G. said...

Honey, I have so many embarrassing moments...but I am saving them up for my stand-up comedy routine. Let me know and I will put YOU in the front row! xx

Dixie Delights said...

What a hoot! I always look forward to your stories :-)

camp and cottage living said...

You had me laughing too.
OMG I can visualize it all...
I've had these moments too, I'm afraid!

camp and cottage living said...

Oh, I remember a rather cute incident that happened to me once.
My hubby and I owned a grocery store in a small tourist community at one time. Our office was located just a few feet from the stores check out.
I was busy stocking the shelf in one of the isles and my husband was doing books in the office (so I thought). Anyway the phone was ringing and ringing and I was busy so I yelled over to my husband," Will you please pick up that phone"! Almost immediately the phone quit ringing, but the voice I heard speaking didn't sound at all like my husbands. I peeked around the corner to find an elderly gentleman who was waiting at the check out had picked up the phone and answered it. This fellows name was Ike. He was a very quiet spoken, regular customer of ours who came in every day to buy his daily food supplies. I was so embarrassed! The poor guy thought I was yelling at him to pick up the phone, so he did just what I told him to do.

FABBY'S LIVING said...

OMG! Your friend Patty looks just like a lady friend I have, with the same face and white hair, lol!
My friend, that was funny and it's happened to me right at church when I cannot stop shaking from laughter; that's even embarrasing to start with! I know I've had a few, I'll try to remember a good one, lol! You made me crack up Diana and I can just see you shaking and the woman next to you thinking: 'here you are, such a sweet sentimental gal!'
Hugs,
FABBY

Kim said...

I'm an inappropriate laugher and (shame) a snorter...and once I snort, there's no going back! I have tons of embarrassing stories, so yea, I get it!

Celestina Marie said...

Diana I would be rollin in the aisle after Mimi whispered what she did. This is too funny. But the snorting would take me over the top. It would be a real scene. LOL I'm laughing now too just thinking about it. You three had to be a riot together!!
Hugs

Donna said...

Hahahaha! That is hilarious, Diana! And to think that person behind you was "consoling" you! Too funny! I was thinking the same thing, what kind of idiot would light a match! Yep, plenty of embarrassing things in my life, but I don't know if I would want to announce them here:)!

Ceekay-THINKIN of HOME said...

When I really get going laughing, I snort too!!

Debbie Harris said...

Haha! Girl, you make me laugh :-)
Oh do I ever know those most embarrassing moments. I have a few myself, but I couldn't share here. :-)
And those sweaters!!! Could they get any uglier! Yes I have worn them and I have even taken first prize in them.
Loved your post.

Shirley@Housepitality Designs said...

Oh how so very funny....yes, when you start laughing with a SNORT...then it is over...cannot stop ...yes, have had several of those moments..trying to keep the laughter at bay by holding your hands over your mouth and then the laughter explodes!...thanks for making me laugh!!!!

RURAL said...

What can I say, but snort?

LOL.

Jen

The Polka Dot Closet said...

OMG...That was so funny! I have had the same thing happen in church...There is nothing more painful than trying not to laugh...Thank you for brightening my night, you are so good at that!

Carol

Renee said...

Of course. Many times. Most recent was tripping over my own feet at hubby's family reunion. Ugh.

Leena Milligan Lanteigne said...

LOL! I feel your pain! If anybody snorts, I completely lose it! It makes me laugh, which usually makes them snort more, which makes me laugh more! I try very hard not to embarrass myself, but my husband is no help. We will be walking down an aisle at the grocery store and just as a person enters the aisle at the opposite direction, he'll decide to pass gas. All I can do is hold in my laughter and head for the end of the aisle to escape, knowing at some moment soon, the person is going to hit the "force field of doom" and I don't want to be anywhere near when they do! It's like "I don't know that man"! LOL! Hugs, Leena

Joy Junktion said...

LOL ~~ Wouldn't you like to know?!?! I'll never tell but it has something to do with being in an arena, thinking our team had won the title and after screaming and jumping up and down, realizing they didn't say our team's name..................

Linda @ Itsy Bits And Pieces said...

Oh I understand that feeling...unfortunately, it has happened to me with other family members at 2 funerals (I know...). I think emotions are so close to the surface that you just lose it...

My Garden Diaries said...

LOVE it!!!!! I can just see you guys doing this and you know what....I have had crazy moments like this where I am just trying so hard not to break down laughing but it happens and the fact that the woman next to you patted your back....that just made me laugh out loud!!! HA! This was great and your pal looks pretty great too! Nicole xoxo

Martha's Favorites said...

That is a funny story. I could just see you. Thanks for the happy heart you left me with today. Blessings, Martha

Karen @ Beatrice Euphemie said...

Oh yes - I've crawled under a rock or two. Once, after my Uncle's funeral, we all went back to my Aunt's house. Everyone was telling little stories about my Uncle and I told mine, which was a funny story, and I ended it by saying, 'Couldn't you just die?' Yup. Don't feel too bad. We've all been there. xo Karen

Donna said...

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard right now! Your story totally reminds me of the Mary Tyler Moore "Chuckles the Clown" episode at his funeral! LOL
Donna

Something Nice and Pretty said...

You are so funny Diana! If I had been with you I would have been down underneath the table so no one would see me except if I would have heard that snort I know I'd have laughed out loud!

Amy at Ms. Toody Goo Shoes said...

Omg, that is hilarious! Patty sounds like my cousin - It is dangerous being in a room full of people with her, and to boot, she is the queen of snorters. I do have a very embarrassing story, but I'm saving it in case I ever have the guts to write about it!

Sherry @ Thrift My House said...

Oh my gosh... funerals are the worst! I went to one with a friend and she made me giggle the entire time. It was horrible. But I couldn't help it.
My most embarrassing moment was - I dislocated my knee while teaching the preschoolers at church. It was a Wednesday night and the ambulance came and got me and rolled me down through the middle of the service with everyone gawking... I could have died.