Here's how you make a Valentine.
First you get out 3 bottles of glue. Make sure none of them are washable (that would make cleanup too uncomplicated and would not allow you to use curse words). So, first and foremost, do NOT use Elmer's Washable School Glue. That one is for sissies.
Next you must find 3 partners to make the cards with. Let's say they are ages 3, 5 & 7! Oh, boy! We're in for some fun now! You now have the two most important ingredients. Kids and glue oh wait...wait...I forgot the THIRD and MOST important ingredient - GLITTER- bottles and bottles of glitter. Next? Make sure you pull their hair back (if you pull it tight enough so their eyes slant it should stay in bounds until the gluing part is over with). Then- bring out your box of CRAFT SUPPLIES. You don't have any? Sure you do! Let's see....do you have magic markers? Do you have tissues? Do you have any crayons? Do you have a knife? Wait...wait...forget the knife...just get out the other stuff. Knives can be very dangerous in the wrong hands. Some of us learned that in couples' counseling, didn't we?
So, now we have kids, glue, GLITTER and supplies. Let the fun begin!!! Wait...what? Oh, yes~I almost forgot we need SCISSORS. The scissors are the highlight of the whole project. With scissors you can take 1 sheet of construction paper and make 10,000 smaller pieces of paper. Make sure there is some glue on that paper before they start cutting. That way, when it falls on the floor it will stay in one place-----forever. I always wanted a "speckled" pattern on my floors and finally got it...it looks especially good on the nice polished wood base.
Lucy and Lulu set to work in earnest. Not to be outdone by SweetCheeks who has managed to free her hair from her ponytail. Not to worry though-the hair is not in her eyes-it is glued to her forehead-oh, isn't she C-U-T-E? The glitter that has fallen on her eyelashes is an especially nice touch. Meanwhile, Lucy has misplaced her scissors (they are probably glued under something) but she is sure Lulu has them. She is SO sure that she is SCREAMING......NANA! LULU TOOK MY SCISSORS. Nope! SweetCheeks raises her hand with great confidence. " I haf dem". (Lord love a duck-She has the ones with the POINTY ends on them).Great- Lucy snatches the scissors from the gluey little hand. Crocodile tears begin to roll down SweetCheeks face and fall onto her "card". This is not going as smoothly as I had planned. NanaDiana to the rescue! Here...here....let me help you SweetCheeks- NO! I NOTWANNAHELP! (I just want to sit and cry so you feel sorry for me). Now, the "stop crying tricks" start? Oooohhh...look how pretty that is......sniffle...sniffle...sniffle....You did a really good job, didn't you? Head nods...sniffle...sniffle.. I think that is the BEST one! Nod and small smile!
Whereupon, Lucy & Lulu raise their heads in protest that theirs are better than THAT one!!!. SweetCheeks grins and replies- "NO they NOT-Nana sez my own is da bestest." Storm clouds begin to gather on the sidelines. Wait-wait- "Wow! They are ALL beautiful"...now who wants to help clean up the mess? No problem- but - "Hey, Nana, do you think we could make some cupcakes too?"
Huh? What? Do I LOOK crazy? Am I on Candid Camera? Are you kidding me? I open my mouth and out comes- "Who wants to lick the beaters?" (before remembering there are only TWO beaters and THREE kitchen aides ) Boy-o-Boy! I just can't WAIT until we dye Easter eggs!